I Had Said No

I wanna forget for a while

Forget the rules of the world

Forget about this heaviness resting on my shoulder

And the pressure around me that has already created a crack

For a while, I wanna forget

The mocking memories

I wanna close my eyes

To the terrible possibilities

For a while, I want the voices to be quite

That's the only wish I have

For a while, make me feel alive

Unlikeable

There's a girl in my class

Bright eyes and golden skin

Everyone loved her

But she's not me

Though I didn't desire her spotlight

But I too wanted to be liked

So I wove a new skin

With golden threads of lies

I wore it everywhere

Hiding me from myself

I smiled a little more

Talked a little less

I put up a good front

Yet it wasn't enough

underneath the fake skin

I couldn't hide the real me

It was so exhausting

“I gave up”

But I still can't figure out

How to be likeable

To you,

I was your shadow

Always following you

In stormy nights

In grainy lights

Even in your darkest hours

When you were too immersed

In your own darkness to see me.

I was your air

Essence of your life

But unnoticed

Until the day I left

And you realised

What suffocation is.

I was your sun

You frowned

Whenever you looked at me

Hid yourself

In my presence

But you didn't realise

Without me

No dawn is coming.

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Thank you so much @ist-me-sahid ❤️ You have a wonderful blog yourself. Sorry for answering late.

You are right my lady

I'm no one's judge or jury

I lack a heart to know your beauty

Nor am I a commander of truth

What do I say; what do I do?

When I'm just your eyes

Reflected back at you.

Mirror, mirror on the wall;

Save your breath, save your words;

What makes you my judge and jury;

You see an image, not my beauty.

Whoever says mirrors don't lie,

When your very reflection is inverted.

Already lost

I don't know how I'm holding it together

The cluster of mismatched pieces

I don't know how I'm still standing

Though I am limping all the way

I know you feel those too

The anger, the frustration, the pain and all others

But why do you pass it my way?

Do you think I'm unbreakable?

I wish I was,

I wish I could take everything you give.

But I am a weak thing,

I have to battle every day just to survive

And,

Every time I have to face the reality of life

I lose it

Every time you take your anger out on me

I lose it

Every time I hear the screams of your suffering

I lose it

But you see

Even with all these factors telling me to give up

I always had a reason to fight

But now,

I can't remember it anymore.

Many came before me,

Many have yet to come.

To profess a velleity,

To seek direction,

Standing right here,

Where you can see

The light of hope

Rising from the horizon.

Na hum khud se khush hain,

Na iss duniyaa ki rivazon se;

Fir v ussi ko leke age kyun badh rahe hain hum?

malum hai ki kuchh galat ho raha hai;

Jo samaj Humne banaya tha,

Usse humara hi dum ghut raha hai;

Fir bhi badlab se itna darte kyun hain hum?

Colour red

You think you can tame me

Just because this pendent of your name

Is hanging from my neck

You think I wouldn't cross the threshold

Just because the sound of my anklets

Are more loyal to you

You think my identity belongs to you

Just because the bangles I wear

Is marked by your name

You think I would obey you

As the commands of those Gods

Just because you coloured me red.

My love,

Come and get me

When I loose myself to my mind

Be my anchor

When the lines of sanity blurs

Listen to the silence

As you're the only one who knows the language

Never let me sink into the void