What Is It That Keeps Me Diving In And Out Of This Mess, That Is My Heart?
what is it that keeps me diving in and out of this mess, that is my heart?
I keep getting closer, yet so farther away
I wanna be touched, kissed, smothered
but at the same time held, caressed and loved
but also choked, pinned, and slammed
all these feelings yet I ask you the same question
where are you?
can you please come home soon?
can you please just hold me a lil bit higher?
can you not complain that I'm being needy?
and can you also not complain that I'm being distant with you?
Idk how to heal ny heart
idk how to feel anymore
I feel rushed and crushed under this pile of my age
I've 20,21,22 and 23
everyone of them have felt the same
I wanna change and runaway
I wanna hide and bite and kiss you all at the same time
Idk my extent of my emotions
More Posts from Deepdiveintotheblue and Others
Please, not always, let people love you, they should
“How long will it feel like burning, said the child trying to be kind.”
— Anne Carson, from Decreation; Lines.
There's distractions and then the feeling slipping in between your ribs, and it doesn't go away It doesn't seem to have a cause or an end so you just keep yourself busy enough Enough to ignore it and sometimes forget it exists, then everyone goes home and you go home and it slips right back in between your ribs like it never left because it never did. Because there's nothing wrong Not with anything surrounding you, it's something broken inside of you, But I've never known how to fix that and at this point I don't think I ever will.
somedays, the urge to disappear from the face this earth is very enchanting to me
just like taylor would say
"My elegies, eulogize me "
On days where i want to be wrapped
around your arms
I want to be embraced in the warmth
Of your presence
— Hanif Abdurraqib, from “They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us.”
Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.
a love like that, all mine🫀
Joanna Glenn, from her novel titled "All My Mothers," originally published in 2021
Angela Carter, from The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; "The Courtship of Mr Lyon,"
fuck, just felt this emotion rn inside of me
this is not love, i'm a glorified doorstop .
[i don't smoke ~ mitski / please be rude ~ gigi perez / step on me ~ the cardigans / you can be mean ~ indigo de souza / wurli ~ dominic fike / jigsaw ~ conan gray]
