“He’s toxic. His smile will poison you. His boyish charm dangerous. The glint in his eyes as he challenges you to do something devious is lethal.”
— (via hellothisistruth)
[ ✿ ] - my muse attempts to cook dinner for your muse. eunwoo & jennie.
it looks like something straight out of a horror movie. hair slick to her cheeks, water still dripping from the strands and it's officially autumn now, if eunwoo hadn't noticed before he surely will now as a drenched jennie shows up by his door at 1:58 am. when it rains it pours, not only in the sense that one tragedy is followed by many others, clearly it also applies to the weather. a late-night walk along the river ended up here, after a keycard was lost and a phone screen shattered. she simply tried to drown out the blues, not literally end up looking like someone who had been too close to drowning.
"i lost my room key." silence, "… and wrecked my phone.."
scared it sounds like an excuse she quickly coaxes up a formerly-functional phone from her pocket, showing it for the man in front of her as if it had been the aforementioned roomkey to earn access ; but to his apartment, rather than the hotel room she rents while her family doesn't want to see her. ( refuses to, if painfully honest )
by now eunwoo has progressed why someone is at the door in the middle of a rainy night. jennie ponders about if he also had been up, listening to the rainfall against the windows, let the blues in, or perhaps slept, when he sighs: 'get in, you're crazy.'
fifteen or so minutes later she sits on one of his kitchen-counters in a borrowed tee and sweats, towel over her shoulders to dry up her hair because it is far too late for either of them to start mopping his floors. a yawn stifled behind one hand, eunwoo struggling not to mirror her while unenthustiastically poking a burnt piece of toast in a most questionable mixture that jennie swears is the correct way of making brioche french toast.
'are you really sure this is how—' he chimes in, a concerned glance in direction up from .. whatever that is .. and towards the still half-drenched woman sitting there. her "yes, i googled it!" is quicker than what sounds trustworthy, especially if having heard jennie admit not having cooked much over the past two years, which recently was mentioned on radio, and she hopes he is unaware of that. yet before they have a chance to argue about jennie's former cooking skills it's——
stuck.
until the spatula forcefully gets underneath burnt bread, flinging it off the pan and straight onto the floor … surprise on both their faces, yet eunwoo stares at the pan in absolute disbelief. this couldn't possibly have happened. and mere seconds later the tiredness is like forgotten when soft laughter fills the room.
"let's just order delivery or make ramen instead..?" probably the first good idea jennie has had over the past 24 hours.
“i think the beauty of nature is something that cannot be replaced. not only from the blue scenery you take in by your eyes, but also from the sound you hear once you step on snow, and that feeling of crisp air. (in moments like those) i feel like everything in me is healing by itself. i got energized by nature and made myself a promise for the new year.”
Q. what was your promise? february is a good time to make some late new year’s resolutions.
‘let’s put more time towards a healthy body and mind.’ that’s my priority for this year. in terms of work, i also have the desire to show more of my growth than last year. but above all i want to see fans and meet them in person as soon as possible.
Q. in life there’s things that cannot be solved even if trying to. sometimes it feels hopeless / like it’s out of your hands, how does jennie handle such a situation?
even in such a situation i tend to do my utmost and try my very hardest, so i don’t have any regrets. if i can’t solve it after doing everything in my power then i have to put significance into my efforts and the process itself, and accept the outcome. even if i can’t just forget it like nothing happened.
Q. is there a specific moment that makes you realize ‘i value this person and we’re really close’? explain jennie’s way of expressing affection
i tend to be very shy. but when i’ve gotten to know somebody we naturally joke around a lot! i also become very attentive and dedicate myself to taking care of them, and generously try to shower them in my affection.
Q. do you agree with the saying that ‘life is short’? time can pass by quickly yet it can also flow slowly
normally the saying ‘life is short’ didn’t resonate with me. but when suddenly entering into 2022 i thought time had been going by really fast. i guess that’s why i keep making promises/goals for myself ; i should do my best so i can live every moment without regret.
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19th september, monday.
she doesn't know it yet -- but this is not going to be her week. monday. an iffy day in general according to popular opinion. perhaps not now, when far from the blues and closer to warmth that feels like summer ; LA. that reasoning lasts for a while ... only a while.
right before recording a performance for a tv segment she is nudged aside by the manager. eyes flickering up to catch sight of his face - then and there, without a word, jennie recognizes this is bad.
what's wrong..? her words go by ignored, a refusal for any sort of explanation or even response until they reach the group's makeup room which has been abandoned by the others.
i haven't done anything, i promise--
interrupted.
they have all your photos.
...all?
disbelief. perhaps she is playing dumb, or simply unable to imagine how fucking bad it is.
the way in which his hand leaves her shoulder is anything but reassuring, yet she stares up at him -- as if she cannot risk blinking in fear of what might come next. ( but no way she could hear wrong on this one ) he is only 4 years older than her, a close friend after the many travels and issues dealt with together. thus, the carefulness in the moment is somehow scaring her more than occasionally being lectured, and he is so visibly uncomfortable, more than jennie ; understandable as her gaze remains locked on him and ........
jennie. they're leaking your nudes..
while he still avoids meeting her eyes there is something so sad in how his voice is filled with nothing but defeat once uttering those words out loud. her name itself spoken almost like an apology. in that second jennie fails to comprehend this is about her, and it feels easier to focus on the concern for her own manager rather than grasp the reality.
reality hits hard when alone a few hours later.
somewhere between then and getting the news, jennie had slept, cried, deleted her private social media accounts, changed passwords. had ignored her mother's phone calls, all five of them. alongside the spam of concerned texts. ( the vision of her father never talking to her again after this got her too ashamed to. )
jennie is mourning the death of the image had -- knowing it will never be the same now, the internet never forgets. those pictures meant only for the love of her life, and no one else. but she cannot reach out to him now, and that is where the stress sets in. how do you rely on anyone now that your mistakes are for the whole world to see? she misses him. wouldn't he have told her that they could run away, find a spot where no one recognizes them? bring her wine, or food? walk through empty streets with his arm pressed against hers on nights when sleep was scared off by anxiety?
it was an easier time when relying on him, but that was then. nothing lasts forever - life so harshly teaches her time and time again.
in the unholy hours of the night jennie leaves the rented LA villa. hints of smeared mascara that has been covered up by makeup, phone on do not disturb. she plans to get in trouble, just to feel something else.
“I don’t want to be a piece of art. Nobody touches artwork. They just look from afar and move on.”
— Azra.T (via 5000letters)
anyone 6'0 or taller: stands near me
me: [softly] for fuck's sake
Tender is the night For a broken heart Who will dry your eyes When it falls apart?
jennie kim! she's a rebel since youth, but a woman, when needed. at the golden age of 26, she has much left to experience. she is broken but happy to live. sad, but in love with life. & you will never forget the moments you had with her.
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