Im So Tired. Again. And Again. And Again.

i feel so bad to the point I wanna cut

also cry, but I can't cry so I'll just sit feeling like this

we are all born to die right? so is it wrong of me to speed up the process?

wanna cover myself and the bathroom floor in blood.

i wasn't even aware of that and now I'm very terrified for my account lmao-

today's wonderful. my chest fucking hurts like I cant breath but I'm breathing fine. I'm so fucking pissed at everything. i wanna throw hands at a teacher, I swear she's trying to fail me now, I wanna skip this stupid concert, I wanna yell at the director and how she's doing a shit job at teaching, I don't understand this math assignment and I have an A in math so I should understand but I don't, I don't want to stay till the bus I want to go home, its been three months since I've heard from A, I wanna fucking mess up my body and cut everywhere, music is not blocking out anything. FUCK THIS SHIT.

wonder how he'd feel if he knew and saw the extent of my cutting and scars.

he should leave me. i don't want to be cared about. (he doesn't care about me anyways, made that clear)

sure. I'll come back. I don't really care.

great im sick.

and it wasn't just a slow build. its like I got hit by a fucking semi today and immediately I'm sick with a ruined throat.

dropping off the Internet again (not posting or responding to anyone for probably a week again) and debate suicide

My ideal body is covered in scars but apparently that’s not an acceptable body goal