Imagine This Whole Post In The TikTok Text To Speech Voice.

sorry pal but no teenagers are clammering to play this dinosaur-age obscure game. the people posting about lacroix being a studmuffin have careers and are 40

Fool

‼️ BLOOD, DEATH/?/ ‼️

"Engulf oneself in silence"

Obsessed with vampires but specifically when they're really pathetic

I'm so sorry y'all I'm not even a part of the fandom idk if it's even accurate 😭

(324) Your name is Escapement. You picked it yourself, because when there's nobody else to assign significance to your existence, you might as well do it yourself.

You are a Decepticon vehicon.

You don't know much, but, contrary to what your commanding officer reckons, even vehicons do know some stuff. For instance, here's a list of vital information you knew this morning:

Life is not fair.

Extenuating circumstances, second chances and begging for your life are privileges for officers only. You're a grunt, so failure means death. The end.

Any mission to destroy Optimus Prime is a suicide mission from the start.

The Decepticon war machine doesn't pay you to ask questions or backtalk. (They don't pay you at all.)

And by midnight, you also know some totally new but equally vital information:

When Megatron assigns you a mission to kill Optimus Prime, you are absolutely, categorically, not actually meant to kill Optimus Prime.

But it's too late to be learning new information now, isn't it? Even your CO looks pitying when he tells you to report to Megatron for your reward...

I fucking hate hanging out with Tzimisce because some of them will be so fucking sexy and then they'll bring this guy into the room like "This is my Grandsire Joe Yogurt".

Transformers Prime is a series about the dangers of drugs through showing how Starscream is slowly going crazy because of them.

Maybe this is crazy and unhinged thing to do but I sometimes assign people I know to the vampire clans (of course without telling them) and explain some of their actions to myself based on it, like "oh this guy is so pretentious and always mentions how his family was Polish nobility before the soviets, typical Ventrue behaviour" or "I know what you are, an art student with penchant for weird sculpture and anatomical oddities", or our local gothic witch bars, book stores and cafés in the city center which I presume is Tremere chantry undercover, is there any hope for me.

Also wanted to add something a month later

I honestly enjoy the Fledgeling as a character, truly. They have very limited background options, and even less of a personality – mostly because they have yours – but what little they have is a lot of fun to watch. They seem to be pretty chill, having a sense of humor (pretty sick, mostly), sometimes even empathy, depending on their humanity level, but, eh, sometimes the game is kind of forcing you to be edgy or react super chill and cool in the situations, where most freshly Embraced people would be screaming and shitting their pants.

It honestly always baffled me why VTMB just INSISTS the player to be an edgelord, sometimes to the point of cringe (even with taking in account having a Beast inside you), but even when you're playing a high-humanity vampire you're almost forced to be unnecessary rude to people like Gary or Imalia right away, even if you don't want to, and then I realized something.

We're playing as a young person in their twenties in 2004. It's a millennial.