Matthew Koma - Suitcase

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) - Michel Gondry // Tonight I Can Write… - Pablo Neruda // The Worst Person in the World (2021) - Joachim Trier // A Pearl - Mitski // Fleabag (2016-2019)

the hardest thing about poetry

is honesty.

how do i give words to the

interior of my soul

and then put it out for

the entire world to see?

knowing that there are

blurry faces i see everyday 

but don’t really talk to

who will remember my poems

the next time they look at

my face and think-

this is what she feels,

this is what she hides.

so, here is a confession 

as the new year is upon us:

much of what i write isn’t honest,

it isn’t me.

my poetry is not me.

if you want to find me,

if you seek what i hide,

look carefully in the spaces

between the words,

in the pauses and the hyphens.

search for me in the white in between

the black print, 

in all the unexpressed

in the midst of the art.

even at my best,

find me in the silence

bursting between the 

adjacent syllables,

then don’t just look,

hear,

listen to what one word 

whispers to the other,

how they acknowledge the unsaid

by leaving space for it on the screen

to exist

then don’t just hear,

smell,

breathe in the vaguely musky scent

of all the letters that never made it

on to the screen in front of you

because i pressed backspace,

either because they didn’t really 

say what i really wanted to 

or because they said it a little too well.

then when all this is done,

feel it.

understand

that this is why in school

you were taught four different interpretations

for a single line and although

that might exasperate you,

this is why a poem is more than

the sum of the words that

it consists of,

this is the reason why the words

you read on paper and on your screen

will never be where the 

true meaning of the poem lies.

but the truth sits there

squeezed in between all the noise,

patiently waiting,

somehow always the winner

of this game of

literary hide and seek.

but now,

if you want to,

at least you know where to find it.

“Got me up all night”

— J Cole

hipster blog

-5

Do you wanna know how many times I tore myself apart cause you’re not here

Stone sour (via cupids-chokehold)

if you're a student at all, please take care of yourself. you don't need to compete with your classmates for who slept the least or who drank the most coffee. eat breakfast and go to sleep a little earlier. lay off studying for a night and do something nice for yourself. your body and brain will thank you.

By ryancphoto

4AM THOUGHTS

feeling very inspired right now. I woke up at 3am randomly but i remembered that i hadn’t listened to Meek Mill’s new album yet so i got out of bed (while trying not to wake my daughter) and went to the bathroom to listen. and i listened to every word all the way thru and it left me inspired writing this at 4am. I also read this article about things i should avoid as an aspiring artist and i realized i do 3 out of the 5 things. Holding my work hostage, Not Being social enough, and finishing my Art halfway and then abandoning it. I gotta work on these things.

The whole “being social” thing was never my thing but lately i have been making attempts to do so, sometimes i’m left disappointed and others i am left surprised! It’s cool when you meet another creative who can relate to most of the things you go thru. As Far as finishing my Art goes.. i tend to not finish my art when someone doesn’t feel the same way about it as i do. I tell myself “ok well this isn’t worth anymore of my time, thank you.. next” (lol i like that song) And then i start on something new and repeat the same thing. Fun fact tho… i remember playing “Don’t” for like 5 people before it came out and nobody liked it how i liked it. So i deleted it from soundcloud. lol Shit as a matter of fact i remember when i played my first album Trapsoul to Fader and a couple of other Blogs or whatever and it was straight crickets in the room. 🦗🦗🦗i was like wow this shit is trash lol

Anyway, i know this is getting kinda lengthy but i say all of that to say this… believe in your “trash”.

Ok 4am Thoughts end now, gotta take Harley to school in a few hours. 💤💤💤