Latest Posts by emithecloudcollector - Page 3

so glad that Rowling levels up the amount of stupid shit she does so nobody never feels guilty about not liking her, one would feel proud actually.

the bs just snowballs and it keeps ROWLING

pardon me im new here, imma just push this button- OH GOODNESS GRACIOUS, A REBLOG? how truly clumsy of me..

btw the thing she couldn’t ignore was someone calling her out for saying anti-depressants/hormone therapy are only perscribed by lazy doctors

every girl in the world is the prettiest girl in the world no i will not be elaborating

Joanne the plot of the book series which is the only reason you have any worth whatsoever hinges on the transformative power of unconditional love

ok but give me one good reason why you wouldn’t date Kermit the frog besides that he is a puppet and a frog

Boyfriend tells me I’m banned from fixing things around the house now >:(

A List of "Beautiful" Words: Brown

for your next poem/story

Adust - scorched, burned

Auburn - a moderate brown

Beige - of a color that is light grayish-yellowish brown

Biscuit - a light grayish-yellowish brown

Bronze - a moderate yellowish brown

Castaneous - of the color chestnut

Chestnut - a grayish to reddish brown

Cinnamon - a light yellowish brown

Cocoa - a medium brown color

Drab - a light olive brown

Infuscation - darkened with a brownish tinge

Khaki - a light yellowish-brown

Mahogany - a moderate reddish brown

Russet - a reddish brown

Rust - a strong reddish brown

Sepia - a brownish-gray to dark olive-brown color

Sorrel - a brownish orange to light brown

Tan - a light yellowish brown

Umber - a moderate to dark yellowish brown

Walnut - a moderate reddish brown

More: Lists of Beautiful Words ⚜ More: Word Lists

The fact that this is 80 fucking years ago but still just as relevant is terrifying.

A politician dies…

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

“So, you’re a politician…” “Well, yes, is that a problem?” “Oh no, no problem. But we’ve recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you’re free to choose where you want to spend eternity!”

“Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell??” says the politician. “Them’s the rules” Says St Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy dissapears… And awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he’s in Hell. Cautiously, he listens for the screams, sniffs the air for brimstone, and finds… Nothing. Just the smell of, is that fabric softener? And cut grass, this can’t be right?

“Open your eyes!” says a voice. “C'mon, wakey wakey, we’ve only got 24 hours!”. Nervously, he uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he’s in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite… And there’s a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini. “Who are you??” The politician asks. “Well, I’m Satan!” says the man, handing him the drink and helping him to his feet. “Welcome to Hell!” “Wait, this is Hell? But… Where’s all the pain and suffering?” he asks. Satan throws him a wink. “Oh, we’ve been a bit mis-represented over the years, it’s a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there’s extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It’s a beautiful day, and if you’d care to look outside…” Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course. “It’s one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there’s another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbour!” says Satan, answering his unasked question. So they head down in the lift, walk out through the glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes the man, as Satan signs autographs and cherrily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course are made up of every one of his old friends, people he’s admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he’s admired but died long before his career started. And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him. Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked, which descends into a food-fight when someone accidentally throws a bread roll at the next table (where Ghandi is having a game of truth-or-dare with Marylin Monroe). As everyone is falling about laughing and flinging breadsticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear… And they return to their penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After 6 hours of intense passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows, and falls into a deep and happy sleep… And is woken up by St Peter. “So, that was Hell. Wasn’t what you were expecting, I bet?” “No sir!” says the man. “So then” says St Peter “you can make your choice. It’s Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on”. “Well… I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I’d prefer Hell” says the politician. “Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!” Says St Peter, and clicks his fingers again.

The man wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other. “What’s this??” He cries. “Where’s the hotel?? Where’s my wife??? Where’s the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???”

“Ah”, says Satan. “You see, yesterday, we were campaigning. But today, you voted…”

I still think it’s objectively fucked how the world is built for morning people and if you wake up later than everyone else you’re seen as a malicious aberration of some sort. I am that but it’s not because I wake up at 11 fuck yourself

Wikipedia / Image from pinterest / Machiavelli / George Santayana / Thucydides / Image from pinterest / Abba - Waterloo / J. M. Barrie - Peter Pan / Fibonacci spiral / Catherynne M. Valente

SIR I FEEL EXPOSED AF THESE ARE SO REAL WHAT???

astrology observations 2 ☆。*。☆。

-saturn in the 4th house can mean an early loss of the father:(

-in my solar return chart 2023, moon square pluto was reallyyyy difficult. literally within 2 months of my new solar year i had been through a run of trauma and got a new mental health diagnosis

-ppl w aquarius & gemini venus live for the friends to lovers romances!!

-i feel when one has a jupiter-saturn conjunction, they will experience the energy of jupiter (the sign and house) more in their early years, and saturn later on (once they reach adulthood)

-super random buttt i’m watching love island usa szn 6, & leah is a triple leo!! i find this so fitting bc even the fact she goes on love island is accurate asf. and her hairrrr i’m telling u those w a lot of leo in their chart have the best hair.

-anyways

-i associate moon square neptune & venus square neptune in the natal chart with limerence. not that everyone with this placement has this issue, but it’s easy for them to attach themselves to the fantasy version of someone. the classic “i loved the idea of you”.

-there are so many talented actors/comedians with a gemini ascendant!! they are so expressive and natural at acting. ex. drew barrymore, sandra bullock, mindy kaling, will smith, matthew mcconauhgey etc.

frrr

me in five years when i still don’t have my life together:

I'm so glad I live in a world where there's Archive of Our Own

ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Photos of the Knuckles Porcelain Feve Figure, released in France between 1992-94. Feves are small figures you bake into cakes, and if you get one with your slice, you get a prize. Photo by genealogos. Support us on Patreon

In 1982, quite by accident, a zookeeper at Izu Shaboten Zoo in Shizuoka Prefecture discovered that capybaras absolutely loved soaking in hot water, and the practice of providing them an onsen, or traditional Japanese hot spring, was born. Source Massimo; video @yu_haradakei.

"I'm just a girl", "girl math", "girl dinner", "divine feminine energy", "bimbocore", "clean girl", "girl's girl", "girlfriend brain" SHUT UPPP!!! SHUTT THE FUCKKKK UPPPPPP !!!!

"Why didn't they just communicate?? They're so stupid!" Have you considered that communicating with someone you love and value and don't want to hurt is scary and that vulnerability takes practice and that perfect characters with perfect words make the most boring stories of all

nowhere else

Enjoyed the bubble sounds!

> "political science"

> look inside

> unscientific

People seriously underestimate the long term effects of constant loneliness

"why are you so weird?" Idk, maybe because being completely isolated while growing up has destroyed my brain and now I'm nothing more than a human-mimicking creature that bases all of my actions on what I think is normal human behavior rather than just doing things naturally

if i misplace my airpods one more time imma glue them to my ears and thats FINAL

(when i find them)

frrr

real

Posting this iconic piece of media that I just NEVER found online isolated except in an archived reddit thread

Sometimes Tumblr is a lot like trying to explain a toddler that you can't eat bugs and spiders because that's bad for you, and then someone shows up to lecture you about how spiders are a completely different class from insects, also you got "centipede" and "millipede" mixed up, so obviously you don't know anything about what you're talking about.

And if you try to answer like "do you want me to just let this kid just eat bugs or what", they'll get offended because correcting you about being wrong has nothing to do with implying that anyone would be eating bugs off the ground, obviously nobody is stupid enough to be doing that in the first place, that's a straw man and insulting to every group of people ever.

And then you look up at the other side of the yard and the toddler is there right back at it, slurping up centipedes like spagetti.

something something the poetry of science etc

I'm appalled. they crushed that fucking baby appalled im now realizing this is more gorey than I anticipated. tw