From-winded-to-wellness - A Winning Loser

I’ve been trying to do a reset after a mentally draining few weeks.

I ended up cleaning my depression room last night, which I’m really happy about. Then I burned some incense afterward. I plan on cleansing my entire space later this week to help with the vibes.

Now I’m gonna get back on track with my physical health because I feel like my PCOS has really been flaring up this past week. I know I need to give myself some grace though. The last couple weeks have just been about surviving and taking it one day at a time. Now I’m ready to get back to focusing on my goals.

Fitness/Fitspo Blog Suggestions?

Hey ya’ll! I’m looking for some more fitness/fitspo blogs to follow. Honestly, I’m not sure if there are a lot of people still using Tumblr for this anymore, but I would like to try.

If you post anything related to fitness/fitspo or even recipes, body positivty/self-love, workout suggestions, motivation, etc, please like this post so I can visit your blog. Or send me suggestions of blogs I should check out. Maybe we can even be mutals and motivate each other :) 

13 May 2022

My dog died 2 days ago and I’m still heartbroken.

Honestly, it feels so surreal knowing that I’m never going to see her again. 

I’ll never hear her barking at the birds whenever they’re hanging out on the lawn or at whatever neighbor’s cat that’s strolling along our fence.

When I step inside my house, I’m never going to see her rushing over to greet me. 

I’m never going to be able to take her on walks again.

Or pet her.

Or see her lie down by my feet in my room, while I’m watching tv or playing video games or doing homework.

I’m never going to be able to take her hiking like I had always wanted to, but never found the time to (now I’m really wish I had...)

It probably seems silly to some people to be feeling so emotional over a dog, but she wasn’t just a dog. She was basically family. She joined my family when when she was just a few weeks old. We basically raised her and I had some milestone years with her as well. To top it all off, she was going to turn 11 years old this month...

I know bigger dogs don’t live as long as smaller dogs, but I was really hoping I had at least a couple more years with her. With me moving back to my family home, since I graduate soon, I was looking forward to being home more often. Instead of having to go back and forth between two cities because of work and school.

I feel so bad because I feel like I didn’t have enough time with her. Like I said, the past few years, I was not consistently with her because of work and school. 

Now she’s gone and I’m never going to get that lost time back.

This and the biggest “I’m sorry” to my younger self for ever believing any of those people in the first place. I deserved better then and STILL deserve better now ❤️‍🩹

Fuck whoever fucked me up so bad that I convinced myself I’m not even worth anyone’s time

it is! x