Conservatives Accidentally Doing This Never Gets Old

BILL NYE can’t stress the importance of Climate Change enough

being haunted by a person you’ve never met and never will, someone you’ll never actually be

but you’ve got people who love you, maybe it’s gonna be okay

Upcoming Villain in Gotham: if only we knew Batman's identity! Then we could just go to his house and-

Riddler: we all know his identity

Catwoman: I regularly go to his house

Harley: I went to med school with him

Two-Face: he was my best friend

Red Hood: he's my Dad

UCVG: ...wait what?

Red Hood: family, you know how it is.

Can the gays catch a break please can the gays catch a single fucking break oh my god

On the bright side he’s just found one of the spiders I’ve left alive in the bathroom

I know this because he just shrieked so loud I’m sure everyone In the neighborhood thinks someone in this house has just been murdered

My older brother just told me that, basically, since I decided to not work 60 hour weeks on a less-than-minimum-wage-by-a-lot salary, I do Nothing and am Nobody so fuck him and his fucking “I’m working so hard all the time, I need you to make me food and do my chores and give me a pass on my dickishness” bullshit

Everybody in this house is stressed, bitch, dads got a new job that getting COVID could wreck for him, moms sacrificed all her time to an out of the house business making and selling Montessori style works for kids, and my classes, two of which I’m taking at the local college as my first ever college classes, are all behind because of a godamn schedule mishap. None of us are dicks to each other for no reason.

Apologies for the rant, it’s 10:00 at night and I’m bitter and angry and stressed the fuck out

Nothing I will ever see in my whole life will ever bring me as much joy as watching my 4-month old dog try to fit her entire foot in her mouth

It’s all downhill from here

im about 5 fucking seconds from putting the peeps in the chili pot and adding the m'n'ms.

consequences of your executions au: kings tide

sometimes we (i) forgot

Hell Fuckin Yes

as an aromantic i’m pretty neutral about valentines day, but i am a SLUT for February 15th, Day of the Candy Discounts