CAN YOU.

Cauchy-Lorentz: “Something alarmingly mathematical is happening, and you should probably pause to Google my name and check what field I originally worked in.”

Curve-Fitting [Explained]

one of many reasons castiel spent the first year of knowing dean trying not to strangle him: dean’s weird little winchester-only dialect

i’m fucking obsessed with this right now, so buckle in for a meta. a cool fun (horrible) thing about dean’s dialogue is that a good 90% of what comes out of his mouth is:

a pop culture reference (“you’re just gonna take some divine bong hit, and shazam, you’re roma downey?”)

references to real life phenomenon (“i don’t wanna wake up missing a kidney in a bathtub full of ice” “try new mexico, i hear he’s on a tortilla”)

these also often take the form of nicknames, and dean has a tendency to give people nicknames in general or call them something besides their given name, whether it’s affectionate or rude (“easy there, van damme” “so i’m girl interrupted” furthermore castiel = cas, ezekiel = zeke, etc, see also frequent use of “chucklehead” “asshat” and on the nicer/endearments end “buddy” “pal” “sunshine” etc)

an idiom (“a snowball’s chance” “if it smells like a duck…”)

slang (“drinking the koolaid” “jonesing for some hooch” not to mention the literal endless amount of words dean uses to refer to killing - gank, waste, juice, ice, etc)

a metaphor (“power up your batteries” “fly me back to my page on the calendar”)

a euphemism (“cloud seeding” “i’d have given you an hour alone with her first”)

sarcasm (his habit of replying “peachy” or “super” when asked how he is)

wordplay (see: the entire “vampirate” and “werepire” debacles)

completely nonsensical (guessing what happened to a magical artifact: “it was dug up by tomb raiders? it was seized by the king of the dead by warlords?”)

said at lightning speed - if you pay attention, dean actually talks a LOT, usually a mile a minute (this makes me feel a way when you recall him being nonverbal for a year at age 4 but that’s another post)

slang IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE (casual usage of “guano,” etc)

a lie, a deflection, a joke, etc

or worse, something dean’s NOT saying, deliberately, because he’s one of the most repressed people on earth

the end result of all this being:

dean winchester is utterly infuckingcomprehensible. 

think about this. there’s an ENTIRE SECTION on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE PAGE of the spn wiki devoted to JUST explaining dean’s pop culture references, because the average viewer won’t have seen everything he’s talking about either. they have a whole page for this called “hunter’s lingo,” but honestly, it’s not all hunters, just sam and dean’s fucking batshit communication style. even i don’t understand dean half the time. SAM gets it, sam speaks it back to dean a lot in the early seasons, but that’s because sam and dean are 1. practically two halves of the same person 2. FREAKS. every time we get an episode that involves outsider POV is devoted to them going “what the fuck is WRONG with them?”

enter castiel. technically speaking, the show implies that angels are omnilingual. castiel should understand every language known to man, but knowing the meaning of words doesn’t help him understand the following:

pop culture references

references to real life phenomenon

nicknames

idioms

slang

metaphors

euphemisms

sarcasm

wordplay

you get the idea.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. castiel cannot understand a single fucking word that comes out of dean’s mouth. my guy laid a hand on dean winchester in hell and immediately fell in love with him and has no fucking idea what he’s talking about ever. because not only is dean winchester’s way of speaking CLINICALLY insane, and sometimes incomprehensible even to other human beings who are not sam, castiel is an angel, and someone prone to taking things even more literally than other angels do

go back and watch and watch seasons 4-5 especially. the reason cas does so much squinting and head tilting is because every time dean opens his mouth castiel has to open up his mental “dean winchester dictionary” and translate entire paragraphs on the fly, because again, dean never shuts up!

what makes this extra hilarious to me is this gem:

this line is from 5.13. at this point cas has known dean for AN ENTIRE YEAR AND A HALF. what you see here is my guy SNAPPING. cas made an EFFORT in this scene. he asked who glenn close was. he’s telling dean that he can’t understand him. he is doing his level best to have a normal conversation with this guy he has a crush on and for the life of him he cannot do it (equal but opposite energy to cas blowing up the gas station and motel room in 4.01, tbh)

yes, cas can understand dean’s tone. he can use context clues, and he usually gets the general idea. and when cas DOES understand dean’s jokes, he laughs at them. the first time we ever see him smile is during their 4.07 heart-to-heart when dean says “it was a witch, not the tet offensive.” since cas has knowledge of human history, he knows what the tet offensive is; he got the joke, and he laughed.

but as far as actual dialogue goes, he consistently struggles to keep up. even after metatron gives castiel the pop culture knowledge in season 9, cas struggles to put it to put it to proper use (dean: “you wanna just walk right into the death star?” cas: “what does a fictional battle station have to do with this?”). whenever he asks dean to clarify it’s always when he’s most annoyed, like most of the time he knows it would be futile but he’s too annoyed to care. (dean: “i don’t know who’s on first, what’s on second!” cas: “what IS second???”) i’m pretty sure he spends seasons 4-6 wanting to shake dean by the shoulders and ask him why he is LIKE THIS. 

it takes cas - who, again, is omnilingual - YEARS to begin to acclimate to dean’s speech and start speaking that language back to him. it’s season 8 before we start really hearing him use slang, season 9 before he begins to understand wordplay, season 10 before he starts using pop culture references (to other angels, who immediately fail to understand him, which disappoints him immensely), and season 11 before he really gets into metaphors. i don’t remember what season he started using “yeah” instead of “yes” but i do know it took a really damn long time. 

and honestly, i don’t think cas truly got the hang of it until at least season 11-12. that’s something like 7 or 8 YEARS. it’s more than half the time they’ve known each other at the point of the series finale. 

so what’s true romance, fellas? it’s falling completely and totally in love with the most inexplicable person you will ever meet in your whole 4.5 billion year life, even though you have yet to understand a single thing he’s ever said to you. thank you for coming to my ted talk

DUMBLEDOOOOOOOOOOREEEEE

harry potter was so messed up guys

not the book series

the character

he was so messed up like he lived in a closet and was hungry and treated like crap and no one helped him escape that life for a decade and then he finally gets to know his heritage and his family and oops kiddo you’re kind of famous?? wizard jesus??? so deal with that without any kind of adult guidance whatsoever you’re eleven and grew up in a house without any kind of emotional support you’re mature enough to handle that and THEN he finds out that he’s actually got people in this world that want him and want to love him and he finds out that… this world… hates them???  like one’s a werewolf and the other is a “criminal” and this world that celebrates his life hates the people that want to genuinely love him and care for him??? and the family that also loves and protects him are treated like crap because they are poor?????? and aren’t racist??? 

then he grows up a bit more and then suddenly he’s got this fuckin’ genocidal war lord out for his head specifically and he’s killing people and shit and NO ONE BELIEVES HIM they literally look at him like YEAH RIGHT YOU ARE JUST THE LITTLE BABY THAT SURVIVED A BAD NIGHT YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING and Harry’s like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

YOU KNOW WHAT NO FUCK YOU

and then he starts a club to teach kids… how to protect themselves?  Because he’s been let down by adults all his damn life so fuck them fuck them all he doesn’t need them they won’t listen to him so he’ll do what he can to protect these kids because the adults won’t do it it’s all on him he’s gotta do it he’s gotta

and then people that love him and want to protect him just for the sake of protecting a friend start dying one by one

and then he fuckin learns that all his fuckin life he’s been raised to be killed and he just

walks into the forest calmly 

and accepts it

WHAT THE FUCK 

.

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Every supernatural episode ever

if cas isn’t in it then I don’t care

[Knocking on doors for personality donations] Post #1 - To draw your Kind Attention please

[Knocking on doors for personality donations] Post #1 – To draw your Kind Attention please

“Can you take a few minutes to talk about our -” and the door slams. I understand, no one likes a door to door caller. That doesn’t mean that I have not received what I want. Oh wait, starting from the middle makes no sense – literally and metaphorically.

So, I am not a salesman, I am a collector of sorts – I go around taking whatever I am offered. Everyone over here does. No man is an island.…

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And of course I'm still gonna read this fic a hundred times over

sometimes you read a fic and it’s so predictable but in the best way possible like, of course draco and harry had a secret sexual relationship right after the war of course it ended badly less than a year after it began because neither of them know how to talk about their feelings of course they ghosted each well into their mid twenties but now? oho! now draco is back! perhaps he is friends with harry’s friends, perhaps they are now colleagues, perhaps harry needs a professional expert and draco malfoy is the only one smart enough in all of great britain to help out and OF COURSE they are going to spend the entire fic agonizing over what their relationship could have been if only they hadn’t been so daft and selfish in their late teens!! 

Dunno what's more feely, it being put in words or that

It being put in words!!!

There’s a profound sense of loneliness which accompanies the experience of an INTJ. No one around is like you, no one can see your vision or understand the inner workings of your mind. Where you are expected to be warm, you are cold. Where you are thought to be harsh, you are soft. The idealistic dreamer that burns within us all is cynical, hardened by the failures of the world. Yet, it prevails. Burning with that quiet fury that drives us towards everything we do with ardour. An enigma to others, the only ones who naturally understand us are ourselves.

hey! bi people’s terms need more recognition!

doe: fem bi girl

stag: masc bi girl

tomcat: androgynous bi girl

mage: fem bi boy

knight: masc bi boy

druid: androgynous bi boy

dove: fem nonbinary bi

crow: masc nonbinary bi

pigeon: androgynous nonbinary bi