BPD Awarness Month

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Been LOVING these AF daemons post by OP <3 I've been thinking about this particular post lately, here are some of my personal thoughts on deaths in the AF books with daemons attached. For TLG, I actually believe Artemis' daemon would disappear at first ; because I love this scene from The Amber Spyglass, where Lyra has to abandon Pan so she can go to the Underworld - and I feel like in this case, it would be the opposite - Artemis' daemon refuses to go with him. Just imagine Artemis, actually terrified of dying, begging his daemon to not leave him alone, and her firmly reassuring him - "remember. we will come back, we decided and promised to. so I have to stay." That would be absolutely heartwrenching (as the original scene is), but also I feel a good depiction of Artemis' resolve being stronger than death. And then, imagine all the others (Butler, Holly, the parents, everyone else) suddenly see Artemis' daemon coming back, roaming around the grave. Refusing to talk for now, but being there - alone.

The cloning I think doesn't have particular implications ; it's only a mere corporeal form for the soul to inhabit, so as long as the daemon is still there, it's okay. The scene could even be quite touching... They'd bring the clone to the daemon, she's inspect it carefully, then after a few minutes, she'd just curl up into a little furry ball on the clone's chest and wait. And he'd wake up. Afterwards, Artemis would probably be able to be separated from his daemon like the witches. Maybe the clone and the daemon would have difficulties bonding at first, but at least she'd be able to help him with his memories. As for Butler's death in TEC, it would mean twisting a tiny bit how the daemons work in HDM, but I can imagine that the daemon has a few more moments after Butler dies before completely disappearing (as if his soul tried to cling to Artemis for as long as he could before fading away). Knowing that, Artemis manages to bring him to the freezer just in time for the daemon to join Butler in the freezer and sleep with him until Holly revives them both. I wonder if it would be interesting and meaningful to have Butler's daemon, by the time Artemis manages to put him to safety, be too exhausted from clinging on the world to crawl into the freezer with his human, so Artemis has to lift her up himself. As touching another's daemon is super taboo and forbidden, maybe it would be an interesting way, similar to Butler telling his first name to Artemis before dying, to show how strenghtened their bond is now that death has threatened to tear them apart and they would not have it. Also, Butler being the vulnerable one for once, and Artemis taking care and charge of him, whatever it takes and whatever rules of the universe he has to break in the process. I don't know because in HDM it's implied that touching another's daemon has a more mature connotation, and I wouldn't want this idea to be interpreted that way. I still think it would be sweet to see Artemis caring for Butler's daemon tho.

Well, these were my ramblings x') (as for what daemon would everyone have, that's another conversation and this post is long enough, but I might expand another time)

also the idea of AF plot with daemons is kind of upsetting, like wtf happens during butler and artemis' respective deaths. does butler's daemon fade away for that time butler is dead?? or does her body remain because artemis kept his brain on ice???

and for artemis' death.... if his soul was torn from his body but remained tied to earth, what does that mean for his daemon? his body dies but his daemon remains alive and conscious??? that would be so fucked up within the lore of daemons. my fucking god. like she's a symbol of hope and certainty that artemis can be brought back, but it's also horrifying and upsetting to see her walking around like a ghost, like something reanimated and fundamentally against nature.

how do these deaths affect their relationships with their daemons? or the invisible strings between them? like, would artemis' daemon be able to travel freely apart from him after his resurrection- oh my god i just remembered the cloning thing, what are even the repercussions and implications of that

Sooo ask about "Artemis Experiments Weird": is there any chance we'll see more of Selene? :3 her fate saddened me more that that of the other character... sorry for beating around the bush, I don't know how comfortable you'd be with such spoiler straight in the ask. You know what I mean, anyway :3

Thank you for the ask !! Yes if possible I’d rather that this particular spoiler you’re referring to is kept secret ^^ As for Selene, yes you will see a lot more of her ! What the epilogue hints at is that even though Artemis wiped everyone’s memories of everything (including her), he still told her “but I will not forget you”. So Selene has lost her corporeal form, but she keeps on existing as a memory in Artemis’ mind, and can talk with him like an annoying inner voice (fitting for his self-proclaimed conscience ^^). When Pareidolia Agent takes place, it’s been at least a year since they’ve coexisted like this, and they have started experimenting on whether Selene can interact with the world outside of Artemis’ mind… and it turns out she can ! It costs both of them a tremendous mental effort, but Selene still has some access to the Wired, and can remotely access computing systems and simple mechanisms… even, but it’s even more exerting for them both, do some form of “astral projection” and glitch her way out for a few moments, on a very short distance.

Now, will Selene be forever stuck as a ghost, chained to Artemis’ psyche, or will they find a way to truly bring her back - and in the meantime, how does everybody else feels about Artemis seemingly arguing with himself and somehow suddenly manifesting telekinetic powers… We shall see ;) Thank you SO much for this ask @laeliana !!! If you or anyone else has other questions please please please keep them coming :D

💚 Some Juliet sketches 💚

These past months have been a struggle mentally, but I’m recovering. I needed to draw our Jade Princess because this idea has haunted my mind for over three months and I needed it out, thus let me introduce : Juliet with a mullet 💅🏻 Just… because.

I’m happy with this drawing I think, it’s too busy but I like the watercolor style. I designed her based on Nonaka Miho ; because like, she has the loveliest smile, and she’s exactly how I picture Juliet in my mind. She’s also a badass !! 💪🏻

Holly as a half-elf half-goblin, as per Kitsune_Heart’s meta analysis on AO3. I dunno, it speaks to me. Isn’t she cute and feisty ? Just picture Holly, but she can throw fireballs. See ? Perfection.

… pitié je veux dormir T.T

Hope you don't mind if I just;

Send this to all your favourite moots and pass the pumpkin round! KEEP THE PUMPKIN TRAIN GOING 🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃

Happy Halloween in advance!!! Your art is amazing, and your opinions are 100% correct, have a good day/night.

Aww... Thank you, you're so sweet 🧡

𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙼𝚛. 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚜,

𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟻𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟸, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝙼𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚊 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚜, 𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚢, 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚊 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝.

𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚖𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚍, 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖 𝚖𝚢 𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚗'𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚆𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝙻𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎, 𝙼𝚛. 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚜, 𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚖.

𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚎, 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍, 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚜. 𝙸 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝙸 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍'𝚜 𝚐𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚜.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚝𝚜, 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎, 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚛 (𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚞𝚐𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚔𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚝!) 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚋𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚖, 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏:

𝚘𝚗𝚎 (𝟷) 𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚌 𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚕𝚍.

𝙸 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚊 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝.

𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛.

𝚂𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢

𝙰𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚜 𝙵𝚘𝚠𝚕 𝙸𝙸

BPD awareness month apparently.

the diagnosis felt damning at first, not gonna lie… but it’s just a part of who I am. it’s also been helpful, to have a key to help me understand why - why do I always feel so empty and hollow ; why does the simple idea of rejection and abandonment makes me spiral into frenzied panic ; why I can’t seem to love like normal people ; why does cutting red lines in my skin so often feels like the only solution ; why I always seem to see people as my best friends, all the while knowing I am not their best friend - and why that hurts so much. what was helpful was also to see that all of these feelings, they exist within everyone. they are part of the human experience. bpd is just that - human feelings and experiences, with the volume and intensity pushed to the maximum.

it’s painful. stigmatized, too. but in the end, it’s only human.

… it’s hard to be human. but even if it often doesn’t feel like it, I exist. we exist. we are not monsters. we are only human.

Had the passing thought the other day of like… that one scene in TEC where Fowl Senior has just woken up and Artemis immediately begins rattling off stuff about the family finances and like… I know how people usually interpret that scene but hear me out:

Artemis immediately doing so because he’s a kid and he’s been essentially all alone trying to keep all their finances secure (to save his father in the first place) and he’s worked so hard on it, and like… when a kid needs someone to fix something, who do they usually turn to first? A parent.

So Artemis starts rattling it off like “great we can both work on this now, cause now my dad’s here” and then five minutes later he’s thinking “shit!! my father’s doesn’t want to fix it!!”

Busy loving half goblin Holly by @eldewinddolly