Emrysslowlylosestheirshit - Emrys Snow

MY FAVORITE COTTAGE CORE RECIPES PART 2

Okay I lovvvvveee doing this types of posts for three reasons. Number 1, it gives other creators time to shine for their hard work, 2. I get to eat and try new recipes from different kitchens, and three, they are just fun to write.

Easy, Lazy, Potato Soup

Eith-ne’s peach crumble

Whole Wheat Honey Apple Bundt Cake

Apple Cinnamon Sugar Pull Apart Bread

Restaurant style white queso dip

Cherry jam

Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars

1930′s cream cake 

Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Perfect Homemade Garlic Bread

Pretzel pigs in a blanket recipe

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

Thank you so much for looking though this posts!

Erin felt her blood pumping through her body as she tried to jog to the schooner. Her head was fuzzy, and all she could see was them. Her lungs filled with air she couldn’t breathe and she clutched her chest. Gunshots and cries rang out around her but she couldn’t hear them. Get to the ship, she thought. If you don’t get to the ship they're dead.

From on the roof, Jesper spotted her stunning towards the dock, and moved to pick off anyone that tried to attack her.

“There!” Jesper yelled, hoping someone would go help the Shadow. Wylan was the only one who heard him, and looked to see Erin getting closer. Sweat covered her face and it looked like she’d been crying. Erin clumsily pushed past Rotty, who was helping Wylan keep the shooters back.

She staggered over the ship, grabbing the ropes that kept them from floating off.

Untie the ropes, lift the anchor, fly the sails. She repeated it in her head like a mantra. Rope, Anchor, Sails.

She hadn’t touched a ship since… well since she came to Ketterdam. Her heart was pounding faster than Jesper could shoot, and she felt her stomach rise. Erin froze as she tried to lift the anchor, her hands touching the cold water.

I’m drowning. Where is the surface? I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe—

“I got it”

Rotty pulled the anchor up for her. His voice broke Erin out of her trance for the moment. She looked around, realizing everyone was on board and they had left the harbor. Matthias was the only one on deck, throwing up over the side.

Erin sank down to the floor of the ship, shutting her eyes. This is not the Cardea. This is not the Cardea. You will not drown, you will not drown. It took everything she had to stand back up, placing her feet on the railing and hoisting herself up the rope rungs to reach the sails. She gagged as she looked down. Even from his place on the deck, Rotty could tell she was trembling. He disappears below deck, looking for something.

The Shadow pulled the sails down and out, the boat picking up speed. It gave her a rush, and for a moment she enjoyed the wind in her face. Then she vomited.

“Watch it!”

Kaz looked up from the deck, scowling. He looked like shit. Blood splattered on his face and clothes, his usual sheened back hair in his eyes. Erin didn’t respond, shimming down the rope and placing her feet on solid ground.

“I thought you were a sailor.” He grumbled, stepping around the liquid on the deck. He gripped the railing, obviously queasy himself.

Erin held onto the rope

“I said I had been sailing. There’s a difference.”

Now that she was close enough to the edge, she saw her reflection in the water. It flickered between the mess she was now, and the scared girl she was. She felt sick again and covered her mouth, shaking. Kaz glanced at her.

“You need to be faster. If you had been gone any longer we’d have been screwed” he said coldly. Underneath his demeanor, she could’ve sworn there was concern in his eyes.

“Wouldn’t have to worry about it if you hired a damn crew” Erin grimaced as water splashed her.

“I didn’t think I needed one. Clearly I was wrong. You can barely stand without getting sick.” He scoffs

Erin glares at him, sweat dripping from her chin. If he noticed, he wasn’t letting on. She roughly pushed past him and up to the wheel, trying to think about anything other than the unforgiving water. Kaz was upset about something and followed her.

“Do you understand me? If you falter we all die.” He raises his voice slightly. Erin flinches, for the first time since they’ve known each other. That, he notices.

“Erin.” His voice is taught.

“I’m perfectly aware of the situation.” She responds.

“Then act like it”

Erin clutches the wheel tighter. She’s angry. She’s not sure why, maybe Kaz’s attitude had been too much. He didn’t seem to care about how she felt, of being on the sea made her feel. Erin’s face falls into a dark glare.

“You’re tardiness almost got us all killed and if you get sick while piloting the ship-“

“I know!” Erin yelled. She whipped her body to face him. Kaz merely raised an eyebrow, expecting her to continue. She wasn’t sure where she was going with this, her breathing was labored.

“Why are you acting like this is my fault. You didn’t have to be first mate”

That pissed her off. “First mate?? I am the only mate. I am the only person on the godforsaken ship that knows how to sail, or navigate, or anything that will get us to Fjerda.”

Kaz’s face remained unemotional. He glanced up seeing Jesper come up from the cabin. The sharpshooter looked at Erin and his eyes widened in concern

“Erin? Erin are you ok? Saints Kaz, what did you say to her” Jesper glared at his friend. Kaz shifted his weight.

“Reminding my Shadow that we’ll be fish food if she’s late again.”

Jesper puts his arms around Erin, who was clearly not hearing their conversation. He felt her shaking, and bet that Nina could hear her heart beat, even from below deck.

“She’s having a panic attack Kaz”

Jesper leaned down and looked at Erin. He tried to run the dried blood from her face.

“I’m fine” was all she could say. From behind her, Kaz clenched his jaw. He wasn’t quite sure how to feel. Upset he didn’t notice or upset she could be affected so easily. It’s not like he had a place to speak, it took most of his strength to not go running to the rail and throw his breakfast up.

“You are not fine. What happened at the harbor? You looked like you’d been running,” Jesper asked. Erin’s breathing calmed slightly and she was able to speak again.

“There were too many of them- I led five, no six of them down an alley. There wasn’t an exit.”

“And then?”

Jesper thought of Erin as a capable girl. Her shadows were not something to be on the wrong end of, but six men? He wasn’t sure how she made it out alive.

“And then I…. Then I-“

“Spit it out” Kaz said from his place at the wheel. He was growing impatient with her stuttering

“I cut them.”

Kaz looked over at her. The Cut. He’d never seen her do it, but from description of those that survived attacks from the Darkling, an infamous shadow summoner, he was sure he didn’t want to. He glanced at Jesper and the two of them made eye contact. There was a reason he’d never seen her do it, much like how he’s never taken his gloves off.

He stood unwavering in his place, watching Jesper comfort her. Part of him wanted to hold her too, and part of him wanted to strangle himself for thinking that. Kaz turned on his heels and departed to the cabin, needing to clear his head.

homemade oatmeal cream pie cookies

FOR THE COOKIES

1 cup unsalted butter softened or margarine

3/4 cup firmly packed light brown sugar

1/2 cup granulated sugar

2 large eggs or 2 tablespoons ground flax seed mixed in 5 tablespoons water or nut milk

1 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

3 cups quick or old fashioned oatmeal

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon salt

FOR THE CREAM FILLING

3/4 cup unsalted butter or margarine softened

1 3/4 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted

1 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract or other icing flavor (maple is also good!)

1/2 tablespoon oat milk

cream butter or substitute and sugar together first, mix wet batter ingredients together and then incorporate the dry mixed ingredients slowly and drop onto a cookie sheet in 2 tablespoons round balls and bake at 350F for 15 minutes

for icing cream together butter and confectioner’s sugar for 5 minutes until fluffy then add desired flavoring and oat milk

people who use guns are pussies. i just throw bullets really fast

Baked Cheesecake Donuts

For the doughnuts:

½ cup warm water

1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

2 ¼ teaspoons (1 packet) instant yeast

4 large egg yolks

1/3 cup (65 grams) granulated sugar

2 ½ (319 grams) cups all-purpose flour

¼ teaspoon fine salt

4 tablespoons (57 grams) unsalted butter, at room temperature

¼ cup heavy cream

For the filling:

8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature

¼ cup heavy cream

¼ cup powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

For the topping:

¾ cup (150 grams) granulated sugar

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

2 tablespoons (28 grams) unsalted butter, melted

Preparations:

Make the doughnut dough:

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook, combine the water, zest, vanilla, yeast, eggs, and sugar. Gradually add in the flour then salt, mixing until absorbed. Add the butter and cream and beat on medium speed for 6 to 8 minutes, or until a smooth sticky dough forms. Remove the dough to a lightly greased bowl, cover, and let rise until doubled in size, about 1 to 1 ½ hours.

For the cheesecake filling:

Meanwhile, make the filling.

In a medium bowl using an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese, cream, sugar, and vanilla until light and fluffy.

Finish the doughnuts:

On a lightly floured work surface, roll the dough out to about ½-inch thickness. Using a round cookie cutter, cut out 6 rounds from the dough. Place on a large parchment-lined baking sheet spacing far apart. Cover and let rise until puffy, about 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 350°F. Bake the doughnuts for about 10 minutes, or until golden brown and puffed. Let cool enough to be handled.

In a shallow dish combine the cinnamon and sugar for the topping. Dip each warm doughnut in the melted butter, the coat in the cinnamon sugar.

Remove the cream cheese mixture to a piping bag fitted with a long filling tip. Insert the tip into the side of a doughnut and squeeze the filling inside to fill. Repeat for the remaining doughnuts. Top each doughnut with a dollop of the cream cheese mixture then drizzle with jam.

Doughnuts are best served the day they’re made.

Raspberry Cheese Babka Swirl

Ingredients:

Note- this recipe makes 2 loaves!

For the dough:

8 oz warm milk not boiling

2 packets of Active Dry Yeast ¼ oz each or 4 ½ teaspoons instant yeast

½ cup granulated sugar

3 large eggs

2 tablespoons vanilla extract

5-5 ½ cups flour plus more for dusting

½ teaspoon kosher salt

½ cup butter at room temperature

vegetable oil for dough

For the filling:

2 8 oz bar regular cream cheese softened

2 large egg yolk

3 tablespoons granulated sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

½ cup raspberry jam or any other jam (recipe for it)

Directions:

In a large microwaveable bowl, heat the milk for 1 minute, 30 seconds at a time. If you are using a mixer, heat the milk in a measuring cup and transfer it to the mixing bowl. Add in the yeast and let it sit for 10 minutes until frothy.

Add in the sugar, eggs, and vanilla extract, and gently whisk to combine. Using the dough hook attachment, start adding in the flour one cup at a time mixing as you go. If you find the dough is coming together nicely after the 5th cup, then you can stop there. If it is still a little sticky, add the extra half cup of flour.

Add the salt into the last cup of flour and mix or knead until incorporated. Add in the softened butter and mix again until incorporated evenly. Continue mixing or kneading for 5-6 minutes, you may have to sprinkle some flour on your work surface so that the dough doesn’t stick. The dough is ready when it is no longer sticking to the surface and it is smooth and uniform throughout.

Place the dough back in the bowl used for mixing if you were kneading by hand. Pour 1 teaspoon oil around the dough and cover the bowl with a fresh tea towel. Leave it to rise to double it’s size for at least 1 hour or place in the fridge overnight.

Prepare the filling- in a small bowl combine the cream cheese, yolk, sugar, and vanilla and mix until combined evenly. Set aside and grab the jam.

Allow the dough to come to room temperature if it was stored in the fridge. On a lightly floured surface, cut the dough evenly in half and roll one portion out into a rectangle about 12” x 16” It can be smaller than that, you just want to make sure you have a rectangle shape.

Spread half the raspberry jam over the dough leaving a 1” border around the sides. Next spread half the cheese filling on top of that. Try not to mix the two if you really want to get the pink color, but it’s ok if you do a little bit!

Now starting from the long side, the side closest to you, start rolling the dough all the way up to the top border. It should now look like a log, like when you are making cinnamon buns, right before you cut them. Pinch the two ends of the log together and then with one hand on each end, twist the log as much as you can. Then fold it over so the ends touch, (like an upside down U) and do the same thing, twisting the ends in opposite directions. Kinda like a braid but with only 2 strands.

Spray a loaf pan with non stick spray and place the babka inside. Repeat the above steps with the other half of babka dough. Let the babkas rise for another half hour on your counter. Preheat your oven to 350° F and bake for 25- 30 minutes until golden brown.

Homemade Raspberry Jam

Ingredients:

2 ½ cups fresh raspberry

1 ¼ cups sugar

1 lemon, juiced

Directions:

In a medium saucepan add all your ingredients and over medium heat bring the fruit to a boil.

Stirring frequently, allow the fruit to boil for 20 minutes until the fruit starts to thicken. Remove from the heat and place a small dollop on a cold saucer. Push your finger through the dollop and if it feels gel-like and wrinkles then the jam has reached setting point. If it isn’t ready then return the pan to the heat and boil for another five minutes before testing again.

Ladle immediately into sterilised jars leaving 2 cm from the top and seal immediately with a screw top lid (lasts 3 months in the freezers, a few months in the cupboard)

Fresh Strawberry and Cream Cheese Danish

INGREDIENTS:

2 sheet Puff Pastry dough, thawed

8 ounces Cream Cheese, softened

1 tsp Vanilla Extract

½ tsp Almond Extract

4 Tbsp Sugar

1 ½ cup Fresh Strawberries, sliced

1 Tbsp Cornstarch

1 Egg + 2 Tablespoons water, whisked for egg wash

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking sheet.

In a small bowl, mix together the strawberries and corn starch. Set aside.

On a lightly floured surface roll out thawed puff pastry into a 12×9″ rectangle. Cut in half lengthwise, yielding 2 4-½” strips. Cut those two strips crosswise into thirds, to yield six 4×4 ½” pieces.With a knife, score ½” border around the edge of each piece of puff pastry. Use a fork to make five or six pricks into the dough within the border of each piece. This will help keep the middle of each piece from rising.

In a bowl, stir together softened cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla and almond. Spoon about 2-3 tablespoons of mixture into the middle of each piece of dough and spread around evenly, ensuring the mix stays within the borders.

In the middle of the cream cheese, add a couple of spoonfuls of strawberries into the middle.

Bake for 18-20 minutes, on the middle rack and rotate the baking sheet half way through baking. Remove from baking sheet and cool on a wire rack. Serve warm or room temperature. Sprinkle with powdered sugar before serving. Shave chocolate over the top as well, if desired.

I figured I might as well post this here

Hello??? Wilson gets with Cutthroat Bitch?? I hate that woman since the beginning I'm going to vomit-

screaming crying throwing up

Wilson sketch