Ahsoka With A Little More Skywalker In Her, Killing Palp And Only Returning To The Order To Train Leia

ok so i have this hc that’s like immortal!percy except it’s not because he accepted the gift.

we know that the gods are basically manifestations of culture and that they can change and disappear because of changes in culture.

and percys been through horrible things and has done incredible things and he’s basically legendary around camp. and we have fannon where he’s known all throughout ny boarding schools as this troubled, potentially dangerous kid. and the whole country has heard of him as the kid who fought off this gunman and fell from the st. louis arch and maybe they start to make connections.

so picture percy fighting a monster one day and getting like impaled and everyone freaks out, only to remove the weapon/horn whatever, and gold ichor is pouring out and then the wound just closes.

he storms olympus like “i said no, i don’t want this, what the hell” but the gods are all shocked too. because it wasn’t them. it was the people. they made him a god through their awe and fear.

(A spin off of this post. It is very highly recommended to read it first if you haven't already)

@alls-well-that-ends-weird

*cackles*

Bruce sat at his desk, his hands sternly folded in front of his face. Damian sat in the chair in front of him, staring defiantly.

“Damian… We need to talk about the kids. And the animals.”

Damian stuck his nose in the air arrogantly with the manner of a man who knew he could not lose. Normally an admirable feat against Bruce “Brucie” “Batman” Wayne, but this was Damian Wayne, formerly Al Ghul. What he wanted, he usually ended up getting—with or without permission.

“I don’t know what you're talking about, Father.”

Bruce stared at him, just a few degrees shy of his batglare. “Damian. In the past three months, you have acquired twenty-three toddlers, seventy two cats, fifty dogs, an uncountable number of fish, another cow, three deer, and a random assortment of other animals. Not only that, you adopted Colin, and gained partial guardianship over Jon.” Bruce started full on glaring. “I don't know how. I don't want to know—actually, I do, if only I can stop you from doing more. But that's not the point.” Bruce leaned forward, eyes narrowing. “No more. Send them back where they came from. They need to go. Now.”

Damian examined his fingernails delicately. “No.”

“Damian—”

Damian grinned evilly. Bruce tensed in anticipation as Damian opened his mouth and spoke in an overly loud and dramatic voice.

“BUT FATHER YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM LEAVE—”

Bruce's beautiful, original mahogany wood doors burst open, shattering against the walls.

“NO!”

It was the children. And the animals. God, so many animals. They were all screaming at him in their shrill little voices and all their noises like a demented chorus. Was this his punishment? He knew he wasn't the best father in the world, but surely he didn't deserve this?

“NO!”

“THAT'S OUR BABA!”

“WE WANNA STAY!”

“I WAN’ BABA!”

“Yeah Mr. Wayne,” a horrifyingly familiar voice said over the waves of small beings, quieting them to whimper and sobs, “Don't take us away from ‘Baba’.”

There, walking into his office with stupidly big devious grins on their faces—the exact same one as Damian’s, the little snots—were Colin and Jon, both clearly enjoying this entirely too much.

They walked up behind a smug Damian (who was drowning in cute animals and tiny orphan children—no! Stay strong Bruce!) and wrapped their arms around him, pouting.

“Gosh, Gramps,” Bruce felt a stab in the chest as Colin sniffed in mock distress, “I just got a big family, you can't take them from me now! Baba promised we'd all have a loving and comfortable life.”

“Yeah Grandpapa!” Jon pouted, his eyes tearing up in his deadliest puppy dog eyes. Bruce felt another stab in the chest. “I've got such a big family now, and I can't let my new siblings down now, you know? Baba promised we could all stay together!” All the children nodded along with him, eyes teary and noses sniffing with puppy eyes they clearly learned from Jon.

That little—

“Well Father?” Damian smirked. “You wouldn't make me a liar now, would you? Not to my precious family?”

Bruce had the sinking feeling that this would not be the last conversation about this. He also had the sneaking suspicion that he would win exactly none of them.

Bruce dropped his head in his hands and groaned.

God, what would he tell Clark?

inspired by x

Their war is their life. And their life is a weapon.

The one (1) time when Bella convinced Emmett to go to a rave, and under the impression they couldn’t get high, took multiple (219) substances from multiple strangers. The above photos were taken hours before the drugs Hit and they disappeared for 3 weeks. Finally, Esme recieved a call from South Dakota, where the Chaos Twins had successfully franchised a string of Waffle Houses. Carlisle’s internal scream lasted an entire year.

the thing all sherlock holmes adaptations get wrong is making the guy an irredeemable asshole who treats everyone like shit . not only is it not reflective of the original stories they miss that “nice, smart, well mannered dude who snorts coke when he needs to think” is possibly the funniest character ever devised 

moments before the end of the world

The Sugar Baby Ben AU

The premise: Obi-Wan and Anakin from the end of ROTJ get sent back to the Jedi Temple during TPM. Obi-Wan is confused, Anakin is confused, Mace Windu is very confused, and Vokara Che is also very confused. (It’s fine, it’s not like anyone relies on the Jedi for their intelligence anyways.) 

So what happens after they get where and who they are sorted out?

Well:

Anakin kills Sidious. He may be small, and blond, and just the cutest little kid, but he has several decades worth of fury directed at the man, and he’s still pretty much a Sith Lord (if a reformed one). It is very violent, and very worrying to anyone who sees it except for Obi-Wan. (In the absence of any convenient reactor shafts to toss the bitch down, Anakin resorts to a combination of lethal use of the Force and a blaster, just for good measure. They’re cleaning Sidious’s guts off his office carpet for years after the fact.)

Then, while the Jedi are trying to get a handle on the fact that (a) Sith exist, (b) time travel exists, and © the tiny adorable boy Qui-Gon Jinn brought back actually is horribly dangerous, Anakin runs off. He grabs his mother, slaughters a couple slavers indiscriminately, which Shmi feels obligated to chastise him for, even if she isn’t that horrified, and they go to Naboo.

To everyone but Obi-Wan’s surprise, Anakin lasts about two weeks on Naboo. A month or so later, the Jedi start hearing rumors about a small, dark-cloaked figure with a red lightsaber who leaves entire slave markets to burn. They don’t hear about the woman with him, who holds him back and calms his rage, who can stop her son when he needs to be stopped and hold him when he needs to be held. (Obi-Wan knows that she’s there anyways, and he sends her the number of a good therapist.)

So, what is Obi-Wan doing during all of this?

Short answer: scandalizing every jedi on coruscant

Slightly longer answer: scandalizing every jedi on coruscant by having ridiculous amounts of sex

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thewillowbends replied to your post: thewillowbends replied to your post: …

Skywalker visions are rather interesting because they’re almost always true, even if they vary on details? I actually spend a lot of time wondering if part of why Anakin’s premonitions are dismissed by the other Jedi is because they quite literally don’t realize how powerful he really is.

It always felt to me like the PT era Jedi were very workaday about their superpowers. It had become mundane to them and some of it was the lack of epic battles with the Sith, some of it was negotiating trade agreements between bureaucrats and corporations, but a lot of it was honestly that they did not experience the Force as mystical. That was the realm of old wise ones like Yoda or wild cards like Qui-Gon. Anakin himself is explicitly mystical, as presented by Qui-Gon, but there is ambivalence from the Council and outright rejection from Obi-Wan (obviously your kid isn’t magic; he’s your kid). So, I think Obi-Wan tries to navigate a path where he finds plausible everyday explanations for Anakin’s visions and other Jedi probably find themselves torn between disbelief and fear that it really is true, there really is a Chosen One walking among them, and what does that even mean?

@charmwasjess well. you know what to do now. get searching