I’m A Failure And An Embarrassment

Please let me be free

It's all my fault I've ruined my own life and now I have to deal with it and instead of taking accountability like a man I'm threatening suicide like a pussy and this is why I don't deserve to live and why I should be killed I am actually so evil I’m not kind I’m not nice I’m not thoughtful I am actually genuinely so evil

I need to fucking kill myself

I miss my mom so much I can’t stop bawling my fucking eyes out

I’m repulsive to everyone I love

Everybody that I love or end up in a relationship with are all the same they all think I’m disgusting and repulsive and will leave me I fucking hate romance it’s dead to me and I would rather fucking end my life then ever be romantically involved again it has done nothing but hurt me and kill me and make me feel so small and insignificant and hideous and ugly and stupid I fucking hate everything

I try not to be so pessimistic or nihilistic but it’s like there is nothing to be happy about for me today was actually a good day but it all came crashing down when I realized everyone I love doesn’t care about me nor do they see me as a man and they see me as some hideous disfigurement of a person and they would all like me better if I had a fucking cock I hate myself so much I just wish I was likable

What’s the point of any of this

I don’t have anybody i. don’t have anyone I am freaking out I just want to be left alone

I can’t keep being alive I can’t keep doing this over and over again I just fucking can’t

I don’t have anybody

If you aren’t mad at me then why the fuck are you ignoring me you dumb piece of shit I fucking hate you I fucking hate you so much if you aren’t mad and worried why aren’t you taking me seriously why the fuck won’t you just speak up like a real fucking man instead of being a fucking pussy you fucking idiot