I Need Her So Bad

Sports car- ellie williams x reader

This story is based off the song Sports car by Tate Mcrae. If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing- ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:)

Warnings: MDNI 18+ Mature content. Emotional detachment, lust, sexual themes, smut, strap-usage (r receiving)

Summary: in which she took you for a ride

masterlist

She drove like she kissed—reckless, sharp, and impossible to forget.

The city lights blurred through the passenger window as Ellie floored it, her hand resting casually on your thigh, fingers tapping out some beat only she knew. You had told yourself you weren’t going to fall again, but here you were—burning for someone who didn’t promise anything. Someone who wouldn’t slow down.

You turned your head and caught her smirk as the engine roared. She looked like she belonged behind the wheel of something fast. Something dangerous. Something just like her.

“You okay?” she asked, like she didn’t already know the answer.

“Are you?” you shot back.

Her fingers pressed a little firmer into your skin.

“Come here,” she muttered, taking a sharp turn that made your heart stutter. She pulled into the back of an empty parking garage, shadows swallowing the car whole.

The world fell quiet.

She leaned over the console and kissed you like she was trying to leave a mark. It wasn’t gentle—never was with Ellie. Her tongue pushed past your lips, one hand threading into your hair while the other slid up beneath your hoodie. She dragged her nails along your ribs, and your hips shifted toward her without thinking.

“Climb over,” she said, voice low and commanding.

You didn’t hesitate. You straddled her lap, knees pressed to the leather seat, hands in her hair. She pulled your hoodie off in one clean motion, mouthing along your collarbone, biting when you whimpered.

Her hands were everywhere—rough, searching, greedy.

“Think I’m obsessed with you,” she murmured, dragging her mouth down to your chest, tongue teasing a nipple before she sucked hard enough to make you gasp. “Or maybe I just like the way you fall apart for me.”

You tugged at her shirt, exposing the ink that curled around her ribs. Your fingers skimmed the scars on her shoulder, the ones she never talked about. She shivered, but not from the cold.

“You always drive this fast?” you asked, voice thick.

“Only when I’m trying to outrun something,” she said, pulling a condom from the glovebox with one hand while kissing you breathless with the other.

Her jeans were undone in seconds. You pushed her back, straddling her again as she guided you down slowly onto her strap. The stretch made your head fall to her shoulder.

“Fuck—” she hissed, hands gripping your waist as you started to move. “Just like that, baby…”

The car smelled like sweat and sex and the faint scent of pine from the old air freshener swinging by the mirror. You rode her hard, chasing that sharp edge, watching her eyes darken as she lost herself beneath you.

Your name fell from her lips like a confession.

She came first, hands trembling, mouth open against your throat. You followed seconds later, collapsing against her as your heart raced like her engine.

You stayed like that for a moment. Silent. Breathing each other in.

But Ellie was already lighting a cigarette, window cracked, profile cold in the moonlight.

You leaned back, pulling your hoodie over your bare chest.

“You always leave after?” you asked, knowing the answer.

She looked at you. Quiet. Apologetic in that way that never changed anything.

“I don’t know how to stay,” she said simply. You nodded. Like always.

Because she was a sports car—built for speed, not forever.

And you? You were just trying to survive the ride.

Can u write reader and professor ellie taking care of Aurora while she’s on her period😭or like how they reacted and managed with her when she started being a teen

I love the professor ellie series!!💜💜

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ Ellie notices something’s off before Aurora even tells anyone—her daughter’s unusually quiet, subdued, curled up on the couch with a heat pack she likely snuck from the bathroom.

☆ She pauses mid-lecture grading when she gets a text from you: “Aurora got her period. She wants to talk to you too.” Ellie nearly drops her pen.

☆ Ellie rushes home, barely bothering to organize her research notes. She finds Aurora in bed, flushed and moody, and her heart breaks in the softest way.

☆ “My baby’s growing up,” Ellie whispers under her breath as she kneels beside Aurora’s bed, brushing her hair out of her face.

☆ Aurora is embarrassed, but Ellie makes it all scientific. She talks about hormones, menstruation as a biological marvel, how it’s a sign of health and maturity—her academic comfort zone.

☆ But behind the calm, Ellie is spiraling. She hugs you that night tighter than usual, muttering, “She was just in diapers. I remember the hospital smell.”

☆ Ellie becomes overly meticulous, ordering a dozen types of eco-friendly pads and period underwear. “We should get her a menstrual tracking journal. Actually, I’ll design one. I’ll code the app.”

☆ You catch her staring at Aurora’s baby pictures that night, eyes glassy. “She used to sleep on my chest every night,” she murmurs. “Now she barely wants a hug.”

☆ Ellie insists on giving Aurora a full menstrual health crash course—whiteboard diagrams, booklets she prints out herself. Aurora begs her to stop.

☆ “You are a miracle of biology,” Ellie tells Aurora proudly, cupping her face. “Do you understand how powerful this makes you?”

☆ She accidentally calls it Aurora’s “menarche” one too many times before Aurora yells from the bathroom, “Stop calling it that, Mom!”

☆ Ellie tries to make it celebratory. She buys her daughter her favorite dessert and a bouquet of red roses. Aurora is horrified. You laugh. Ellie sulks.

☆ At night, Ellie overthinks. “What if she gets cramps like you did? What if she misses school? What if the boys—”

☆ “I swear if a boy says something dumb to her, I will break the school board in half,” Ellie hisses to you while brushing her teeth.

☆ She starts leaving small care packages in Aurora’s room: chocolate, heat packs, handwritten notes that say “You’re stronger than you feel.”

☆ She writes in her research journal about it—“Transgenerational development of daughters: the maternal lens of biological transition.”

☆ Ellie pulls out your old pregnancy journals, the ones you kept when Aurora was in your belly, and reads them late at night.

☆ She becomes more protective than ever. Any eye roll from Aurora is met with quiet over-analysis. “Is it hormones? Did I do something wrong?”

☆ She talks to Arnold too. “Your sister might be more sensitive right now. You have to be patient. Gentle.” Arnold, chewing cereal, goes, “Okay. Can I still prank her?”

☆ Ellie insists on giving Aurora a key to a “quiet box” of supplies in her office, in case she ever gets her period at school. “Biological emergencies require strategic preparedness.”

☆ Ellie writes a personal letter to Aurora she hides in a journal: it’s emotional, raw, academic, filled with references to feminist theory and the sacredness of menstruation. Aurora won’t find it for years.

☆ She clings to you that week. Every time Aurora slams a door or retreats into music, Ellie comes to you like she’s been stabbed. “Tell me she still needs me.”

☆ Ellie creates a folder on her computer called “Aurora - Adolescence: Phase I.” It contains spreadsheets tracking patterns and emotional shifts.

☆ She’s emotional watching Aurora brush her own hair, apply lip gloss, and adjust her hoodie like a woman. “She looks like you,” she whispers to you.

☆ “It’s not just her growing up,” Ellie finally admits one night. “It’s the countdown. Soon she’ll be gone. It’s like…I’m losing time.”

☆ Arnold feels a little left out. Ellie is hyper-focused on Aurora, and he starts intentionally acting sillier to get her attention.

☆ He pretends to be sick so he can stay home too. Ellie sees right through it, but hugs him anyway and lets him stay.

☆ Ellie gives Arnold “brother missions”—small tasks like heating up Aurora’s hot water bottle or picking her favorite snacks.

☆ She builds his confidence by reminding him he’s the little man of the house—while also telling him, “Never assume you understand a woman’s pain.”

☆ Ellie starts a “boys growing up” project for Arnold—teaching him hygiene, boundaries, and how to talk about emotions. She pulls research from three parenting psychology journals.

☆ Aurora slaps his arm one day when he teases her. Ellie pulls them both aside for a long talk about mutual respect and hormonal volatility. They both groan in sync.

☆ Arnold is the first one to tell Ellie when Aurora starts crying at a commercial. “Mom, she’s leaking from her eyes again. Help?”

☆ Ellie starts planning more one-on-one time with Arnold, taking him to museums, science fairs, or just letting him help with her university lectures.

☆ Arnold asks if girls are going to be “weird forever.” Ellie gives him a 20-minute TED Talk. He regrets asking.

☆ Ellie sets up a whiteboard in the kitchen with color-coded schedules: Aurora’s cycle (secretly coded), Arnold’s soccer, your appointments. It looks like a military base.

☆ Ellie uses every chance to teach emotional awareness. When Arnold asks, “Is Aurora dying?” Ellie goes, “No, buddy. She’s blooming.”

☆ You notice that Ellie gets more clingy with Arnold too—like she’s subconsciously bracing for him growing up next. She kisses his hair constantly.

☆ Ellie insists they both watch “Turning Red” together. She ends up crying harder than Aurora or Arnold.

☆ Ellie buys a book titled “Parenting Emotional Teens and Tactical Preteens.” She highlights every other page and forces you to read it.

☆ When Aurora teases Arnold about still sleeping with his stuffed dino, Ellie snaps: “He can do that until college. Leave him alone.”

☆ You find her staring wistfully at a baby in the grocery store. “That smell. That tiny head. Look how the mother holds them,” she murmurs like she’s hypnotized.

☆ Aurora’s transition makes Ellie acutely aware of the passage of time. “It went so fast. I missed so much.”

☆ Ellie asks you, gently, cautiously, “Would you ever… want to do it again?”

☆ She starts bringing up embryo storage again—talking about the ones you froze during Aurora and Arnold’s IVF rounds.

☆ She even looks into donor matches, mapping out compatibility charts late at night with that hyper-focused intensity in her eyes.

☆ Ellie watches old videos of you pregnant. She pauses every time the camera pans to her—how young she looked, how in love.

☆ “We were just kids,” she says, her fingers tracing the laptop screen. “Look at how we looked at each other.”

☆ She imagines a third child—one more baby to hold, to raise slowly, to savor. “I’d do it better this time,” she tells you. “I’d be more present.”

☆ Ellie jokes about becoming a stay-at-home mom if you get pregnant. You laugh. She’s dead serious.

☆ She starts rubbing your stomach absentmindedly when you cuddle, her thoughts already drifting.

☆ Ellie dreams about it. She wakes up misty-eyed. “It was a girl this time,” she tells you, voice fragile.

☆ Aurora’s growth inspires nostalgia and longing. She keeps whispering to you, “Just one more. Let me love another one with you.”

☆ She buys a baby onesie at Target “just in case.” You find it hidden in her drawer next to her research notes.

☆ Ellie watches you with Arnold and Aurora and murmurs, “You were always the best mother. I want to see you do it again.”

☆ You catch her re-reading her pregnancy books, bookmarking milestones. She’s preparing mentally like it’s a dissertation.

☆ Ellie secretly writes a new lullaby on her guitar, just in case. She records it one night and labels the file “For Baby #3.”

☆ She visits the IVF clinic “just to ask questions” and comes back with brochures and a sticky note that says “viable chance.”

☆ She becomes softer with you—pulling you into her lap, caressing your skin like she’s trying to memorize you. “I still want everything with you.”

☆ Ellie starts drawing again—sketches of a crib, baby feet, a silhouette of you pregnant.

☆ One night, in bed, she lays her head on your chest and whispers, “If we start now… they’ll grow up with Arnold. We’ll still be young enough.”

☆ She starts romanticizing everything—your hands, your eyes, your voice—like she did when you first met.

☆ Ellie finds the notebook from when she proposed to you. She rewrites her vows in the back, silently renewing them.

☆ Her obsession with you resurfaces with full force—watching you like you're a miracle she can't believe she married.

☆ She spends entire evenings curled into you, fingers tracing the veins in your hands. “You’re the beginning and end of everything.”

☆ She gets lost in old photos—the ones where you’re pregnant, holding baby Aurora, laughing with milk stains on your shirt. She stares at you like you hung the stars.

☆ Ellie writes another letter—this one for you—filled with her dreams, her research, and her endless need to create a life with you again.

☆ “I’m not done building a life with you,” she tells you one afternoon, with coffee on her lips and love in her voice.

☆ Ellie becomes more tender, more deliberate—making tea for you without asking, massaging your back, memorizing your cycles like a ritual.

☆ Her obsession is quieter now—refined, deeper, rooted in love and years of growing together. But it burns just as fiercely.

☆ “Let’s do it,” she finally says one morning, her voice trembling. “Let’s make another little version of us.”

i love emily im sorry soo much,, do you think u could please write an ellie x reader based on the song night shift by lucy dacus?? i think is a good song to make a fic <3

night shift - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! thank you sm for the compliment! And yes it's literally is an amazing song for a angst fic! I hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song Night shift by Lucy Dacus, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:)

Warnings: sadness and cheating

Summary: In which you were the other women

wc: 1.8k + the lyrics

The first time I tasted somebody else's spit, I had a coughing fit

I mistakenly called them by your name

I was let down, it wasn't the same

I'm doing fine, trying to derail my one-track mind

Regaining my self-worth in record time

But I can't help but think of your other in the bed that was mine

The day Ellie Williams asked you out was truly the best day of your life.

It all started with small smiles, gentle touches and loving gazes. You knew from the first day you laid eyes on Ellie, that you wanted to be with her. And never in a million dreams did you think that you stood a chance with someone as beautiful such as Ellie.

You didn't regret asking her for her number. You didn't regret saying yes when she asked you on a date that day. But the more you think about it, the more realized maybe you should’ve said no.

"Hi I'm Ellie’s girlfriend, is she here today?" The girl asked with a smile on her face.

 oh.

Girlfriend?

Ellie was never mentioned anything about a girlfriend to you.

Fuck.

"Oh hey Cat" you heard Ellie’s voice from behind you. You turned around and you and the autumn brown haired girl made eye contact.

Ellie’s eyes widened when she saw you were talking to Cat, but her shock was soon replaced by her signature smirk.

"Hi babe" Cat greeted Ellie cheerfully "can we talk?" She asked. Ellie gave her a quick nod as she walked out from behind the counter. As Ellie and cat walked away she reached down to grab the girls hand and if felt like you've been stabbed.

You quickly excused yourself and you ran down the hall in the storage room where you and Ellie would always meet each other.

Holy shit.

She had a girlfriend? What? You thought she liked you?

You and Ellie were never official, but you went on dates. You held hands. You kissed her for fucks sake. You were the other women. Ellie didn't care for you as much as you thought. She was using you.

You heard the door handle of the storage room rattle. You looked up and you quickly wiped away your tears: "Ellie?" You questioned, with a hopeful voice.

"No it's me!" You heard Dina’s voice yelled back. "Ellie went home with her girlfriend so you'll have to take her shift"

You let out a sigh as you felt the tears flow freely once again.

 You were supposed to be mad at her. You were supposed to hate her. But you called out for her? You would never admit it out loud but you were actually waiting for her. You were waiting for Ellie to come and apologize and to say that this was all a misunderstanding.  You silently sat there crying.

 You were the other women.

Am I a masochist, resisting urges to punch you in the teeth?

Call you a bitch and leave?

Why did I come here? To sit and watch you stare at your feet?

What was the plan? Absolve your guilt and shake hands?

If you truly hated Ellie like you claimed you did, you wouldn't have opened your apartment door that night.

That one faithful evening in September, when you heard a knock on your door.

“Who the fuck could that be?” you muttered to yourself as you got up from bed rubbing your eyes.

You look over to your phone if see it's 1:00am. You yawned as you walked to the front door. You opened it and your eyes were met with the girl who broke your heart all those months ago.

 The girl you thought you would be spending the rest of your life with.

She looked at you, her normally neat hair was a messy, dark circles under her eyes.

god you thought you looked bad.

"What are you doing here Ellie?" You asked.

She could've come to you a long time ago and suddenly she shows up? What does she want? Does she want to get back together? Is she here to beg for forgiveness?

 "Jesse told me that you were serious when you said you wanted to work the night shift" she spoke, as she brought her right hand up to awkwardly scratch the back of her neck.

 You didn’t know if you wanted to punch her or kiss her.

 Ellie’s gaze fell down to her feet and the two of you were surrounded by silence.

Since when is it so quite at 1 in the morning?

"Why are you here?" You finally asked again.

Ellie looked up at you once again. She hesitated. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. The words weren't coming out.

‘she's so fucking pathetic’ you thought to yourself.

 "Are you here to apologize? To make yourself feel better?", you spoke again.

Ellie looked taken aback, her facial expression morphed into a face of confusion? Hurt? You couldn't tell.

"I love you-" Ellie started, you let out a laugh even before she could finish.

"If you loved me, why was I the other women?" You questioned.

Ellie fell silent. She stared at you. She was at a loss for words. How could you say such a thing? You knew nothing about her situation. You didn't know that she can Cat had been in a loveless relationship for years. You didn't know how much she loved you. You didn't know how alive you made her feel.

Ellie was brought back to reality when you spoke: "You can't even fucking speak to me".

You let out a sigh as you took a step back to close the door. Ellie’s large hand reached out to try and stop it, but you were too quick. You closed the door in her face. Ellie put her forehead against your front door as tears streamed down her cheeks. She heard your voice from behind the door:

"You are such a fucking bitch Williams"

Ellie turned away from your door, her hand gripping her shirt as she started sobbing.

Loud sounds of crying filled the quite streets of Jackson as Ellie stood at your door realizing that she lost you.

I feel no need to forgive, but I might as well

But let me kiss your lips, so I know how it felt

Pay for my coffee and leave before the sun goes down

Walk for hours in the dark, feeling all hell

"I think I should start working the night shift" you told Jesse one morning.

"dude I thought you hated it"

You went quite for a moment. You did hate it. But you couldn't stand working another shift looking at Ellie. Even being in her presence made your heart yearn for her. If feels like you've been starved for years without Ellie’s touch. And you fear that even if your finger just lightly touched her you'd lose your mind.

 You already felt guilty enough when you found out Ellie had a girlfriend, you didn't want to make a fool out of yourself by confessing your undying love to her.

You walked out of Jesse's office and into the locker room. Ellie was in there. You walked right past her, going to your locker you quickly pulled out your bag.

"Wait our shifts are starting right now, where are you going?" She questioned.

"I'm working the night shift from now on" you replied as you made your way to the door. You felt so cold hand grab your wrist and when you turned around and you were met with Ellie’s pleading eyes.

"If you work night shift I won't be able to see you" she spoke softly.

You forcefully removed your arm from Ellie’s grip.

"go see your fucking girlfriend"

You turned away from Ellie, walking to the door and you stopped. It was as if your feet were glued to the floor. You slowly turned around to face Ellie once again.

"I'll never be able to forgive you" you muttered softly and you looked at the girl you had so much love for.

"Please try" Ellie begged.

"I'll leave her" Ellie quickly reasoned with you, to make you stay.

You shook your head as you dropped your bag onto the floor. You made your way towards Ellie as you once again muttered “I can't fucking forgive you" as you wrapped your arms her neck, her lips soon crashed into yours.

The kiss was intense. You've been starved from Ellie, and this was your first taste in months.

Teeth crashing into each other, heavy breathes filled the room, and hands were roaming.

You pulled away and you looked at Ellie for the last time.

Her eyes blown wide, her lips swollen her chest rapidly rising.

 You once again moved from her grip as you picked up your bag.

You stood the door once more. Before you walked out the door you turned to Ellie one last time, giving her a small "I love you" was the last words she ever spoke to you.

Don't hold your breath, forget you ever saw me at my best

You don't deserve what you don't respect

Don't deserve what you say you love and then neglect

Now bite your tongue, it's too dangerous to fall so young

Take back what you said

Can't lose what you never had

You don't even know why you're upset. Why were you so fucking depressed over a relationship that never even happened?

All you do is fantasize over a relationship that wasn't even real.

What you could've been. And you know you were being delusional when you thought you had a chance with her, and yet you still fell for her.

But we all learn the hard way don't we?

You can't be sad over something that wasn't even yours to being with.

All you had to do was suck it up and get to work. You'd eventually get over Ellie. And you'd be happy again, right?

As much as you try to convince yourself, you aren't so sure you can see a happy life without Ellie.

The girl you thought was your soulmate.

You got a 9-to-5, so I'll take the night shift

And I'll never see you again, if I can help it

In five years, I hope the songs feel like covers

Dedicated to new lovers

"Are you sure you want to take the night shift?" Jesse asked you one last time.

"I'm sure" you replied

Even though you hated the night shift it got you away from Ellie. You didn't have to see her at your workplace. You don't have to constantly be reminded about what the two of you could've been.

"Remember Ellie will come in at 9 tomorrow" Jesse yelled as he walked out the front door of the Café. He gave you a small wave, as the bell chimed when the door finally closed.

"yeah I know" you yelled back.

You hoped that one day you'd stop working the night shift.

 And maybe, just maybe you'd be able to move on from Ellie.

But till then you'd rather torture yourself than to be in the same room as Ellie fucking Williams.

Authors note: guess who disappeared and whos suddenly back again? obviously me.... remember you are loved and to always be kind, my requests are always open

yours truly,

Zia<3

Idk if you're taking requests but if so can you write a kinda angsty fanfic where the reader is insecure asf about her looks and is jealous of bestfriend!Ellie because Ellie is so pretty. And as she's gotten older the reader has learned to be less jealous (or just suppressed the feeling) but like one day her jealousy is revealed when her and Ellie are drinking together and like ellie is shocked because she's always found the reader cute. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME 😋

Drunk Words, Sober Eyes - ellie williams x reader

Hi anon!! this idea sounds so cool!! i went back and forth between giving it a happy ending or a sad one. I wanted to kill off a character honestly. But on this rare occasion, let me write something happy lmao. lmk if you want another version:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: a little angst

Summary: in which you confessed

materlist

You’d never really hated Ellie.

But sometimes, being next to her felt like standing beside a lit match—close enough to burn, too far to be warm.

She was everything you weren’t. Confident. Effortless. The kind of pretty that people noticed without her trying. When you walked into a room together, you disappeared behind her glow like a shadow behind sunlight.

She didn’t mean to make you feel small.

But she did.

“God, you’re so dramatic,” Ellie laughed, flopping back on the couch with her third drink in hand. “I did not flirt with that guy.”

You rolled your eyes and took a long sip. Your face burned. “He literally tripped over his words when he saw you. I don’t blame him.”

Ellie raised a brow, cheeks flushed. “You’re being weird tonight.”

You forced a smile, eyes on the floor. “Just tired.”

That was a lie. You weren’t tired—you were cracking.

Cracking under years of silent comparison.

Of wondering if she ever looked at you the way you looked at her.

Of trying to be fine with being the best friend.

Three drinks turned into five.

And five drinks turned into the kind of honesty that stung more than alcohol ever could.

You were lying on Ellie’s floor, legs tangled in a blanket, the moonlight filtering through the half-open curtains. She was beside you, laughing at something stupid, lips glossy with whiskey and chapstick.

You watched her laugh and felt it again—that ache.

And this time, it didn’t stay quiet.

“You ever get tired of being... the pretty one?” you slurred, staring at the ceiling.

Ellie blinked. “What?”

You swallowed hard. The words came like a flood.

“I mean, I don’t blame anyone. You’re fucking gorgeous, Ellie. Always have been. It’s just—"

You choked out a laugh, bitter and small. "It’s hard sometimes. Being the... invisible one next to you.”

The room fell dead silent.

You didn’t dare look at her.

Ellie sat up slowly.

“You think you’re invisible?” she said quietly.

You shrugged. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t ask to be… perfect.”

“Jesus, I’m not perfect—”

“But you don’t get it,” you snapped. “You’ve always been the one people see. Even when you’re quiet, they feel you. I’ve spent years trying to be okay with being the second choice. The backup. The ugly friend.”

You buried your face in your hands. “God, I can’t believe I said that out loud.”

Ellie didn’t respond for a long moment.

And then—gently, almost shakily—she said, “You really think I don’t see you?”

You looked up, eyes rimmed with salt.

Ellie was staring at you like she’d never really looked before.

“I’ve had a crush on you since we were seventeen,” she said flatly.

Your heart stopped.

“What?” you breathed.

“I thought I was being subtle. I figured you weren’t into girls, or you just didn’t see me like that, so I never said anything.”

You stared at her, stunned. “Ellie…”

Her voice dropped, softer. “You’ve got this way of... pretending you’re fine even when you're screaming inside. You think no one notices, but I do. I see every flinch. Every forced smile. And I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.”

Your eyes welled up again—but this time, not from jealousy.

From shock. From relief. From finally being seen.

The next morning, your head throbbed, but your heart felt light.

Ellie made you coffee. She was quiet, her usual sarcastic wall softened.

“Do you remember what you said?” she asked, gently, sliding you a mug.

“Every word,” you admitted, clutching the cup. “I’ve never felt so stupid.”

She tilted her head. “Why?”

“Because it’s embarrassing to want something you thought you could never have.”

Ellie walked around the table and crouched beside you, hand on your knee.

“You already have it,” she said softly. “You just didn’t know.”

You blinked at her. And then—finally—you let yourself believe it.

It wasn’t all easy after that. You still had bad days. Still saw someone in the mirror who didn’t feel enough.

But Ellie never let you spiral alone.

She kissed your forehead when you hated your body. Held your hand when you felt like disappearing. Told you she loved your laugh, your eyes, your stupid sarcasm.

And every time she did, you started to believe her.

Little by little. Step by step.

Until the mirror didn’t feel so cruel anymore.

Until “pretty” didn’t have to mean her instead of you.

Until you stopped being jealous of Ellie…

And started being in love with her instead.

<3

Drunk texting - ellie williams x reader

this story is based off the song drunk texting by (name i will not mention) and Jhene Aiko. If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warning: Alcohol use, emotional angst, late-night texting, mentions of sex, unresolved feelings, soft heartbreak.

Setting: Modern College AU

Summary: After a night of drinking, a risky text is sent to Ellie — one that unravels buried feelings and turns their dynamic upside down.

Masterlist

1:58 AM

The party had long since blurred.

You were stretched across the living room couch, head tilted back, red cup dangling loosely from your fingers. Bass still pulsed faintly through the floor, though the crowd had thinned. You should’ve gone home. You should’ve stayed home.

But you were tipsy now. And stupid.

Which meant only one thing:

You were about to text her.

Ellie Williams.

Your ex. Or almost-ex. Or not-quite-anything that still managed to hurt like hell.

Your finger hovered over her name.

You hadn’t spoken in weeks—not really, not since that fight.

Not since you said you were done pretending.

She never said you weren’t.

She just... let you go.

But your chest was too heavy, your brain too slow, and your fingers too fast.

you:

you up?

Delivered.

Read.

Nothing.

You dropped your head back and shut your eyes.

This was a bad idea.

The last time you saw her was a month ago. Cold air. Hot tears.

You yelling in the middle of her apartment while she stood still, staring at you like you were a puzzle she couldn’t solve anymore.

“You don’t say how you feel, Ellie,” you’d snapped. “You don’t do anything until it’s too late.”

“You always want more from me,” she said quietly. “And I never know how to give it without ruining it.”

“I’m not asking for perfect. I’m asking for real.”

She didn’t stop you when you left.

But her hand lingered on the door longer than it should have.

2:14 AM

Your phone buzzed.

Ellie:

what do you want?

Your breath caught.

She was always like this—short, cautious. But she answered.

you, you typed. Then erased it.

you:

to talk

A pause. Three dots. Then nothing.

2:22 AM

Ellie:

you’re drunk

You:

so?

Ellie:

you only miss me when you’re not sober

you only remember how we felt when you can’t feel anything else

You:

that’s not true.

I miss you every fucking day.

That one stung. You knew it would. You meant it to.

Your phone buzzed again.

Ellie:

then why did you leave?

Your thumb hovered over the screen.

You:

because you never asked me to stay.

Silence.

You waited, heart racing, guilt settling like fog in your chest. Maybe that was too much. Maybe she’d block you. Maybe—

Ellie:

i didn’t know how

i still don’t

You blinked hard. The room spun.

You:

i’m outside

You didn’t even remember walking to her place. You just knew your hand was curled into a fist, knuckles lightly tapping her apartment door in the cold.

It opened slowly.

Ellie stood there in a hoodie and sweats, bare feet, eyes tired and red-rimmed. Like she hadn’t slept in days.

“You shouldn’t be here,” she said. Voice small.

“I know,” you whispered. “But I needed to see you.”

She stepped back. Just enough.

You walked inside.

The place looked the same—records on the floor, your old hoodie still slung over the back of the couch. You stared at it.

“You kept it.”

“I keep a lot of things I shouldn’t,” she said quietly.

You turned. She was watching you like you were a dream she couldn’t decide was good or bad.

“Why did you answer?” you asked.

Ellie’s throat bobbed. “Because I always do. Because I want to hate you, but I don’t. Because even now... I still think about you before I go to sleep.”

Silence stretched like a wound.

“I hate that you only come back when you’re drunk,” she whispered.

You stepped closer.

“I hate that it’s the only time I feel brave enough to.”

She didn’t pull away when you reached for her hand.

The couch was cold. Her body was warm. You sat beside each other in that too-familiar way, knees brushing, fingers playing with the hem of her sleeve.

“You think if we were better at talking, we wouldn’t have fallen apart?” you asked.

Ellie laughed softly. “No. I think if I’d told you how much I loved you, you might’ve stayed.”

You froze.

She never said it back when you did. Not once.

Now you didn’t know what to say.

She turned her head. Her green eyes were glassy. Raw.

“I did,” she whispered. “I just... couldn’t say it out loud.”

You leaned in before you could stop yourself.

It wasn’t a kiss, not yet. Just your foreheads pressed together, your breath mixing with hers, that ache rising again, warm and hungry and full of everything you never said.

“I still love you,” you said, barely audible.

Ellie closed her eyes. “God, I wish I didn’t.”

Then she kissed you.

And it tasted like regret. Like forgiveness. Like maybe this time, you wouldn’t let go.

can you do hcs of ellie williams taking care of sick reader :)

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬: 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘹 𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

☆- Ellie is a very observant person. It’s actually annoying how well she can read you. She would most likely know you were sick even before you realized you were.

☆- Ellie protects. She serves. She looks after people. She cares. As soon as she finds out you are sick her natural instinct is to provide and to care for you.

☆- Even if it was a small cold Ellie freaks out, she usually acts like you’re on the brink of death:

“Ellie it’s just a cold”

“You could suffocate in your own mucus though”

“No- “

☆- She would show up at your house randomly, sometimes breaking in just make sure you were ok:

“Ellie you were here 3 hours ago”

“Ok so?”

☆- She would cook you something to eat (or attempt to because let’s be honest it doesn’t look like Ellie can cook) and force you to eat it:

“It’s burnt”

“Shut up baby, I know what’s good for you”

☆- She’d run you a bath (daily), give you massages and she would sing to you.

☆- Ellie literally treats you like a baby while you’re sick( she won’t even let you basic things by yourself)

“Ellie I can tuck myself in”               

“Shhhh I know what I’m doing”

☆- Most nights Ellie wouldn’t sleep, she’d stay awake to make sure you were getting a good night’s rest.

☆- Very affectionate (more than she normally is)

“Ellie don’t touch me I’ll get you sick”

“Ellie stop kissing me”

“Ellie go away”

(She can be suffocating at times)

(You can’t even pee alone)

☆- She would most likely cry when you mention any pain you’re feeling, because she hates seeing you in pain, or hearing that you feel anything but happiness.

☆- Is worried that maybe you didn’t have a cold, and that you had something more serious and life threatening

“The medical books say that the headaches could be a brain tumor”

“Ellie what- “

☆- When you eventually get better, Ellie still follows you around, constantly checking if the cold/flu came back.

“Why do you keep touching my forehead?”

“You could be sick”

“Ellie I was sick a week ago, I feel better”

“That’s what a sick person in denial would say”

“I- “

Authors note: Thank you so much for requesting! And to all the other people that are requesting I promise your stories are coming soon! Remember requests are always open feel free to leave one…. Remember you are loved, and to always be kind to everyone:)

Yours truly,

Zia <3

your writing is so good :(( i would really like to see more of professor ellie

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ Ellie leaves post-it notes around the house with little observations or facts—like “Did you know an octopus has three hearts?”—signed “Prof. Williams.”

☆ Her morning coffee routine is sacred; she makes a second cup automatically for you, even before you’re awake.

☆ She reads peer-reviewed articles in bed and mumbles criticisms under her breath while you drift off beside her.

☆ Ellie has a very specific chair she grades in and lets no one—not even you—sit in it. But you drape a throw blanket over it to “soften her edges.”

☆ She always corrects the grammar of signs in public and then immediately kisses your cheek to make up for it.

☆ You have a running list of vocabulary words she uses in daily conversation that you make fun of.

☆ Ellie panics if she forgets her planner—it’s her life line. You once hid it as a joke and she almost cried.

☆ You make her wear blue light glasses after she complained about headaches from too much screen time.

☆ Her books are all arranged by subject and subtopic, but there’s a tiny, chaotic shelf of novels you convinced her to read.

☆ She pretends to be annoyed when you fold her clothes wrong but secretly refolds them late at night with a fond smile.

☆ Ellie buys you vintage notebooks because she says your thoughts deserve a beautiful place to live.

☆ She underlines passages in her research books with faint hearts in the margins and lets you find them.

☆ Her favorite way to flirt is through long, winding academic arguments—and she always lets you win.

☆ You once called her "Doctor Williams" during a heated argument and it turned her on. She went silent and red.

☆ She creates elaborate metaphors from her lectures just to compliment you—“If you were a research subject, I'd violate the ethics code to know you better.”

☆ You sit in on her lectures sometimes and she always smirks when she spots you in the back.

☆ She corrects your pronunciation mid-conversation—then kisses your neck to distract you from being annoyed.

☆ Ellie keeps a secret folder on her laptop titled “My Favorite Theories,” and it’s full of quotes you’ve said.

☆ Her handwriting is almost illegible but she writes you love letters on university letterhead like it’s an academic report.

☆ You once found her writing a journal article about love, and every example was clearly about you.

☆ Ellie has a habit of muttering “mine” when you wear her glasses or sweaters.

☆ She's terrible at emotional vulnerability unless it’s 2 a.m. and she’s had too much wine.

☆ She’ll never admit it, but she tracks your schedule as carefully as she tracks her office hours.

☆ Ellie’s idea of intimacy is lying in bed silently, your legs tangled while she edits a manuscript.

☆ She’s obsessed with the back of your neck—always kissing it in passing like a reflex.

☆ You leave her little annotated notes in her books, and she keeps every single one like sacred texts.

☆ She has a playlist titled “My Subject of Study” and every song reminds her of you.

☆ She’s not great with selfies, but she secretly takes pictures of you reading, working, or laughing when you’re not looking.

☆ She’s fiercely protective of your mind—hates when others interrupt you or undermine your opinions in group settings.

☆ You once wrote her a poem and she printed it, framed it, and keeps it in her office behind a stack of journals so no one sees but her.

☆ Ellie spirals if she feels emotionally disconnected from you—she’ll reread texts and reanalyze conversations like case studies.

☆ She memorizes your patterns: the way you chew pens, sigh when thinking, the exact sound of your “I’m tired” voice.

☆ She keeps a folder of your academic achievements and personal wins like she’s building a resume for you.

☆ If someone flirts with you, Ellie becomes icy professional—like a polite shark.

☆ She has intrusive thoughts about losing you during lectures and will stop mid-slide to text “Are you okay?”

☆ You once made a joke about breaking up and she didn’t speak for six hours.

☆ She gets almost religiously intense when she talks about your intelligence—like you’re the final proof of something sacred.

☆ She knows your preferred citation style and uses it when she references you in footnotes.

☆ Ellie gets jealous when other professors praise you too highly—even if she agrees.

☆ You once caught her writing your initials over and over in the margins of her personal notebooks like a lovesick teen.

☆ When you fight, Ellie retreats into silence and overthinks every word you said until she’s made herself sick.

☆ Her apologies are long, detailed, and cited like a research paper—thesis statement, body, conclusion.

☆ She’s incredibly sensitive to tone—one “fine” from you can ruin her whole day.

☆ When she’s upset, she cleans obsessively—especially her desk. You always know something’s wrong when her pens are too perfectly aligned.

☆ She once sent you a long email titled “Re: Our Disagreement” instead of texting you after a fight.

☆ She’s terrified of not being enough for you—but tries to hide it under cold logic.

☆ You’ve had to pull her out of panic spirals during her worst grading weeks when she believes she’s failing at everything, including your relationship.

☆ Sometimes she offers you affection like an apology, and you have to remind her you don’t need to be earned.

☆ Ellie reads out loud to you when you can’t sleep—dense texts, soft poems, even her own work in progress.

☆ She writes one line of a love letter every day in the back of her planner. She says she’ll show it to you in a decade.

☆ She always keeps an extra charger for you in her bag—just in case.

☆ She never starts eating until she sees you take a bite first. Always.

☆ She writes tiny love notes on your receipts, your lecture printouts, your napkins.

☆ Ellie never says “I love you” casually—when she says it, she means it. Every. Time.

☆ She keeps a copy of your handwriting taped inside her wallet.

☆ She kisses your temple like it’s an academic ritual—precision, reverence, consistency.

☆ You once told her she talk-writes in her sleep—and now she worries she says too much while dreaming.

☆ Her love feels clinical sometimes: obsessive, methodical, deeply studied—but it’s real. And it’s yours.

☆ She saves up random facts just to tell you at night, as if your curiosity is the only thing that makes her day complete.

☆ Every time you tell her you love her, she still pauses—like it’s a theory she never quite believes she’s worthy of, but is so desperate to prove.

𝐈𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞?: 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

This story is based off the song Is there someone else? by The Weeknd. If you can please listen to the song while reading:)

(Fun fact I love Abel’s music, I’ve been a XO for years so it’s only fitting for me to use his music, and with that you can expect a lot of stories based off his songs! Anyway let’s get back to the story;) )

Pairing:  Jackson!ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open, feel free to leave one, or just send me a song and I’ll take it from there!

Warnings: mentions of cheating

Summary: All Ellie wanted was for you to forgive her

I know that you're hiding something from me

That's been close to your heart

And I felt it creeping up every day

Baby, right from the start

Ellie sat across you, as she watched your hands fidget. She knew there was something off about you. She knew you were hiding something from her. And if she had to guess by your recent behavior she could tell that it was serious.

You’ve been acting strange for the last few months now. You were distant. Cold. You weren’t that ray of sunshine she fell in love with.

As the days go by Ellie can’t help but feel more and more alone. She didn’t only feel alone, but she became touch starved by the distance you kept from her. You were there but you weren’t. You were hers but you weren’t. You started talking to her less, you stopped any form of physical contact with Ellie. No more hugging, no more cuddling. Nothing.

And in the beginning Ellie was concerned. She thought maybe you were sick, or hurt. But as time went on and you were pulling away from her not just physically but emotionally too- Ellie knew there was something much deeper than a sickness. For weeks she’s searched her brain to try and figure out.

What the hell was wrong with you? How could she help you? Did Ellie do something? Was your behavior her fault? What the fuck is happening to the love of her life?

I know that look you give when we're fighting (fighting)

We're fighting (fighting)

'Cause I used to be the one who was lying (lying)

Oh, lying (lying)

Ellie stared at you, your gaze cold. She looked into your eyes, and normally when she would look at you, your eyes would be filled with love and admiration for Ellie- but all she could see was anger. Hatred. Ellie became sick of your behavior and she decided to confront you. The argument started off simple, with Ellie saying something along the lines of “are you ok?  you’ve been acting weird babe. You know you can always talk to me” What was supposed to be a normal conversation escalated very quickly.

“Baby look I don’t want to argue with you- I just need you to be honest with me” Ellie begged. She looked at you with pleading eyes.

You scoffed “as if you have ever been honest with me”

As soon as those words left your lips, tension filled the room. The room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

One night after a very rough day on patrol, Ellie and Dina went out. After a couple of drinks, the two girls ended up, hooking up in your house. It didn’t take a long time for you to find out. Ellie wasn’t really good at hiding things.  And when you found out you were crushed. And Ellie knew she messed up a good thing as soon as she saw the tears fill your eyes as she told you. Ellie was filled with guilt and regret.  You almost left Ellie that day. But you didn’t. You stayed. You stayed because you loved her. You gave her a second chance. A chance to prove herself. It was hard for you in the beginning but eventually you and Ellie went back to ‘normal’. But that normal didn’t last very long.

Oh. Now everything made sense. Ellie sat there, mouth agape, at your response. She heard you let out a huff “look Ellie- I love you. But I can’t just forget and move on’’

 Before any words could leave Ellie’s mouth you spoke again “I need space, I need someone who won’t do what you did, because if really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

The words rang in Ellie’s ears:

” I need someone who won’t do what you did” You wanted someone else?

“If you really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

Ellie sat there in silence. She watched you pick up a bag walk to the door. “I’m going out don’t wait up” And you left. You didn’t look back. As soon as the door shut Ellie let out a sob. A gut wrenching sob. She knew she made a mistake but she didn’t know that it would lead to this. Ellie loved you. You were her entire world and to hear you say really did love me you wouldn’t have slept with Dina hurts because she loved you. She loved you more than life itself.  

The words bounced around in her head over and over again “I need someone who won’t do what you did, because if really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

“I need someone who won’t do what you did, because if really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

Oh (oh), is there someone else or not?

'Cause I wanna keep you close

I don't wanna lose my spot

'Cause I need to know

If you're hurting him, or you're hurting me

If I ain't with you, I don't wanna be

Is there someone else or not?

Ooh, or not

Ellie felt her eyes gloss over as she watched you sit at the end of the bed. She felt her tears run down her face, in an attempt to not look so vulnerable Ellie brought her knees to her chest, and she put her chin on her kneecaps. You weren’t looking at her- fidgeting with your hands.

Ellie knew you were nervous; the fact you aren’t making eyes contact with her was already a sign. Ellie wasn’t sure why she was crying, all you did was walk into the room and you sat down on the bed. But Ellie had a feeling. Her gut was telling her you were going to say something she wouldn’t like. You were there to break her heart. Ellie let a small whimper and turned to look at her. You didn’t reach out to her, like you normally would. You didn’t comfort her. You just looked at her and you said “Ellie now is not the time to cry” Your face was as beautiful as always. You voice calm, while Ellie was wreck across from you.

“Is there someone else?” Ellie whispered. And as soon as those words left her mouth, Ellie could tell by your facial expression there was. There is someone else.

“No” Ellie whispered, frantic as brought her hands over her ears as she let out loud sobs, repeating the words no over and over again. There is someone else.

For how long? Was it a girl or a boy? Ellie was the other women.

Ellie needed to hear the words leave your mouth. She needed you to say yes. She needed to know if she lost her spot. Being the girl you came home to, being the girl you shared your hopes and dreams with. She wanted to be that girl forever, but she isn’t that girl anymore. There was someone else. Ellie needed to know. Ellie didn’t want to be with anyone but you. You were her everything, even the thought of her being with someone disgusts her.

As Ellie sat there rocking back and forth screaming her lungs out, she felt you gently holding her, and shushing her.

 “Sh sh sh baby its ok” you said softly. Even with the current situation Ellie immediately leaned into your hold, grabbing onto your t-shirt and sobbing into your arms. You were humming a soft tune, because you knew music always calmed Ellie down. You knew her better than she knew herself.

When Ellie eventually calmed down she pulled away from you slowly, looking at your beautiful face. Your cheeks were slightly wet, from crying as well. Ellie asked the question again:

“Is there someone else?”

And that three letter word let your mouth. Ellie wished you didn’t confirm it. But her question was answered when you let out a simple;

“Yes.”

I don't deserve someone loyal to me

Don't you think I see?

And I don't want to be a prisoner to who I used to be

I swear I changed my ways for the better, the better

'Cause I wanna be with you forever, forever

Ellie was drunk. That night that she hooked up with Dina. She was drunk. Alcohol is not an excuse for cheating, and she knew that but she was drunk. Ellie didn’t think that one drunken mistake would cost her the love of her life.

You were too good for Ellie. Too loving. The things Ellie has done in her life that was disgusting, and cruel. Ellie was heartless. Ellie thought no one could love someone as dirty as she was. But then there was you. You loved Ellie for who she was, and now because she was drunk she lost you. The only person other than Joel that mattered to her. Ellie didn’t deserve you. She didn’t deserve someone as loyal and loving like you were. And even when you gave her that second chance she knew she didn’t deserve it. She deserved you leaving her. She deserved you getting with someone else. Ellie tried changing her ways, because she wanted to be with you forever. Till she took he last breathe she wanted to be with you.

 In the months after you and Ellie broke up, she tried proving to you that she was a good person. Even when you broken up she tried. When you had announced this someone else you were seeing was your girlfriend it ruined Ellie. Because she can’t live without you. The fact that you were in a stable relationship with someone that is not her hurts. And even though you had a girlfriend Ellie would still try. She writes you notes, sends you messages through people, pleading that you would give her another chance. Ellie needed you.

 But the more Ellie looked at the situation, the more she realized that this was the consequences of her own actions.

Oh, is there someone else or not?

'Cause I wanna keep you close

I don't wanna lose my spot

'Cause I need to know

If you're hurting him, or you're hurting me

If I ain't with you, I don't wanna be

Is there someone else or not?

Ooh, or not

Ellie looked the grin on your face as you walked down the aisle, you looked beautiful in your wedding dress. Ellie dreamed of this day. The day you would walk to her, and get married. And that you would end up her surname.

But now she was a part of the crowd. She watched you walk down the aisle to your girlfriend of 2 years. Her name was Abby. An outsider that joined Jackson in the recent years. You were marrying the women you had left her for.

 As the pastor exclaimed you may now kiss the bride, both you and that girl smiled as you leaned in for that kiss. You were married. To someone else. The crowd screamed when your lips locked with hers, and Ellie couldn’t help but let her tear fall at the sight. There was no saving your relationship. It had been almost 3 years since you and Ellie broke up, and she still couldn’t move on. Ellie became a shell of the person she was after you left. Ellie was never the same. And Ellie never will be the same.

Many times Ellie fantasies that Abby was the women that cheated on you. She fantasizes that she was that someone else you left Abby for. But that was not the case.

For the rest of Ellie’s life, she grieved your relationship, while you lived your happily ever after.

Authors note: Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! Remember to always love one another and to be kind…. Requests are always open... Thank you so much for the love and support on all my stories, I love all of you dearly!

Yours truly,

Zia:)

hellooo

I’m obsessed w the song Drunk, Running by Lizzy McAlpine. do you think you could write a ellie x reader based on that song plsss 🥺

thx so much!!

Drunk, Running - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! I had two ideas for the ending, lmk if you want a different version!! I hope you enjoy:)

this story is based off the song, Drunk, Running by Lizzy McAlpine. If you can listen to the song as you're reading:)

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts and ideas!!

warnings: codependent relationship themes, alcohol use, emotional manipulation (subtle, mutual), unresolved trauma, toxic dynamic, mentions of anxiety/panic

summary: You and Ellie have always been a storm—chaotic, coiled tightly, unspoken things woven into the silence between glances. One night, everything boils over. Fueled by alcohol, memory, and all the words neither of you ever had the guts to say sober, you're both forced to confront the version of love you’ve built: broken, frantic, desperate.

masterlist

You don’t remember how you got here.

Not the room—you know this place like your own heartbeat. You could walk it blindfolded. It’s the ache in your ribs, the burn in your lungs, the sting of regret creeping up your throat that you can’t place.

Ellie’s doorway leans the same way it always has. Crooked. Waiting.

And she’s there. She’s always there.

Sitting on the edge of her bed with a cigarette between her fingers, head tilted back, red eyes glossy like she’s already lived this night a thousand times. Like she’s been here before, waiting for you to walk in and fall apart in front of her.

“Been drinkin’ again?” she asks.

You nod. She doesn’t move. And neither do you.

You taste vodka and guilt, and something like hope when you whisper, “I couldn’t sleep.”

She shrugs, tapping ash into the same cracked mug she never washes. “I didn’t ask.”

That should’ve hurt. Maybe it does.

But you’re not here for kindness. You’re here because this is the only place where the world stops spinning, even if it’s just for a second.

Even if the stillness breaks you. Even if it’s Ellie breaking you.

“I walked here,” you say, trying to fill the silence that’s pressing hard against your ears. “Didn’t even put on shoes.”

“You’re gonna cut your feet,” she murmurs. She still won’t look at you.

“They’re already bleeding.”

Finally, her eyes meet yours.

And for a second, there’s a flicker of something softer. A glint of that girl who once traced constellations across your shoulder blades in the dark and called you her galaxy.

“You always come back,” she says, like it’s a curse.

You blink. “I always leave.”

“You always come back drunk.”

You laugh, bitter. “Maybe that’s the only time I’m brave enough.”

Ellie’s jaw flexes. You know that expression. She’s doing math in her head, counting how many times you’ve done this. Walked in, broken. Asked her to fix you. Let her hold you. Only to walk out again with your ribs sewn shut and your voice hoarse from the things you never said.

“You ever wonder if we just—" she stops, runs a hand through her hair, frustrated. “If we’re only this because we’re scared to be something else?”

Your throat goes dry. She never talks like this. Not when she’s sober. Not when you’re not.

“I think we’re poison,” you whisper.

She scoffs. “Then why do you keep drinking me?”

You step toward her like your bones are moving without permission. Like they remember the way she feels before your mind does. Like they’re in love with her even when you’ve forgotten how.

“’Cause it’s the only thing that makes it stop hurting.”

Ellie doesn’t pull away when you kneel in front of her. When your head falls into her lap. When your hands clutch at her thighs like a lifeline. Her fingers slip into your hair, gentle. Devastating. Like nothing’s wrong.

Like this isn’t killing both of you.

“You smell like cheap vodka and bad choices,” she says, but it’s so soft you almost think she’s trying to love you with the words.

“I miss you,” you breathe.

“You don’t,” she says back. “You miss the version of me who let you run.”

The silence drapes over the room like fog.

“I miss the version of me who didn’t,” you finally whisper.

And that’s when she leans down, foreheads touching, breath against your lips like a promise neither of you know how to keep.

“You were never supposed to love me like this,” she says, and you feel it like a knife.

“You taught me how,” you reply, and she shatters in your hands.

She kisses you like a warning. You kiss her like a prayer.

And it’s all teeth and memory and the kind of desperation that tastes like blood. Her hands grip your waist like she’s trying to hold together something that’s already cracked.

She lays you down. You let her. You always let her.

And when she curls around you after, her voice barely audible, she asks the same question she always does.

“Will you stay this time?”

And you give the same answer you always do.

“I don’t know how.”

You leave in the morning. You always do.

And behind you, Ellie lights another cigarette, watches the sunrise she never asked for, and whispers into the silence: I would’ve waited forever.

Ellie hadn’t realized the silence was healing her until the ache stopped being the first thing she felt when she woke up. It started subtly.

Your name stopped echoing every time her phone buzzed. Her hands stopped trembling at 3AM. She stopped checking the sidewalk in front of her apartment like you’d be barefoot again, drunk, bleeding, mumbling something about needing to be held.

She stopped waiting for you to come undone in her doorway. And in the quiet you left behind, she started building a life that didn’t require loving you in pieces.

She read more. Fixed the broken step on her porch. Learned how to cook something other than grilled cheese. Stopped sleeping in the middle of the bed. Not because she expected you back, but because it felt better.

Peaceful, even.

She thought of you sometimes. Of course she did.

The way you smiled when you were too tired to fake it. The way your hands always shook when you said you didn’t care. The way you used her like a lighthouse, then cursed the fire when you got too close.

You never meant to be cruel. But that didn’t make it less cruel.

Still, Ellie never stopped loving you. She just stopped setting herself on fire to keep you warm.

And so, when your knock finally came—not a drunken stumble, not a crash, just one soft tap-tap-tap—Ellie was already standing.

Barefoot. Coffee in hand. Awake before dawn because she’d stopped dreading it.

When she opened the door and saw you—sober, eyes clear, jacket zipped—it was like meeting someone entirely new. Or maybe someone you were before the chaos.

“Hey,” you said.

Her throat was dry. “Hey.”

You smiled, almost sheepish. “I didn’t come to fall apart this time.”

That made her chest seize up in ways she wasn’t ready for.

You stood there, hands buried in your coat pockets, shifting like you didn’t know if you had the right to be here anymore. Like you didn’t expect her to open the door.

“I just…” you licked your lips. “I’ve been trying. I’ve been going to therapy. I’ve stopped drinking. It’s been four months. I journal. I even got a cat.”

Ellie blinked. “You hate cats.”

“She hates me too. It’s a good match.”

That pulled a soft laugh out of her, unfiltered. You looked so… real. Not desperate. Not frantic. Not aching.

“I’ve missed you,” you said. “But not like before. Not like… like you’re the only thing keeping me alive. I just… miss you. Not the pain. Not the mess.”

She leaned against the doorframe, letting herself exhale.

“Why now?” she asked. “Why today?”

You bit your lip. “Because for the first time, I wasn’t scared to be alone. And I think… maybe that means I’m ready to be with someone. Not to survive. Just to be.”

She wanted to say something poetic. Something that sounded like closure or beginning or both.

But all she could manage was: “Do you want to come in?”

You smiled like it meant everything.

“Only if you want me to.”

Ellie stepped aside. And this time, you walked in with your shoes on, your voice steady, your hands not shaking.

You didn’t fall into her arms like you were drowning. You stood beside her. Still. Sober.

And when she reached for your hand, it wasn’t trembling.

This is how the cycle ends. Not with fireworks. Not with a breakdown. But with quiet recognition. With two people choosing each other—not out of fear, but out of love that finally feels safe.

It’s almost embarrassing how mundane it is.

The morning light spills through the apartment like it’s always belonged there—soft, forgiving. Your cat (the one who still barely tolerates you) is curled on the windowsill, tail flicking rhythmically. Ellie’s in the kitchen, humming under her breath while flipping pancakes she knows you like just a little burnt on the edges.

You’re sitting at the kitchen table, wrapped in one of her old flannels, thumbing through a book she lent you. You’ve underlined every other sentence.

She says nothing about it.

Just brings you a cup of coffee exactly the way you like it now. Two sugars. No cream. You’d stopped adding cream when you realized you used to drown the bitterness out of habit, not taste.

“How’s the book?” she asks.

You look up at her—hair messy, tattoo sleeve half-covered by a hoodie, eyes kind in the way that used to terrify you. You used to run from kindness like it was a threat.

Now you let it hold you.

“It’s good,” you murmur. “I think I’m finally understanding it.”

She leans against the counter and raises a brow. “The themes or the words?”

“Both.”

She grins. “Progress.”

You smile back. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Ellie walks over, slow and sure. Crouches beside your chair, presses her forehead to your knee like it’s instinct. Her fingers curl around yours. Grounding.

“You gave up on yourself first,” she says quietly. “I was just waiting for you to remember who you are.”

You blink back the sting behind your eyes. Not sadness. Just... release.

“I was so scared,” you whisper.

“I know.”

“I thought loving you meant losing myself.”

She nods, solemn. “And I thought loving you meant saving you.”

You both sit with that. Not in shame—just recognition.

“I’m not a project anymore,” you say.

“No,” she agrees, looking up at you. “You’re my partner.”

You press your lips to her forehead. She closes her eyes. Breakfast burns slightly on the stove, but neither of you move.

Later, you water the plants while Ellie grades papers. Your cat hisses when you try to pet her and Ellie snorts behind her laptop. You walk past her and kiss her temple. She tugs you onto her lap and lets you fall asleep like that—safe, full, warm. When you wake up, the sun is fading, and Ellie’s fingers are tracing the line of your spine through the fabric of her flannel.

“You think we’ll always be this boring?” you tease.

She smiles against your shoulder.

“I hope so.”

I hardly seen any love for Dina can you maybe do one her shy x popular trope

One chance - (popular!dina x shy!reader)

hi anon, firstly real! we need more Dina fics! I'm sorry if this sucks I struggle with writing fluff lmao, but i hope you enjoy :)

Pairing: dina x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts:)

warnings: none

Summary: In which the popular girl asked you out

authors note: on a serious note we need more dina fics, she's sooooo fine but so underrated and it's so sad

masterlist

"Earth to Dina"

"huh?"

"Dina are you ok?" Ellie asked concerned at her friends spaced out expression.

"I'm fine"

no she wasn't.

Dina was not fine.

She was fucking fuming. Why? Because you were giving someone else attention.

Dina had always wanted to be a cheerleader. Ever since she was a little girl, she watched countless videos on YouTube for cheer routines, and she memorized them all.

As soon as she became a freshman in high-school she immediately auditioned, and as if god was on her side she became the caption and she stayed the caption up until her senior year.

She fucking loved to cheer.

The makeup, the routines, the crowd screaming for them.

For her.

God she loved it all the attention. She loved all the people around her, people praising her, and telling her that she did a good job.

Dina was the classic popular girl and as cliché as it was, this was who she was and she loved every fucking second of it.

It was like no other day.

She stood at the entrance of the field, watching the football teams run out.

She observed the other cheer teams standing next to hers, they were pretty, but surely they weren't as talented.

The whistle blew and a grin spread on to Dina's face, as she jogged out the massive doors, her squad running behind her.

The crowd cheered as the girls came out, and Dina proudly raised her pompoms, shaking them slightly.

Her gaze fell onto the crowd, as she tried spotting people wearing the schools colors but her eyes fell on you.

woah.

She's never seen you before.

Holy fucking shit.

For the rest of the night, Dina's eyes lingered on you.

Every time they had to perform, she always kept and eye on you, hoping you'd make eye contact.

You never looked her way.

You wanted to but you were scared.

You'd only join the school a month ago and you remembered on your first day of school, you saw her.

The pretty girl with the dark hair.

That's what you called her until you were told her name was Dina.

Dina. Dina. Dina. Dina Dina.

She was all you could think about.

Everywhere you went there was a reminder of Dina.

You saw a bow? Dina wears bows.

You saw someone wearing blue? Dina always wears blue converse.

You wanted to talk to her so fucking bad, but you couldn't. Every time you got close to her it felt like you were going to piss yourself.

You made her a paper flower one day, hoping you'd be able to give it to her. You'd hype up yourself in the mirror but as soon as you saw her, the confidence you once felt fell away.

"C'mon lets go" your friend Abby begged. She'd been asking you to the football game all week but you weren't in the mood for the loud crowds and all the screaming.

"let me stay home dude" you replied

"Dina will be there"

That's all you needed to hear. You raced to get ready, and you put on a orange jumper hoping the bright color might catch Dina's attention.

You sat on the field with hundreds of other people, you anxiously waited for her, you realized that her seeing you would be unlikely due to the amount of people that filled the seats.

All you remember was the crowd cheering and Dina jogging out, wearing her blue converse. There was a grin on her face as her team followed her and she looked fucking perfect.

As hard as you tried not to look at her you couldn't help it.

She stood in front so obviously you were gonna look at her.

She performed with so much confidence, with so much grace. You could truly look at her forever.

When the game came to an end her squad asked if she wanted to go out with them, but Dina kindly declined because she had other plans.

She had to talk to this pretty girl that distracted her throughout the whole game.

Dina walked through the crowd, trying to avoid all the people who were trying to talk to her.

She was growing frustrated. Where the fuck were you?

Just as she was about to lose hope, she spotted your orange jumper. You stood on the side of the road talking on your phone. Dina slowly walked towards you and she didn't mean to listen to your conversation but she did.

"Abby i swear to god if you don't come pick me up in 5 minutes I'm going to kill you"

Dina softly giggled at how overdramatic you were. You put your phone into your pocket on you sighed.

Dina could walk away right now, she could turn away and you would never have to know about this.

Fuck it. Dina wasn't a pussy.

She tapped you on shoulder, and you turned around. Your eyes met with the girl you've been silently in love with for the last month.

Fuck.

"Hi" Dina started, giving you her charming smile.

Your mouth went dry and you felt so fucking nervous. She could probably see how you were shaking.

"Hi" you replied meeting her gaze shyly.

"Well I'm Dina and i just wanted to say you're really pretty and i was wondering if i could have your number?"

You wanted to pinch yourself. Is this even real? Was this a prank?

"yeah" was all you said without looking at her. You watched Dina reach into her bag to pull out her phone, and she silently watched as you put in your number.

"You don't talk much do you?" She laughed awkwardly as she took her phone from your hand.

"Yeah" was all you said.

Dina didn't text you. Its been 2 weeks.

Its not that she didn't want to, but she was terrified.

You barely spoke to her that night, who says you'll even text her back?

You on the other hand saw the situation differently. You thought she was taking you for a fool. Someone like Dina would never just ask for your number.

As the weeks went by you and Dina make eye contact, she would give you a small smile and you would just walk away with a nod. You'd make no effort to talk to her because she made you so fucking nervous.

Dina hated this. She hated that she wanted someone that can barley look at her. But here she was getting mad at you for talking to someone else.

Some blonde bitch sat with you and you acted so differently. You laughed, you fucking smiled and showed emotion, but when Dina was around you barely uttered a word to her.

You drove her insane.

"Dude why are you fucking lying?"

"what?" Dina asked.

She actually forgot Ellie was sitting here.

"You keep looking at her and Abby"

so that's what her name was.

"What's your deal with them?" Ellie persisted.

She might as well admit it.

"She isn't the problem, Abby is"

Ellies gaze fell to you and Abby for a while before it all clicked.

"Dude are you jealous? do you have a fucking crush on her or something?"

"Yeah" Dina admitted "but I don't know anything about her, i tried talking to her, but she doesn't say much"

Dina quickly glazed to you before she groaned in frustration

"she doesn't" Ellie confirmed.

"She only talks to Abby, she's quite shy in my opinion"

shy is an understatement.

Dina was losing her mind. Every time she sees you and Abby together she feels sick. But at the same time she's too pussy to talk to you or to even text you.

Dina could perform in front of thousands of people without batting an eye but she could barley say hi to you.

You were fucking breaking her.

Dina went to an empty classroom to let off some steam and to her surprise you sat there.

"Hi" Dina said in amazement.

"Hi" you responded looking everywhere in the room but her.

'just fucking look at me' Dina thought to herself.

"What are you doing here?" She asked you.

"Abby isn't here today, i didn't feel like sitting alone"

Dina's fist clenched tightly at the mention of Abby.

"Can i ask you something?" Dina randomly asked, after staring at you for a while.

"yeah"

"why don't you want me?"

"What?"

Dina dropped her backpack and she made her way towards you: "like you- fuck- why don't you look at me? I always look at you"

You wanted to run out the room, this was all happening too fast. "Dina-"

"no listen, i know nothing about you but you seem like a really sweet girl, please just one chance" she begged.

You would give her a million chances.

"Yeah..." you started, you looked around the room one last time before you finally made eye contact with Dina.

"so are you gonna take me on a date?" You smiled at her shyly.

Dina chucked and she responded with one word: "yeah"