If You Wanna Do You Ima Do Me!

I don’t understand people, feels like I’m different from everyone else. People are so fake and treat people that have ran over them, hurt them, almost destroyed them, better than they do the one in a million friend that had their back through any and everything.... really... smh!

So, I’m thinking that things with my husband are always gonna go the same path, no matter how much I work on myself or how much I change up things I do…. I always fall into thinking that we are doing better, and he’s actually not talking to me like shit daily, that he actually wants me around, then bam, I get hit with reality. We are home and he’s in his building like always and I’m in my room/0ffice/closet, whatever, and he is texting a friend asking him to go to the bar…. Damn if we’re doing well, and I’m home doing nothing special and so is he, then why would he texting friends asking if they want to hit up a bar, which would probably end up being Hooters which is absolutely fine, it’s not like that’s the part that bothers me. We are at the house a lot together, but we never talk, hang out or for the most part even eat together. This is not the way I want my relationship to be anymore, I want to be with someone that has time to do whatever periodically, and wants to do things with me. Not go drink with friends. If we spent time together, actually in one another’s company, then I wouldn’t care if he ran off with a buddy every now and then, I don’t want to spend 24/7 with him, I’m not a controlling person, I guess call me needy, I just want to feel wanted from time to time, Or ever. Right now I feel like I am dropping everything for him to do whatever he wants or needs me to do, slacking on my work and responsibilities, worrying about shit like how bad I’ve got to get an oil change, reminding myself that I need to put a little antifreeze In here, is my tire pumped up, and so on, when just for the simple fact that I am his wife, and knowing that I’m using my moms car, the circumstances as to why, he should have already at least attempted to help me with or get the vehicle things accomplished. It’s always 99 % of the time about himself, and tbh, I have no guarantees that anything that helps him or benefits him, does anything for me at all. I know of many times him coming in to money or him winning money, and we were together, well I’d be lucky if I ever knew period. It’s only gotten worse than better so wtf is wrong with me, then the minute I get myself to a point to be able to let go, he’s automatically totally different and makes me think it’s gonna different and I automatically feel guilty and like if I leave or ask him to go then Im wrong. I’ve always heard that ex’s are ex’s for a reason….. what is really the worst part of it all is that I am not brand new. I know what reality is, I just always think that it’s gonna be better….

If you love her, show her don’t tell her, actions speak so much louder, if she complains when you’re home late, when she is ill with you when you make plans and don’t include her until you make sure it’s ok with ever one else. She is yours she loves you. She needs to know this back, not by words or assumptions. Put her on a pedi stool and see what all she does for you.... just an idea...

Smh!

So true!

I’ve been almost a week without him. He made it look so easy to walk away. I’m not sure if I ever meant anything to him at all, at this point I don’t want to know. I just want to forget about him. Close that chapter in my life. I’ve been through this like 3 times, the other 2 men both ended up regretting their disicissions, so not only did I have to get over them, then after I was at the point of over it and no more pain, then I had to be the one that said no when they want to try again. That whole not knowing what you have til it’s gone is bullshit. When something is special to me it doesn’t just get old. Some people want to have that moment to see someone that hurt them, hurt. I don’t want to see anyone hurt... I don’t want him to ever want me back. I’m just ready to be over this and feel better!

Had to repost this is soooo me

50 posts!

I think I’m over it! Not seeing him definitely helped. I feel a lot better. I feel like I’m kinda free. Not that he held me down because I made my own choices. I accept that. Fake is what it is, FAKE! I kept it 100! So my conscience is clear. I’m probably never gonna be more than a friend with benefits anyone else. He was my last hope as far as relationships go. I look back at what it was about him that I really missed and tbh, all of our time was spent with me trying to build him up and me working on his self esteem. I guess it worked. Mission accomplished! Time to move on anyways!!!

Why is it that every time I think that my guy and I are actually possibly going somewhere in the twenty something year old relationship we have I get slapped in the face with the reality that we’re never gonna change, Happiness is just not in our cards for us. I feel like he is only nice to me when he has something that he wants to do something or he wants something from me. Reality hurts so bad. I want to just walk and be done......