Yummy

Toughen up buttercup... I remind myself of this from time to time!

It’s supposed to be a special day for him, I see that I’m not a part of this, ok I’m learning.

I was a good friend to him, I brought him in to my home, my family, my friends. I let him cry and hurt and tried to help him through his divorce. I got close with him. I thought we were best friends, then one day just it’s like I’m this scum that he can’t be around per his X ya know, I would’ve told my X to get fucked. Then he treats me different. Don’t seem to worry about different, I could never be so cold. I hope that losing me as a friend is what he wanted cause he fucking got it!

Haven’t posted in a while, my life is so hectic right now. And I saw him today, 6 months of nothing then outta the blue he messaged me, I think we have a bond because we both got hurt around the same time and we held one another together. I don’t fully understand why it went the way it did….. I’m just glad to have you back in my life….. maybe we can help one another again!!!

Why?

“You held me underwater and asked me why I could not breathe.”

— E. Grin, toxic. (via thoughtkick)

So…. I’m still trying to make this marriage to work. I feel like he doesn’t ever want to work through anything, I feel like every time we get into an argument he does something that pulls us even further apart, then God forbid if I bring up anything about the argument because then I’m just bitching, well fuck, we yet to work through the last 5 arguments. So nothing ever changes except when it gets worse…. So QUESTION???

The last situation was, me off my psych meds for like 4 days and that alone is my head going a million miles a min, so I’m a basket case anyways. My aunt had passed away, so it’s the day before her memorial. We were close, I took care of her, up until about a year ago and her son was able to get them a place. Anyways, so the day before my husband happens on on some xans and they help tremendously when my psych meds are missed, and I had a really bad week so I was in between scripts, so for starters he ask where I put them said he was gonna get two of them then leaves with all of them, with me going through what I was, and him to do that, it made me feel like he could give two fucks about me. So if that wasn’t enough he doesn’t get home til after 3 in the morning. I mean it’s everything before me always. I’m done I can’t even finish this story I just want to be able to let it go!!! I can’t do this anymore….. he’s evil I couldn’t treat my worst enemy as shitty as he does me at times. I’m drown to him anymore, I don’t want to be drown to him anymore. I just want it to be over!!!

Facts, smh

So true

“I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.”

— Jack Kerouac (via quotemadness)

RIP Daddy! I love you, it’s been 27 years and nothing is any easier about this day…. I miss you so much!