I Have Such Respect For You! You Are Lovely.

On Celebrity Gossip

So I was at the grocery store today, where I work, working. And next to each check-out, there are racks of magazines. And on these racks are magazines such as People, OK, InTouch and Star. And would you like to know the main topic of the cover page headlines on these magazines? It doesn't matter cause I'm gonna tell you anyway.  Kim Kardashian's weight.  I'm serious. I don't know if you've been following this riveting story, but apparently Kim's pregnant with Kanye's baby, and she's eating a lot during her pregnancy and she put on a lot of weight and now Kanye doesn't love her anymore. Oh, and Khloe has been reported to have said "I'm the hot sister now." This is all information that I surmised simply by reading the covers of these magazines while I didn't have any customers! I can't even imagine what awful, sordid details I might find in the pages.  Like honestly, there are so many levels of wrong that I could talk about. So many societal issues that sicken me. But I'll just take one for now. 

Blazoned across one of the covers, in big yellow letters, were the words, "six months pregnant and already 200 pounds".  Um, excuse me, but in what universe is it okay to broadcast a woman's weight on the cover of a magazine? You and I both know that precious few of us will admit our weight to even our closest confidantes, and yet it's okay to tell the whole world Kim Kardashian's weight? Why? Why is it okay to talk about private matters like health crises, addictions, relationships and such just because these people are actors, or musicians, or royalty, or politicians? Why is it possible for me to pick up a magazine at a doctor's office and find out Kim Kardashian's weight or Jennifer Lawrence's bra size (36C, in case you're wondering)? Why are we so obsessed with these people's lives? Why do we thoughtlessly participate in the violation of their privacy? Why is it that their daily lives are a consumable commodity to us?  WHY DO WE EVEN CARE?  You know what, I don't even know why. I am legitimately asking you. I think it's despicable how much we crave it. We just can't get enough! Oh Angie's jealous because Brad still has feelings for Jen! We eat that crap up! We are so desensitized to the humanity of celebrities that we analyze and judge and ridicule their lives as if it means nothing.  Because of this, I am a fervent boycotter and protester of reality tv. Why is 16 and pregnant even a thing? How did this happen? Or the bachelorette? It is not possible to fall in love that fast! We are taking serious life events, like choosing a partner and having a baby, and turning them into entertainment! That is not okay.  See, these people aren't characters on a show. They seem like it, but they're not. They're not the protagonist or antagonist in your favourite book, movie or show. No one made them up. No one gave them strategic character flaws. No one made them heroes. No one invented a history for them. They're real people. They have lived through situations and circumstances that made them the way they are today. They make choices that affect the rest of their lives. They have feelings and talents and struggles and goals and dreams. They love, they hurt, they fear and they triumph. They experience the same range of emotion you and I do. It still hurts when someone calls them fat. Somewhere in the world right now, they're actually living and breathing. Just because you don't know them personally and they live far away, doesn't mean that they're immune to your criticism and caprice. It is still not fair and not okay to talk about them as if they're invented characters. It's still not okay to pick apart the details of their lives. We've all made really stupid mistakes. We've all messed up badly. But none of our mistakes get published in the tabloids. When we mess up, the whole world doesn't have to know. 

So please, I beg of you, don't be a part of the industry. If you don't watch reality tv, or buy the magazines, or read the websites, that's awesome! Keep doing what you're doing. If you do, pleeease, stop. Have some empathy and compassion for your fellow human beings. Let them live their lives without your commentary. And live your own life instead of reading about someone else's. It's like a reality tv show, except nothing's scripted, and you get to decide how it ends. So much better than normal reality tv, amiright?  Goodnight my darlings! Hope I gave you some food for thought.  Love,  Katherine

Insecurity  Four-part Rant of the Day Part 3

I'm Turning 20 In 10 Days

"I've come so far but I've got so far to go." 20 strikes me as a very odd age indeed. You're two decades old. You're no longer a teenager. You have a different digit at the beginning of your age. I mean, you've had the same first digit since you were 10 years old. And we can all agree that 10 is a very young age. It's a big deal. You're entering into the decade of your life where so many things are supposed to happen. Between the ages of 20 and 30, you might finish post secondary education, start a career, fall in love, move out, get married and have kids. All of those things might happen while the number 2 is the first debit of your age. And I'm not gonna lie, that freaks me out. Adding to my disquiet is the fact that one of my friends is 20 and got engaged just the other day. I'm thrilled for her and panicked for me, and it's implications regarding the stage of life I am entering. Might I add that it did not help when my father said "that's how old I was when I got engaged." It does not worry me that I am single and will not be engaged at the age of 20. What worries me is that I might be expected to be engaged at the age of 20. There's only one day's difference between being a teenager and being an adult. Teenagers have a reputation for doing dumb stuff. But adults are expected to make informed, logical decisions in life changing situations. I know that 24 hours is not going to make that big a difference in my decision-making skills. 20 is a grown up age. But it will not belong to a grown up life. I still live at home. I still ask my parents' permission. I still eat Nutella with a spoon. I still have stuffed animals. I still hate homework. I still have sleepovers. I still get stupid little crushes. For all intents and purposes, I am a child! And yet I feel as though at the age of 20 I'm supposed to undergo some transformation and move out and have a career and find a mate. And then you begin contemplating the future. Do you know what it feels like when all the moments yet to come have weight and they press down on you? When all the breaths yet to be breathed turn to lead in your lungs? When you're suffocating under the expectations of others and your own expectations for yourself? The future is heavy with paths to be chosen, mistakes to be made, hearts to be broken, prices to be paid. Like a stormcloud with rain, it's full of successes and failures, joy and sorrow, triumphs and disappointments. And you begin to wonder, how on earth am I to weather these storms of life without an umbrella? I'm not entirely gloomy about this birthday. I know the future has limitless potential for optimism and that life is what you make it and I'm very excited to become an adult! I can't wait to move out and try new things and explore brave new worlds. That being said, I'm also straight up terrified. And with that thought, I bid you goodnight.

What is your biggest regret? None of that "i don't have any regrets" nonsense. Everyone regrets something.

Haha wow, you’re strict! Alright, I promise, no nonsense. To answer your question, it’s not quite that I don’t have any regrets, but I’m too young to have any serious regrets. I regret things like…dating a guy who was too young for me. (That was my biggest regret for years) For a while, I decided that what I really regretted was breaking up with him before I was ready, and not letting the relationship just run its course. Now I’m back to regretting dating him in the first place. I regret dating a guy who didn’t share my faith. I regret not writing down the phone number a guy gestured to me through an airplane window, cause that would have made a great story, but now it’s just a “what if?” I regret being an immature child who was accidentally insensitive and self-righteous and judgmental at times when I came into contact with people who were hurting. Most recently, I regret not taking University seriously and expecting to get my marks as easily as I did in high school. So you know what I mean, I regret little stuff. Nothing that I’ll carry with me to my dying day and whisper on my deathbed. But I agree with you that everyone regrets something. I don’t subscribe to the “it was exactly what you wanted at the time” or “never regret something that made you smile” mentality. I know I’ve made mistakes. So, so many mistakes. Countless mistakes. And there are lots of times that I know I hurt someone and I would like nothing better than to erase that decision I made so that the person wouldn’t be hurt anymore. But that’s life. My mom told me that no one expects me to be perfect (except me) and when we screw up, all we can do is apologize and keep moving forward, trying to do better everyday. Maybe if I’m lucky, my regrets will always be little, silly stuff like they are now. But if I was a bettin’ woman, I’d wager that someday, I’ll have a really big, really painful regret. But I hope when that day comes that I’ll remember that I can’t hold on to my regrets forever, and that I’ll be able to forgive myself and accept my imperfection and embrace the love and grace that God offers me despite me constant failings. :) Peace and love! -Katherine 

how do you feel about sex before marriage? where do you draw the line? i'm struggling myself in a new relationship. I don't know what's ok before marriage and what isn't for me. what are your opinions.

Okay, so…given my lifestyle in 2014, it would be hypocritical and counterproductive for me to tell you, “you can’t do anything! nothing at all! hands off! this is a kissing-only zone!”. Not only because that is not representative of all of my experiences, but also because it doesn’t really help you arrive at any kind of real conclusion for yourself. If you are a Christian like me and believe the Bible, you would agree that God is pretty clear about the “no sex before marriage” thing. What sometimes gets debated depending on people’s interpretation of the Bible is what actually, *teeeeeeechnically* constitutes sex. Mainly I think that this is because we tend to look for loopholes so that we can do the stuff we want to do without having to feel guilty about it because it’s “not technically sinning”. So you’ll see different definitions from different people. Some would say that “real sex” is only the insertional kind, that is, the kind when the penis enters the vagina. So not only is that super heteronormative and binarist, it’s also a very conveniently technical definition, which ignores how very nuanced the situation is. Some would tell you that the only thing you’re allowed to do before marriage is kissing. Some would say it’s not even that. One of my friends has a definition of sex that dictates that all parties involved must have an orgasm for it to be sex, which essentially disqualifies a lot of heterosexual encounters. I have a broader definition. I personally think that anything involving the genitals qualifies as sex. Whether it’s hands or mouth down there, or even if there’s layers of fabric in between, I think it still counts. This definition has not been formed based on theoretical morals or a sense of superiority. It reflects my personal experiences. And based on this definition, I’m not really uptight about wandering hands, as long as they avoid the crotch. That right there is a stance that’s quite a bit more liberal than some people. 

Now, all that being said, my personally-held belief is that God tells us not to have sex before marriage to protect us, and to preserve the sacred bond of matrimony. Lots of people use sex as an easy high (like I used to) but its real purpose (besides reproduction) is to strengthen interpersonal bonds. Sex causes the release of the hormone oxytocin, colloquially dubbed “the cuddle hormone” which gives you all the warm and fuzzy feelings and makes you feel attached to the person you had sex with. That’s why casual sex has the potential to be really emotionally and psychologically damaging if someone doesn’t know what to do with those feelings. But sex has been God-ordained to build intimacy between you and the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. 

So the first question you really need to ask yourself is “when do my actions cross the line from fun, playful and affirming, into intimacy-building territory?” And you will know. That oxytocin is powerful stuff, man. The level of trust and vulnerability you need to be intimate with another human is no trifling thing and you will know when you feel like you’re building bonds with this person that might need to be saved for a later time and a more cemented relationship. You will also know when you’ve achieved a level of intimacy with someone that you weren’t ready for. My hope for you is that you never experience that, because it kinda sucks. So you need to figure out where your own line is for you. I’ve told you what my definition is. That being said, have I always and do I always adhere strictly to my own boundaries? No. Because once you’ve crossed the line, you become desensitized, and it’s hard to go back. So the best piece of advice I can give you is to be proactive and figure out where your line is before you cross it by accident, cause it’s a lot harder to cross back to the other side of the line. In saying that, I must caution you that the line is in different places for different people, and you may be less desensitized that I am, so just be careful to figure out where your line really is. And your line might be different from your person’s line, and then it comes down to not causing other people to stumble. So it’s important to know where your line is and where your partner’s is, so that you both can feel safe and comfortable and at peace with the physical aspect of your relationship. 

The second question you need to ask yourself is “how close do I want to get to the line?” That translates to, “where are wandering hands allowed to go?”, or “in what situations will we allow ourselves to experience that closeness?” (hint: in bed in an empty house is a bad idea if you’re not so great in the self control area) and “are clothes coming off or staying on?” It can be a really slippery slope, and the more “breathing room” you give yourself, the happier it will be. If you go aaaaall the way right up to the line the very first time, you’ve put yourself in a very precarious position because one little slip up could be disastrous. If you start off far away from the line, a little slip up is like “oh okay, still not a big deal because we still haven’t totally crossed the line.” 

I do not want you to experience the guilt and shame that I experienced, the stuff that comes with moving too fast and not caring enough. So like, go you for asking this question and for giving it some thought. I know it can be really tricky. I encourage you to think long and hard about it so that you can be proactive and so that you know what choice you’re making. I am not a huge believer in like “oh it just happened! it was an accident!” I think you need to know what you’re doing and you need to own it. 

Finally, be gracious with yourself. I know you’re gonna work really hard at this, but we are not perfect people, and if human nature is any indication, you’re probably going to make mistakes. You are not damaged goods. You are not ruined. A friend of mine once told me that grace is not a once had, once lost kind of thing, and neither is purity. Yeah, sexual sin is given a fair amount of screen time in the Bible, and I believe that is because of the repercussions that sexual promiscuity can have for us in this lifetime. But all sin is equal in the sight of God, which means that yes all sin is equally transgressive but also all sin is equally forgivable. Do not permanently condemn yourself for anything, because God doesn’t do that and neither should we. 

And of course, the best advice is to keep God at the centre of your relationship and pray about your relationship. If your ultimate goal is to foster a God-honouring relationship, it’s a lot harder to disobey him in that relationship. 

Good luck! If you know me in real life you’re more than welcome to contact me through any medium to chat more. If not, you can always ask me more questions here. 

Peace and love! 

- Katherine

Katherine Brown - Fill a Stable - Fill a Stable

Hi friends! This is me SHAMELESSLY promoting my latest fundraising venture! I'm participating in World Vision's "Fill a Stable" event with my university society. It would mean the world to me if you would donate and help us reach our goal of $1200.00.  Thank you in advance :) With love,  -Katherine

I’ll return to Biblical womanhood gladly. Because Biblical womanhood is Deborah being called by God to lead the nation of Israel into victory. Biblical womanhood is Jesus choosing a woman as the first person to whom He revealed His identity as The Messiah and making her the first evangelist. Biblical womanhood is Jesus revealing himself first to women after His resurrection, trusting them with the task of telling His disciples. Biblical womanhood is Jesus inviting Mary and Martha to sit at his feet to be taught as disciples, valuing their presence there with Him instead of busying themselves with meal preparation and “women’s work.” Biblical womanhood is Paul calling Lydia and Priscilla his coworkers in Christ. Biblical womanhood is Priscilla teaching Apollos (a man) and her name being listed before that of her husband, Aquila, when the couple is mentioned in scripture. Biblical womanhood is Paul referring to Phoebe as a minister and a leader. Biblical womanhood is Lydia founding the church in Phillippi. Biblical womanhood is countless other examples of women, valued and empowered by Christ, teaching and leading right alongside men. 

Biblical womanhood is not a few taken-out-of-context verses, written to specific audiences and wrongfully universally applied, about women remaining silent in church and not having authority over men. 

It is time for Christians to stop ranking sins.

Frank Powell (via savedbymercyandgrace)

welp

(via poeticdarkbeauty)

Nowadays you see a lot of people quoting the bible with the aim of oppressing others. How do you feel as a Christian when you see things like that? How does it make you feel when you see people using some of these quotes out of context? Just wondering your thoughts on the matter.

Hey there :) 

How do I feel? I feel….angry, outraged, disapproving, frustrated and discouraged. 

I think, that as a body of believers, if we are going to call ourselves Christians, then we are required by our mandate to love others. It’s not that hard! Loving people is literally the highest calling we are given. I don’t understand what happened to us that somewhere along the way we lost sight of that goal and got mired down in the murkiest swamps of legalism. How have we become so short sighted as to think that good behaviour is more important than an authentic relationship with our Lord and Saviour? We have become so preoccupied with shouting at people that they need to change their behaviour that the simple Sunday School song “Jesus Loves Me” is completely drowned out. “Jesus Loves Me” is not just a a simplified message for people who are too young to understand theology. “Jesus Loves” is literally the foundation of our entire belief system and worldview! We are nothing if not for the two words “Jesus Loves”. Telling people that they are wrong and that they are going to Hell is by no means the way of showing them the love of Christ. It is the exact opposite of that! And it is completely counterproductive. 

Therefore, my humble opinion is that those who would hate and oppress others under the label “Christian” are falsely bearing that name and are slandering and besmirching the church, which is truly damaging to those of us who genuinely want to love on people and help the poor and whatnot. 

And don’t even get me started on using quotes out of context! Like, do you seriously expect me to believe that a scripture straight out of LEVITICUS with no theological, historical or cultural context is relevant to my life? Absolutely not! I believe the whole entire Bible is the truth but I also believe that some of it is a true account of events that happened a very long time ago and not necessarily rules to live by. That’s why people think that the Bible contradicts itself, when it in fact does not. You could throw a verse from Leviticus at me to support your premise while I could throw one back at you from Matthew which might completely unravel your argument. This is not because the Bible contradicts itself but because hypothetically, you were using a verse that is irrelevant because it is taken out of its intended context. 

So man like, I said this to someone today. If a church kid ever tries to tell you what to do or judges you for something, tell them to frig right off. Cause I’m a church kid and that’s not even close to the point. You’re never gonna hear the gospel over my judgment. 

Those are my thoughts on the matter! I hope you find them useful somehow! 

Peace and love!-Katherine

I've neglected the questions in my askbox for soooo long so I'm gonna answer them now sorry ok bye