feeling very inspired right now. I woke up at 3am randomly but i remembered that i hadn’t listened to Meek Mill’s new album yet so i got out of bed (while trying not to wake my daughter) and went to the bathroom to listen. and i listened to every word all the way thru and it left me inspired writing this at 4am. I also read this article about things i should avoid as an aspiring artist and i realized i do 3 out of the 5 things. Holding my work hostage, Not Being social enough, and finishing my Art halfway and then abandoning it. I gotta work on these things.
The whole “being social” thing was never my thing but lately i have been making attempts to do so, sometimes i’m left disappointed and others i am left surprised! It’s cool when you meet another creative who can relate to most of the things you go thru. As Far as finishing my Art goes.. i tend to not finish my art when someone doesn’t feel the same way about it as i do. I tell myself “ok well this isn’t worth anymore of my time, thank you.. next” (lol i like that song) And then i start on something new and repeat the same thing. Fun fact tho… i remember playing “Don’t” for like 5 people before it came out and nobody liked it how i liked it. So i deleted it from soundcloud. lol Shit as a matter of fact i remember when i played my first album Trapsoul to Fader and a couple of other Blogs or whatever and it was straight crickets in the room. 🦗🦗🦗i was like wow this shit is trash lol
Anyway, i know this is getting kinda lengthy but i say all of that to say this… believe in your “trash”.
Ok 4am Thoughts end now, gotta take Harley to school in a few hours. 💤💤💤
“Being understood is a different type of drug.”
— Jay Vespertine
"I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life." -Virginia Woolf.
— an anonymous woman on coming to terms with being a lesbian in the 1950’s-60’s, from an interview with Deborah Goleman Wolf
USS Belleau Wood aflame on her aft flight deck following a Japanese kamikaze attack on 30 October 1944.
via reddit
Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own
https://www.instagram.com/p/BWzs7iMDXE_/
do u ever like feel so absurdly reluctant to do things. like it ain’t even procrastination or laziness anymore u just physically and mentally can’t bring yourself to do anything. u really, really just wanna binge watch youtube until your mind numbs completely or lie on the floor and stare into the abyss. and it’s not like u don’t have “motivation” or anything or even that u don’t want to do it, it’s just. u can’t. idk how ppl just. Do Things. get up and go at it. i have to have an entire existential crisis and like, watch a goddamn motivational film or something first before i do the smallest thing. and it’s june for fuck’s sake.
Honey brown eyes
I will spend a million lifetimes longing for you
For as long as I don’t have you, I will look for you in everything in this universe
Your mere existence inspires me, my mystical muse
I wronged you deeply, the stain of such mistake will always live beneath my skin
I lived eons despising myself for it, but what good could it be dreading the very being I wish you loved
How am I to be worthy of you while lacking love for self ?
I wronged you in a way I never want to wrong you nor anyone ever