My Mom, 4 Different Bags Of Candy In Her Arms, Spotting A Ghost-shaped Cookie Cutter: Oooh! Let’s Make

im about 5 fucking seconds from putting the peeps in the chili pot and adding the m'n'ms.

Just finished Good Omens 2 and-

…

I am NOT okay

I need fix-its and I need them NOW

catch me spending 14 hours a day on ao3 for the foreseeable future and good luck trying to get me to do anything else

Thank god it’s summer

When your dad finally catches your sibling in the act of being an ass and when he’s scolding them he says all the things you’ve thought privately and never said cause you’re bad at confrontation

idk man i think i'm not morally gray enough for some of these character conflicts

character is supposed to go to dinner with a high up nazi officer to make sure he drinks a beer that's going to be poisoned and she's all "oh, but he's such a nice guy. oh, i can imagine his mother weeping when her only son is dead. i don't know if i can do this."

mmmmm bro's a nazi, sis. bottoms up, motherfucker.

My mom, at the store: *wearing a mask*

Some asshole old dude: *sarcastically* does that mask make you feel safer?

Mom: *in English* oh I don’t speak English.

Asshole: ...you... don’t speak English?

Mom: *still in English* Nope! Not even a little.

Asshole: ...

Mom: *proceeds to ignore all his attempts to argue, then speaks to the cashier in English right in front of him*

God I love my mom so fucking much

the emotion i just experienced is kind of indescribable

Nothing I will ever see in my whole life will ever bring me as much joy as watching my 4-month old dog try to fit her entire foot in her mouth

It’s all downhill from here

No but to be serious guys i didnt expect that movie to be that kind of good. I expected great fights. I expected complicated morals. I did not expect that movie to say i know everything seems hopeless but you dont get a choice, you have to try. I did not expect that movie to say when we are up against an impossible, unjust threat the only way through is freely given kindness and forgiveness. I did not expext that movie to say the real way villans win is by preying on those we’ve already decided are hopeless. I did not expect that movie to say we all have to believe we can get better. Please believe me we can all get better. Oh my god.