A Collection Of Seemingly Unintentionally Profound Shitposts That Fill Me With A Viscerally Intense Feeling

Females?? From me?? Crazy...

I gotta make- like- a shopping list of characters, I've got Cass and Dami on the list, Jon Kon and a few others too- I wanna go draw snuggles now- (tomorrow tho- it's like 10)

okay this took me so long but i think it was worth it

The only reason I can't imagine the whole Ani/Obi/Satine/Padmé foursome is because that Anakin and Satine have to share Obi-Wan. Just... that's a disaster waiting to happen. Poor Padmé, having to listen to everyone complain. God, imagine date night? Do they have a schedule???

I AGREE. It might end up with everything In Perfect Balance where they all live happily ever after, but it also could easily just end up being a total disaster. 

While I’m at it, I’ll get up on my soapbox, because I really feel like as a fandom people give Padme way too much credit for “being the sane one”. She’s married to Anakin, you guys. ANYONE is going to look like the sane one by comparison. It’s why Obi-Wan seems Staid and Calm and Rule-Abiding despite the fact that he’s constantly jumping out of windows and chopping off people’s limbs. 

Padme is just as extra as the rest of them. She’s always tearing down hallways firing a gun while wearing a prom dress and a tiara, or marrying a dude she’s known for 45 minutes, 20 of which included him committing mass murder and then yell-crying about it. I love her, a lot, but let’s be real here, people: Padme is probably not going to crank down the drama here. So in this scenario, not only will Satine and Anakin be possibly trying to kill each other for Obi-Wan’s affections, I feel like Padme’s going to either A) put on something scandalous in an attempt to lure Anakin back over by her, because she is NOT gonna lose to Obi-Wan, or B) throw herself at Obi-Wan in an attempt to make Anakin jealous (of her? Him? Who cares; both works!)and/or snare Obi-Wan for herself.😄

Imagine if Darth Vader had raised the twins.

Darth Vader rolling in to the local PTA meeting and arguing with the moms about cookie recipes

Bruce posts three types of posts on his social media (which includes Facebook, and Instagram because Tim said he had to have them or he’d be fired from WE)

The first is posts about where he’s working out. He likes to challenge himself in more places than just the cave so he goes to a bunch of different weird places.

Some of his top workout photos include:

Bruce doing pullups off the side of the WE building

His cliff diving off of some of Gotham’s most famous cliffs

The one time he was spotted chasing Damian up a children’s jungle gym (this was more of a Damian get down incident, but it was also tagged MY SON and Workout)

The short video of him literally swinging through the trees in one of Gotham’s parks

Him swimming out to one of the bouys in Gotham’s pier

The second is where he eats:

When Bruce isn’t eating at the manor he’s usually on a date or at some charity thing so he posts about these often. Most of the time he’ll talk about the charity, discuss his food, or talk about the person he’s with. 

The Batkids get very interested if he’s posting a lot about a woman. They’ve learned how to tell how serious Bruce is about his current date by how much he says about their date on FB. They also keep close tabs on his relationship with Selena this way, because it’s easily more reliable than either Bruce himself or the Tabloids.

The third is his kids. Some favorites are:

The time Bruce posted on his FB: “Just went shopping with Tim and learned the ingredients in a Red Bull, needless to say they are off the shopping list forever”  

The infamous Steph winning the Waffle Eating competition Facebook and Instagram cross post. During this event Bruce gave a moment by moment break down of the contest, right up to the point where Steph won then proceeded to ask for ‘another plate of waffles.”

Multiple shots of Damian looking put out at a meeting or a charity event, even more shots of Damian beaming while accompanied by animals. A favorite on Instagram is him with Batcow.

A lot of selfies with Dick, mostly of them doing mundane things like eating ice cream or arm wresting, there is also the rare photo of them working out together.

The famous shot of Bruce and a ‘mystery son’ (aka Jason) washing a motorcycle together. It looks like it belongs in a magazine and is captioned: Bonding Time. A lot of the comments for this read like: They look so happy.

The FB post where: “Cassandra and I just finished watching Inside Out, and we’re both still sobbing”

And the follow up post including a picture with Cass surrounded by plush figures of each of the characters, an ear-to-ear grin on her face captioned: Got her these because she loved the movie so much #Best idea ever

The Facebook post announcing that Bruce and Barbra started a team for the annual GCPD charity run and anyone is invited. A ton of people signed up and they raised a record amount of money that year. Plus Bruce got a great photo of him and Barbra together at the finish line.

The short video he posted of Duke trying to teach him how to skateboard cross posted on both Facebook and Instagram. This sparked a Meme of Famous People on Skateboards where people Photoshopped faces over Bruce’s in the video. (His favorite is the one someone did of Superman. He sent it to the League the moment he found it)

Hands down, everyone’s favorite posts are the ones that include the entire family, most of these come in the form of Instagram posts, but the Facebook conversations that happen in the comments are not to be ignored either.

We need to bring back the athletics body type post

a short poem on loss. words by vomitingwords.tumblr

clone wrs season is upon us, ahsoka warriors we ride

reblog for anons to tell you who you are out of the members of the batfam, birds of prey and the justice league

And a Happy New Year

Clark: [Walks into Wayne manor with his family] Hello everyone! Merry chr-

Bruce: [marching to and fro like a drill sergeant in front of Tim, Steph and Jason, looking furious]

Clark: -istmas?

Bruce: [menacing] which one of you did it?

Tim, Steph and Jason: [looking bored] ...

Bruce: I know it was one of you. Which. One.

Jason: You 'know' it was one of us? That sounds a little presumptuous.

Steph: Yeah. I came here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Bruce: Of course it was one of you three!

Jason: [gasps] Oh my god. Bias.

Tim: This is sexist.

Bruce: what?

Steph: We're being victimized. [flips her hair] I feel unsafe.

Bruce: [stops in front of Tim] Tim. You're the sensible one. Who was it?

Tim: [dramatically] You accuse us of wrongdoing yet you lack even the slightest hint of evidence. For shame.

Jason: Shoddy detective work is what it is.

Steph: What would Gordon say?

Jason: You know. It really breaks my heart that you would just ASSUME that one of us did it. Really shows who you trust, huh, batman? God forbid you'd interrogate DICK.

Bruce: assu- ASSUME? In this family there are THREE people who would EVER even THINK to tie someone up, cover them in glitter and put them on top of the christmas tree. [points viciously at the slightly worse-for-wear pinetree] AND IT'S YOU

Steph: [studying her nails] sounds like sexism to me

Tim: [arms crossed] circumstantial at best

Jason: [grinning] got any FACTS to corroborate that accusation B?

Bruce: I-

Damian: [from the doorway; his clothes, hair and skin covered in glitter] It was Todd and Brown. Though I do not doubt that Drake assisted in planning it.

Tim, Steph and Jason: ...

Jason: OBJECTION

Clark: ...

Kon: [trying to stifle his laughter]

Lois: [to Clark] We're not having any more children. Two is enough.

They’re having a very serious conversation about Cody’s behaviour (being mean to uncle Ben)