Listen Captain Jack Harkness Doesn’t Forget A Bitch And U Know He Heard Rose And Nine Talking About

The Official Jedi view on politics is that they try not to interfere and do not trust politicians, but if they are running out of options on how to settle an issue they will tell Padme Amidala what is going on and just unleash her onto their problems

As amusing as it is to me that Anakin goes stalking around the Temple in the darkest colors (because we all need to know about how Tortured his soul is,) given that Anakin also hates actually talking through his issues, what if he’d gone the other direction and worn like, the loudest, brightest, happy-go-lucky-est ensembles ever, because LOOK EVERYBODY I’M FINE IT’S FINE EVERYTHING’S FINE JUST LOOK AT MY FUN AND FANCY FREE CLOTHES, NOPE NO DARK SIDE TEMPTATIONS HERE.

Obi-Wan: [getting ready to leave for Utapau] Anyways I’m off to take care of Grievous and – I’m sorry, Anakin, but what are you wearing? Anakin: [head to toe in pink sequins, a light-up flower crown on his head] What do you mean? Obi-Wan: …is everything all right, Anakin? Anakin: [laughing nervously] Wh-what? Yes, of course everything’s fine. Would, would a man about to betray the Order and go on a murder spree be dressed like this?! Obi-Wan: [concerned] Excuse me?! [feeling his forehead] When was the last time you slept? Anakin: Ha! I’ve been sleeping, obviously, it’s, it’s not like I’m wearing a ton of concealer under my eyes, or that that’s why I’m wearing these ridiculous oversized sunglasses indoors! [shoving him onto the ship] Anyways Obi-Wan, have a safe trip, I will definitely be totally fine when you get back. Obi-Wan: [staring skeptically out the window of his ship, yelling through the glass] We’re going to discuss this when I return, Anakin! Anakin: [pretending he can barely hear him] Hmm? What’s that Obi-Wan? Oh, sure, I’ll water your plants for you! Don’t worry; I am absolutely definitely totally fine! Bye now!

(Anakin and Padme would have some interesting shopping trips at least, that’s for sure.)

Custody Battle

An outline for an atla fic that I will probably never write but was fun to make anyway.

when Zuko first becomes the Fire Lord, all the other nations are, of course, not super excited that the previous Fire Lord’s SON is on the throne. I mean, seriously Aang, didn’t we JUST fight a war to get rid of this guy’s father? why would we expect his son to be any different?

He is, Aang says. You’ll see.

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Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

Crack AU where Anakin can all of a sudden hear the background music that we all hear. Those pleasant chats with Palpy become a lot more ominous. Though Anakin admits that the fights have become a lot more epic. Thoughts?

Hahahahaha. Love it!

And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”

Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.

Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.

(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)

watched this for the first time when i was 14 i think? it saved me

Road Trip

[Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka, traveling through space] Anakin: [piloting while drinking a soda through a straw] [still drinking] [runs out of soda] [still making loud drinking noises] Obi-Wan: [slight eyelid twitch] Ahsoka: [playing something on her phone] This…is really boring. Can we stop for a bathroom break? Anakin: There’s a refresher on the ship, Snips.  Ahsoka: [dramatic sigh] I just wanted to get a change of scenery. This is taking forever! Obi-Wan: Now now, Ahsoka, patience is an essential element of being a Jedi. [sotto voce] How much longer do we have left, Anakin? It’s been ages. Shouldn’t we be home by now? Anakin: Not too much longer. [under his breath] About three days.  Ahsoka: What?! Obi-Wan: Three days?!  Anakin: Well I thought I’d discovered this great shortcut. That maybe turned out to be a hyperspace lane going in the opposite direction. And normally I would have noticed sooner but I kind of…fell asleep.  Obi-Wan: Anakin! Ahsoka: [covering her face with a travel pillow] Oh my gods…three more days of this… Anakin: Well I’m sorry, but it sure seems like my former Master should have woken me up, except that the old man fell asleep earlier than I did! Obi-Wan: Oh, so this is my fault? You choosing an unapproved alternate route without telling anyone is on me? Ahsoka: [throws a candy wrapper at Anakin’s head] Anakin: Young lady, that is not model Padawan behavior! [takes another long, loud sip from his empty soda] Obi-Wan: [scowling at him] As if you’d know anything about model Padawan behavior.  Anakin: [throws the candy wrapper at Obi-Wan]  Obi-Wan: I feel my point is proven.  Anakin: [pointedly takes another drink] Ahsoka: Oh my GODS, please STOP DRINKING THAT! Obi-Wan: [grabs it out of his hand and throws the can across the room] This! Bloody thing! Is empty! [all three of them yelling at each other] Mace: [popping up via holo-Skype] Kenobi, Skywalker, Padawan Tano: is everything all right? We expected you back by now. Do you need assistance?  Anakin: [nodding] Oh, Master Windu, we’re fine. Just a little…uh… Obi-Wan: …traffic! Congestion. A very large…construction…project.  Ahsoka: [nodding and smiling] My Masters have got it all figured out. Don’t you worry, Master Windu! We’ll be home soon! 

bruce uses his Dad Nicknames when he’s exhausted. Some examples to explain what I mean:

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“Damian, baby, kiddo, please drop that sword.”

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“Cassandra, my only daughter, my sweetheart, if you could just stop for one short moment.”

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“Dick, my first born, my rock, get off the chandelier.”

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“Jay, lad, you’re driving your old man insane, chum.”

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“Brilliant, brilliant Tim, please go to sleep.”

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“Stephanie, honey, you don’t even fucking live here.”

Chiron: A lot of famous people were actually demigods. Amelia Earhart, George Washington, Harry Houdini…

New Camper: Is there anyone current that I would know?

Chiron: Have you ever seen a True Crime Documentary on the kidnapping of Percy Jackson?

New Camper: Wait… are you talking about the kid who blew up the Gateway Arch????

Chiron, wiping away a single tear: We’re so proud.

I have $24 to last me til Friday, what should I buy with it?