Fifthdimensionalgarbagehell - Welp

i bring a "they shouldnt have that wild animal in their house" sort of vibe to the conversation that enjoyers of cute animal videos dont really like

Every once in a while you’ll be having a nice family dinner and your mom will remind you that she reads Pride and Prejudice fanfiction in a casual conversation and continue with her thought like she hasn’t thrown everybody for a loop again

Just tried to type Mirabel on my phone for an unrelated thing and autocorrect tried to turn it into miracle so now I’m having Encanto feels how is everyone else today

tell me it’s not only me

My mom, 4 different bags of candy in her arms, spotting a ghost-shaped cookie cutter: oooh! Let’s make GHOST COOKIES

My brother, 17 years old but 49 in spirit: mom. You have so much stuff to do in preparation for the Halloween party tomorrow, we don’t have time for- mom. Mom p l e a s e-

looked up my symptoms on webmd and it turns out i have an ancient ancestral curse that has been passed down my bloodline for generations

Top ten sentences said right before disaster(?) @lyfeindark

The joys of being the family confidante

Playing Among Us with my brother is so fucking funny because he omits the truth and embelleshes things in discussions to make himself seem less sus but only when he really is a crewmate? And then he gets caught in the lie and of course we throw him out and he’s innocent every time? And he just Doesn’t Do That as the imposter so whenever he’s not acting suspicious we’re just like ‘should we vote him out or is he just getting better at being a not-sus crewmate’ and it’s hysterical

FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!

HERE WE GO MOTHERFUCKERS