I Fucking Hate Hanging Out With Tzimisce Because Some Of Them Will Be So Fucking Sexy And Then They'll

There's something... deeply unserious in how we collectively view Sebastian LaCroix in contrast of how he might've actually been based on his actions

Because everyone agrees that this man just radiates The French Gay™ atmosphere 7 miles around his tower, right? Well, the only instances of him having sex in the lore were with women: Jeanette and (possibly) Ming Xiao (based on Malkavian PC lines to her, though it's questionable)

So it's possible that while the White Wolf intended to make him the generic straight European man, we, deciding as a fandom, that he can't be anything but a walking fruit salad, missed one crucial point about his character: it actually doesn't matter what he was, because first and foremost

LaCroix is just a slut. And that's beautiful ⚰️💥

Ngl sometimes, if you like Shadowfaerie/Eldershadow, you can feel almost like a Gaylor because tHE HINTS, THEY'RE DROPPING THE HINTS EVERYBODY and then you just sober up, looks at these «connectors» between them again and it's just straight up the most delusional made up bullshit a man ever saw

Can you draw elder fairy? He's my favorite cookie

OLD MAN

Finally somebody who treats him like it's supposed to

lacroix.png

*Putting him in my pocket* *Putting him in a dollhouse of the Venture Tower* *Feeding him little snacks (my Santino and Michael PNGs)* *Picking him up and putting him back where he started every time he runs towards the Ankaran Sarcophagus, like I’m trying to stop my cat from eating a piece of plastic off the floor*

kitten I’ll be honest the finality of everything in this world haunts daddy like a second shadow

Thinking obsessively about a FNAF hurt/comfort fix-it AU where Jeremy not only survives the Bite of '87, but also remains lucky enough to retain the ability to function normally and come out of the story relatively unscathed, and Mike, who ran away thinking he killed Jeremy, having drawn him into his family machinations, falls into the hands of the Foundation from the YouTube series MD-PTV, where Jeremy finally finds him after years of searching for him in different cities and states, Michael is shocked to see 30 years later his high school sweetheart, who hasn't forgotten about him not for a moment and who was never able to let go or replace him and searched for him his entire life

They reunite and Jeremy refuses to leave the Foundation and lives in a chamber with Michael, helping them in the investigation of MCI and the search for Springtrap, in the end all of them are breaking free after all and the story continues as in the canon, but in Pizzeria Simulator Michael leaves from a burning building with Jeremy, who convinced him that he could still live at least part of his life happily and with him; they move into his house, Jeremy helps him take care of himself, taking into account all the conditions of his decomposing body, they get several cats, Mike finds part-time work as a designer (additionally, Agent Crane visits them from time to time) and they even fulfill Mike’s dream of going on vacation a couple of times and they live happily ever after is there any hope for me

I'm so sorry y'all I'm not even a part of the fandom idk if it's even accurate 😭

Maybe this is crazy and unhinged thing to do but I sometimes assign people I know to the vampire clans (of course without telling them) and explain some of their actions to myself based on it, like "oh this guy is so pretentious and always mentions how his family was Polish nobility before the soviets, typical Ventrue behaviour" or "I know what you are, an art student with penchant for weird sculpture and anatomical oddities", or our local gothic witch bars, book stores and cafés in the city center which I presume is Tremere chantry undercover, is there any hope for me.

meme.

original screenshot by @mynonsenseistingling (thank you!)

Additionally: okay, so now Manwë Cookie dies, does it mean we're allowed to make angst with them?

Maybe it's a weird take but Shadow Milk Cookie and Elder Faerie Cookie OBVIOUSLY look like a divorced couple because they interacted like one

I really don't know what happened between them, but for someone as wise and reserved as Elder Faerie to repeat in almost every line something like «no, don't listen to him» or «no, shut your mouth, no, no, stop talking» seemed really strange to me and then I realized this lmao.