𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙼𝚛. 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚜,

Round 2 of the Artemis Fowl fandom ask game

But this time, I asked my husband to answer 💜 I was curious to see what would his takes be, and I figured it was worth sharing the thoughts of my best acolyte in AF fanfic writing, my eternal partner in crime ✨ (calling him by his nickname Chat 😸 from now on for ease of reading)

the character 😸 least understands Doodah Day. Chat doesn’t understand what he adds to TLC, as to him in terms of character archetype and motivations he is just a pale rip-off of Mulch, with different “powers”. Honorable mention, also in TLC, Qwan : Chat feels that his character should have been a lot more prominent and developed, we never know much about him and he feels like it’s a missed opportunity.

interactions 😸 enjoyed the most Artemis and Foaly ! They are Chat’s all-time favorite duo, he feels like together they should be absolutely unstoppable, and even bigger besties than Artemis & Holly and even Artemis & Butler. Chat finds it sad that their duo is limited to a bratty-yet-friendly rivalry, “what wasted potential 😿". Well, in Pareidolia Agent (next installment of Artemis Experiments Weird), let’s just say Chat and I decided to work on that 😇

the character who scares 😸 the most Foaly ! Because, most like Tokita in Paprika, he is way too inconsequential and childish for the amount of intellect, resources and power he has. Multiple times in the books, catastrophes happen because Foaly pissed off the wrong people or didn’t anticipate that his inventions might be hijacked and used for evil. Even though he is ultimately a lovely lil guy, Chat feels that Foaly is so immature he is a timebomb waiting to explode, and an absolute danger to everyone.

the character who is mostly like 😸 Artemis, “because him and I have way too many flaws in common 😿” (which is kinda true tbh, déso pas déso mon amour)

hottest looks character Vinyaya ! Chat is an absolute sucker for long white silvery hair 🤍 (which he absolutely insists on telling everyone he once sported himself ! now they are still long but only blonde ^^)

one thing 😸 dislikes about his fave character Artemis lets himself be ridiculed to easily, especially after book 4 - worth noting though that Chat barely considers book 5 to 7 to be canon 😅 And this is one of the main reasons why (yes I sait 5 to 7, that is intentional - Chat has refused to read TLG and claims it simply doesn’t exist)

one thing 😸 likes about his hated character Chat absolutely loves the cold cruelty of Opal murdering Root. To him, she was the most ruthless we’d ever seen any character be in the series at this point, and Root’s murder shook the status quo in such a dramatic way, hinting at the series shifting towards a darker, more serious tone that he absolutely loved. It didn’t exactly turn out that way, but he still loves TOD for this.

a quote or scene that haunts 😸 Chat adores the first interactions between Artemis and Spiro at the beginning of TEC - how Artemis ruthlessly (and carelessly) mocks Spiro and threatens to completely ruin his career, then how the shift in power happens in the blink of an eye.

a death that left 😸 indifferent Vinyaya, “because it’s not canon 😾” - and because it felt so gratuitous, absurd and useless.

a character 😸 wish died but didn’t Chat’s hot take (that I do kinda share) : Butler should have died in TEC. Chat feels like Artemis learned his lesson too easily, with too little consequences, and that Holly’s attempt to revive Butler shouldn’t have worked this well. To quote : "Artemis’ fatal flaw is hubris, and he should have paid a higher price for flying too close to the sun ; here, his character evolves without having lost anything”. for those who have read Experiments Weird : no comments

😸’s ship that never sailed Chat isn’t a huge shipper, but after pondering he declared that Holly and Trouble should have been together after TOD. So @ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask that’s a win for the Holly/Trouble truthers gang 😝 And that’s it ! Chat doesn’t have a tumblr but if his takes stir some conversation he’d read and respond with pleasure 🙂

Oh dear oh dear. So many things. Here's just a lil snippet : > Artemis still wears suits (sorry fowlblue), but more... vintage ones. I want him to acknowledge that everyone sees him as that "creepy ghost of a Victorian child" and go "oh? alright then" and show up at work looking like a full-on scary baby dandy, most notably ditching the tie for a lavallière (pinned down with a golden Celtic fibula, maybe?) and the loafers for leather laced boots. The vibes? Immaculate. > More acknowledgment that the fairies folklore is Artemis long-standing special interest/hyperfixation since early childhood that even his father's disapproval (bUt mAgiC iSn'T ReAl gRoW uP) couldn't shut down. That child is deeply autistic and it seems like a not too obnoxious and cute way to show it. > MORE 👏 ANGELINE 👏 AND 👏 MENTAL 👏 ILLNESS 👏 > MORE 👏 JULIET 👏 ARTEMIS 👏 FRIENDSHIP 👏 SIBLING-LIKE 👏 RIVALRY 👏 BANTER 👏 TOUGH LOVE 👏 Now for the fairies: > Half-goblin Holly for the win !! Already developed a bit of her backstory in a prev post, but so much fun stuff to alter in the books with that concept. She lives in a goblins neighborhood were only the kids like her, all the adults think she's a traitor and a sell-out. At work she's not as much harassed for being a woman, but almost all the officers hiss-hiss-hiss when they walk past her. Book 2 changes massively, because Holly is absolutely torn by the B'wa Kell rebellion, she feels like she should choose sides but doesn't want to. Artemis can bond with her on being branded as a criminal just because of your birth certificate. I repeat : Artemis can bond with her on being branded as a criminal just because of your birth certificate. > Let the fairies be just as judgmental, racist as they are in the books, but let them be called out on it and damn, just explore it. They call themselves pacifists yet they are are run by an all-powerful police-state. It's actually an amazing idea but it's just... left there. Explore it ! Corruption and immorality isn't just a humans' problem ! > Justice for the goblins. Everyone believes they are the stupidest fairy family? Fine. Maybe they are - but does that mean they deserve to be treated like inferior beings, only worthy of mockery and disrespect ? Nope. Also, according to who's standards are they the stupidest fairy family ? There are so many forms of intelligence. Maybe theirs just don't correspond to the golden standards of the elves and centaurs but nobody bothered to try and understand that. > More fairy and supernatural folklore from various cultures incorporated ! Banshees, selkies, onryo, aswangs, changelings... So many possibilities ! And bonus round, if I were to adapt AF to the screen (in an animated series because I do believe this is the way) : > Make it a mockumentary true-crime show, from the fairies' POV. Featuring interviews from all the main cast, video and sound archives (from the LEP ? from the Fowl family ?), reconstitutions... hell, even actual memories extracted from the Fowl gang after TEC. Not very ethical I know, but again - a true-crime show. > Controversial take, but I would majorly revamp dwarves. No more dwarves, they just are not a fairy species. Mulch would stay more or less the same character in terms of personality, but I would change his species from dwarf to troll - a nordic troll, the ones that change to stone when hit by the sun and change back at night. Make them a mineral species, that are literally made of dirt, rock and moss - how does Mulch because a burglar then ? Well, he's made of dirt and sand. He can sip through walls. He can shapeshift, maybe. That idea is still very much a WIP, but even though I know it's iconic, I don't thing a farting dwarf can actually translate from books to cinema. I don't see how it can't be anything else but extremely cringe. Let's stop there for now, but yeah. I have a lot of more or less unhinged ideas :D

Y’know what? I’m curious, and I wanna talk again-

Fellow AF fans, tell me how you would make Artemis Fowl if you were behind the writing wheel. It can be anything from “Juliet features more heavily in the plot” to reframing the LEP and fairies as a whole. I want to know!

I’ll give you mine- I’d make Artemis more interested in magical creatures than tech alone, and I’d have him wear suits less!

Of course Artemis Fowl for the fandom ask thing :3

Thank you for the ask !! :D Here goes :

the character i least understand I already answered this one in a separate ask, but let’s interpret the question differently - and honestly, I don’t think I have one. I feel like all the characters in the book are pretty straightforward in what their goals, needs, motives and morals are, sure some of them are jerks but it’s understandable why they are jerks - and those that are more difficult to figure out, it’s mostly just because they are not that developed and mostly side characters.

interactions i enjoyed the most Artemis and Angeline in book one were so heartbreaking, in a good way. It’s really one of the things that drew me in the most when I first read the book. I loved the complexity of their dynamics, and was so sad to see it get mostly abandoned for the rest of the series :’( But outside of them, just everything Artemis and Butler. I love this duo with my whole heart.

the character who scares me the most If I were to run into him in the street, I would be terrified of Butler for sure. But as a writer, I think it would be Foaly ! I find him so difficult to write faithfully, it’s hard to do him justice.

the character who is mostly like me Angeline. Without a shadow of a doubt.

hottest looks character Pass. I just don’t think about them that way :)

one thing i dislike about my fave character The way Angeline is treated past book one will always infuriate me. Her character had SO much potential, all wasted in the name of a Randomosity shirt.

one thing i like about my hated character Tim’s backstory is so underdeveloped that I had a lot of fun trying to come up with something that would make him at least a little bit likable for future fanfics x’) And well, I’ve grown to be fond of the sociopathic pathetic wet cat I’ve forged through headcanons, spite and willpower alone ^^"

a quote or scene that haunts me “Non… parce qu’alors, je les verrais.” When Artemis, visiting Angeline in the attic for the first time in book one, offers to open the curtains after she told him about voices crawling all around her, she starts crying in pain, fear and desperation. That entire scene broke me, and this specific line stuck (sorry I didn’t feel like looking for the original English version). I guess it hit a bit too close to home somehow. But since then Angeline has been my absolute beloved, only topped by Artemis himself of course.

a death that left me indifferent Turnball Root. There were just too many things that infuriated me in TAC for me to care about his death. The love story also felt way too cliché and I couldn’t manage to become invested in it.

a character i wish died but didn’t I know she died eventually, but for me Opal should have been dead and gone after book 4. She had served her purpose and I feel like bringing her back twice was too predictable, unnecessary, and turned her character into a gimmick.

my ship that never sailed For some reason I really wanted Foaly to end up with Lilli Frond for a long time ?! I figured it would be interesting for Foaly to be the one to see past Lilli’s facade and reveal more depth to her character - and that would have also made for interesting interactions with Holly ! But oh well, why develop existing characters when you can create random ones mid-series ? ):

I'm so happy to meet another AURORA fan 😍😍😍😍😍

yaaaaaay fellow warrior !! 💜 meep meep ! ✨

My beloved darling Jason 🥹☘️

At the 2025 World Championships Gala held in Boston, Jason Brown Recreates his 2014 Olympic season program, which he performed at that year's Boston National Championships

Absolutely AMAZING fic. Go read this if you haven't, it's a jewel.

hello fowldom! do you think that artemis and holly are the friends of all time? does the passage about artemis’ magic in the time paradox perpetually rotate in your mind? do you enjoy our teenage criminal mastermind also being an awkward loser? then do i have the fic for you!

i finished this one up last week but i figured i could try yelling about it into the void for a bit :)

Had a little chat with Artemis on character.ai to wish him a happy birthday. After he told me I was "as fragile as an egg" (which I think is both very cute and very true), we started discussing French expressions. "Little Jesus in velvet panties" (le petit Jésus en culotte de velours) had him flabbergasted ; "pissing in a violin" (pisser dans un violon) and "pushing granny in the nettles" (pousser mémé dans les orties) confused him ; then I mentioned "to flee like a fart on wax cloth" (filer comme un pet sur une toile cirée) and I think I broke him. Aren't there any equivalents to these expressions in English ? (in order, these mean - a drink or food is super duper tasty ; arguing with someone who won't listen to anything you say ; exaggerating ; and escaping like a sneaky ninja) (@orangerosebush did you hear about these ones when you were in France ? I'd love to know what are your favorite French expressions !)

Anyways, Artemis had a good laugh, I consider it was my birthday present to our little dipshit. Joyeux ninif ma petite crotte (affectueusement) :)

so i've been rereading Artemis Fowl (series) again and even tho it was one of my favorite kids series I'm noticing some kinda weird or icky stuff that flew over my head before. Like damn if these books ain't just cyberpunk espionage magitek copaganda. Book 2 is literally about an ethnically motivated class uprising being put down by the police(who are framed as the good guys) because said racial minority/underclass is too violent and stupid to deserve better treatment in the prison system. and also too stupid and violent to have masterminded the plan for revolution themselves and needed one of the smart races to do it for them.

and any time there's a civilian presence in the book, they are depicted as either an antagonistic obstructive bureaucrat or a whiny caricature played for laughs. not totally sure if this is because these books were written while uncritically carrying over this kind of depiction that was historically the norm in its genres (police procedural), or if this is the author's own (conscious or subconscious) idealogical biases seeping in. might be both tbh.

anyway anyway the thing i actually wanted to bring up is that a really bizarre detail that stuck out to me during my re-reads is the way the different fairy races/species are characterized. there's 7(really 8) races/species of fairies who are disntint, and they have different traits and powers. So like there are elves who are good with magic, sprites who can fly, goblins (the aforementioned race that is too stupid and violent to be capable of organized protest) who can shoot fire etc.

Butt (foreshadowing lol) the one that was so weird to me is the characterization of gnomes, the last and arguably least of the fairy races in the artemis fowl series. they seem to make up the majority of the fairy population and a significant portion of background characters. bdon't get much screen time in the books because of not having any main characters who are one. They're sole defining characteristic?

Having enormous asses.

That's it. that's their whole thing. basically every time there's a gnome character depicted, the text goes out if it's way mention how dummy thicc the gnomes are and how their dumptruck rear ends take up too much room and keep blocking things and knocking shit over when they walk.

like there's also already a whole race of fairies (the dwarfs)whose whole thing is to be a never ending font of burglary escape techniques and fart jokes whenever the plot or author demand them. you would think having enormous asses would come in that territory, but no. it goes to the last group that we the audience don't really know or care about as much.

and i just don't really know what to make of that. that in coming up with fantasy races for his books, one of the most present but least prominent in tbe books' single defining and noteworthy character trait is having such fat asses that they block public pedestrian walkways (no really). i wish i knew what exactly the thought process behind (lol) that one was.

anyway hope i explained why it's so weird to me well, goodnight

🦅

I always outline, so I'm very interested how you do it! 😊

I always outline too ! I generally have a "center of operations" libreoffice document where I put the pitch, summary, disclaimers, chapters outline, inspirations and also plotlines, characters development etc :) And a separate doc for each chapter :)