Rex: When I First Met Anakin, I Thought To Myself, ‘when The War Is Over, He’s The Order’s Problem

a collection of seemingly unintentionally profound shitposts that fill me with a viscerally intense feeling of existential awareness

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Hunger Games didn’t really eat holes in my brain the way that it did for some other people but god the opening lines. The opening lines. Katniss wakes up in bed and immediately, instinctively reaches beside her, only to find the bed empty and cold. Before we even know her name – before we know literally anything about her or this world or her place in that world – we know that she loves someone. We know that she is reaching for where Prim should be, sleeping safe and warm beside her, but Prim is not there. She is not there, and her half of the bed is cold and empty. People talk about characters being “doomed by the narrative” when most of the time the character was literally just a well-foreshadowed death, but Prim WAS doomed by the narrative. It’s the very first thing we learned. It’s the most key, integral, important piece of information we’re given about everything that is about to happen: Every single choice Katniss makes is to protect her little sister, and it isn’t enough. In the end, Prim still dies. Prim was dead before the story even started. Katniss, reaching. Prim’s side of the bed was cold and empty. There is no version of this story where Prim could have been saved. Katniss, reaching. The very first thing she does in the series. She wakes, and she reaches, but Prim is already gone. THAT is how you do Doomed By The Narrative. Edit: Also it is key that there was literally nothing Katniss could have done differently. If she had not acted to save Prim, Prim would not have survived the Hunger Games. But by acting to save Prim, Katniss accidentally kicked off an entire rebellion and ultimately massively increased the amount of danger Prim was actually in. The key is that this is irrelevant. If Katniss had done literally anything differently, Prim still would have died. If Katniss had faltered or changed course at any point, Prim still would have died. There was never a point where Katniss could have changed Prim’s fate. There’s no version of this story where Prim lives to see the end of it. She’s dead before the story begins. That’s doomed by the narrative.

aug. 18

Obi Wan has no fucking chill

ok as amazing as Twilight of Apprentice was how funny would it have been if Ahsoka was just beyond done with Anakin’s bullshit™ and just screamed “FUCK OFF SKYGUY” everytime she saw Vader

“The man you knew as Anakin Skywalker is de-”

“Cut the shit, Anakin, I know it’s you. You just flew in standing on top of your TIE fighter and there’s only one fucker in the galaxy who’s that extra”

THIS TOOK A MILLION YEARS

stuff that happened in the past decade

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

Imagine Luke Skywalker on his island trying to ignore the force ghosts of his old masters.

Obi-Wan and Anakin falling into their old patterns. Imagine them being all stuck together for years.

I’m not just pretty, no, I’m pretty damn good