Some Similarities Between AF And LOTR

BPD Awarness Month

On top of May being mental health awareness month, it’s also BPD (Borderline personality disorder) awareness month. I don’t even have enough words to describe what it feels like living with BPD. It has been my tool to survival and will eventually be my demise. Life with BPD is the hardest. You are emotionally fucked. You are toxic to everyone you come into contact with. Everyday is a struggle. Every hour is a caution tape. Living with it is like living in a gas chamber that is slowly leaking toxic fumes. Your breath is always caught. Your tears are always flowing. Even with therapy and medication for the symptoms, there is so much left to deal with. It never really goes away. At a moment's notice you can change feelings from “I love you” to “I hate you”. Having someone love you feels fake. Like you are never going to be loveable. That no one could ever love you. You’re too much of a burden. Too damaged to be loved. BPD is from trauma. And well, I have generations of it. No matter how much I try, no matter how much I grow it never feels enough. Emotions feel like suicide. Thoughts scream too loud. Demons control you like a puppet unable to run away. Hallucinations come and go. You really never know when they'll come or go. Sometimes the episodes will be minutes, others months. Distance or slightest voice change feels like abandonment. Happiness or peace feels like an illusion. Losing someone is like the world is the knives across your skin. Anger feels like jumping off a cliff. Every time someone tries to comfort or love you feels like a trick. You either feel alone or feel like a god. Living with BPD is the hardest thing to live with. It's comparable to giving my children up for adoption. Either you’re high on top of the galaxy or you’re at rock bottom over and over in a vicious cycle. We are so stigmatized. People think we are “ticking time bombs”. Hell I’ve even had therapists leave or deny me because of it. For all of my borderlines out there, you deserve love. You deserve happiness. You can’t just cope, you have to heal. It will take every ounce of self control and inner power to get through each episode. But I promise you when you find peace, true peace you’ll know what I’m talking about. Your trauma does not make you. You are not your trauma. You are not crazy. You are not a burden. Just hang tight, we’ve got this. 

Yes I've read that !! It's from KitsuneHeart right ? I've said in my first half-goblin Holly post that I was inspired by her :) I love her essay, I agree with all of her points. The People has a real racial bias problem (not to mention being a "pacifist" police-run society) and I feel like it should be addressed more.

Holly is skeptical 🤨

Struggling to make digital watercolor work, but I’m quite happy, and enjoying the journey.

That morning in 1999 ; they just found out…

First time trying a big piece on procreate, i’m glad I went for a monochrome so I could work on my (non existent) shadows skills. I don’t draw scenes like this very often even on traditional media so I’m quite happy with how it turned out.

Sorry for the angst, mental health is a sh*tshow right now 🫠 So i’m torturing my favorite characters because i’m a terrible person ✨

Send me a fandom and i’ll tell you:

the character i least understand

interactions i enjoyed the most

the character who scares me the most

the character who is mostly like me

hottest looks character

one thing i dislike about my fave character

one thing i like about my hated character

a quote or scene that haunts me

a death that left me indifferent

a character i wish died but didn’t

my ship that never sailed

𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙼𝚛. 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚜,

𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟻𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟸, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝙼𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚊 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚜, 𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚢, 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚊 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝.

𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚖𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚍, 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖 𝚖𝚢 𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚗'𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚆𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝙻𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎, 𝙼𝚛. 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚜, 𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚖.

𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚎, 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍, 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚜. 𝙸 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝙸 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍'𝚜 𝚐𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚜.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚝𝚜, 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎, 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚛 (𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚞𝚐𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚔𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚝!) 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚋𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚖, 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏:

𝚘𝚗𝚎 (𝟷) 𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚌 𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚕𝚍.

𝙸 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚊 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝.

𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛.

𝚂𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢

𝙰𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚜 𝙵𝚘𝚠𝚕 𝙸𝙸

Having BPD feels like being stabbed over and over for years until one day, I wake up and I’m not in pain anymore. Not because it’s gone, but because I’ve gone numb. Now it just feels like I’m walking around with my stomach split open, dragging my own intestines behind me.

I’m still bleeding. I just don’t flinch anymore.

idk if it’s still your birthday where u are but happy birthday!! :D

meep meep !! thank you so much 💜

Smol Artemis and Juliet.

Did they truly understand each other ? Not really. Were they friends ? Not exactly. Did they spend an incredible amount of energy to piss each other off and pretend they hated to exist in the same place ? Definitely. But were they still there when comfort was needed ? Absolutely.

be bored. find a short film titled 'Juliet dans Paris'.

think of Artemis Fowl. watch the movie.

... yeah. erm. not the same Juliet.

🥺🥺🥺 My child !!!

Selene and Her Creator

Fanfic of a fanfic. Inspired by Eldewind Dolly's story "Artemis Experiments Weird".

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Selene was distraught. Artemis, her father, didn't care. Except this time she couldn't run away from that fact. He had said it straight to her face, with no remorse and no regret, before simply walking away. Her creator was her first bully. She had to fix this. She had to do something– anything. So she walked to his room and waited for him. She sat on the bed for a while, then read a book, then drew for a bit, then surfed the web… where was Artemis? Selene was almost beginning to lose hope, when the bedroom door opened. Artemis, Selene’s father, her creator, was standing in the doorway.

Artemis slammed the door and stormed over to Selene. She was wearing one of his mother's old dresses.

“What have you done?” he nearly shouted at her.

Selene was terrified, because she hadn't done anything. She hadn't even said a single word today! The words flowed out of her mouth before she could think about how they could be interpreted.

“Father, please! I didn't do anything, I swear. I just want you to love me! I love you so much, creator. I just wish you'd be like a real father and treat your creation right!”

The silence was deafening. Artemis's eyes were wide in anger. How dare she talk back to him? Artemis backhanded her with a surprising amount of strength, and immediately regretted it. For one, his hand hurts now. Two…he felt guilt. For the first time in a while, he felt guilt that lasted for more than just a few seconds. Selene was shocked by the expression on her creator's face, her eyes brimming with tears. Artemis then cradled Selene's head in his hands, gently caressing her hurt cheek with his thumb. He felt so bad. He kissed her cheek gently and sat down next to her.

“Selene, I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me…”

Instead of responding, Selene simply hugged her creator and snuggled up against him, feeding on the affection.