I Just Scrolled Forever To Find This Because I've Now Found That Posting Consistently Actually Gets Me

happy fiddauthor divorce day btw (this is 8 minutes late I know I'm sorry 💔)

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This took longer than I wanted it to take. The dialogue feels a bit clunky, but between a severe flare-up of my chronic hand issues and big changes in my personal life, I've decided it is not worth despairing over.

I hope this was worth the wait, either way. <3

(Do not repost here or onto any other website - reblogging is encouraged!)

First off, spin this wheel.

You just landed on one of 200 fandoms that have been very popular somewhere on Tumblr over the years. Topics were chosen either from appearing on a @fandom end-of-year recap or from my own long (long, long) site memories before that.

also all of these fandoms are definitely things that really exist in the real world and none of them are Tumblr creations

Reverse Portal AU but it's like The Martian and Ford is desperately trying to get Stanley home while Stan is trying to survive in the Nightmare Realm by growing potatoes and is also somehow recording audio logs.

(both of them are having mental breakdowns daily)

Madame Mystery

🫶Stan twins and their love lives,,,, much to think about🫶

In addition to this : the moment Steph marries Pete she also becomes played by Joey

Their children?

Joey.

Mr. and Mrs. Spankoffski are both played by Joey Richter

Love them to death mf.

Doof: "You see Perry The Platypus, about a few weeks ago I entered The Tumblr Sexyman Showdown. It's a contest for only the sexiest of men-- now now, Perry the Platypus, before you roll your eyes at me, it's not the conventional kind of sexy, no, no! It's the pathetic, the silly, the unconventional! Only for the acquired tastes. Like me~!! So I joined in, and you wouldn't believe it! I plowed through the competition! Bracket after bracket, I dominated the votes. That is, until the final round... when I was put up against Stanley Pines of someplace called 'Gravity Falls'-- for some reason, even though he claimed to come from a place called Gravity Falls and I come from the Tri-State Area, the competition listed me to come from someplace called 'Phineas and Ferb', and I have no idea where that is or who those people are--I was kicked to the curb! He won by a landslide! Well, not literally though, that's a metaphor--that's how Bill Cipher won against Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians, and I KNOW that place doesn't exist--b-but anyway, Stanley won and I only got second. And it doesn't make any sense! Sure, Stanley is similar to what the true Sexyman is, but he's not the greatest! For one thing, he's not that pathetic--jeez, if anyone is the most pathetic here, it's me! He's not that tragic-backstory-able, or anything, he--and worse yet, he's HOT! I mean, he's not that much of an acquired taste! Sure, he's older, but that's it!! Clearly, the people are biased! Which is why I made...THIS!"

Doof: "BEHOLD! THE UNHANDSOME-INATOR!!!!"

Doof: "With this, I can make anyone ugly--so ugly that their ugliness is JUUUST too ugly to be a Tumblr Sexyman! But too handsome to be truly ugly...and I can also tweak it to make myself just a little more handsome, hehe! With this, I will make the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA Sexyman ugly, and shoot myself so I will be the most acquired-taste-handsome out of all of them, winning the love of all of the TRI-STATE AREA, AND ENACTING MY REVENGE AGAINST THE TUMBLR SEXYMAN CONTEST!!!"

Doof: "--Or wait, come to think of it, this isn't really revenge, I mean, the contest's over and it won't come back until next year so this scheme prooobably should've been postponed until then... not to mention this inator isn't exactly that tweaked, it's a rushed job and has some...ahaha...side effects...unless I CRANK UP THE RANGE OF THE INATOR!"

Doof: "Yes, Perry The Platypus, I will become the most tumblr-sexyman handsome by proxy in all of the tri-state area AND GRAVITY FALLS, OREGON!!!"

| Meanwhile In Gravity Falls |

*Stan, reading the paper, suddenly looks up.*

Stan: "Something just happened."

*beat*

Stan: "...Eh. Who cares. Worse has happened in this town. It's probably the heebie jeebies from that German guy from a couple days ago, eugh."

Stan: "Worth it for the prize money, though. I'm still the sexiest man on all of Tumblr! Ahaha!"

*beat*

Stan, still grinning: "...whatever that is."

*A beat. Then the door to the Mystery Shack slams open. It's Ford.*

Ford: "Stanley! I'm back!"

Stanley: "Hey, sixer. Back from another one of your little adventures?"

Ford: "I suppose you could call it that! Ever been to the tri-state area? There are hundreds of anomalies there! Did you know that all the platypuses are teal there?"

Stanley: "Yeah, yeah...well, make sure to tell me later. I'm reading the paper."

Ford: "Well, don't get too absorbed. We're going to Italy tomorrow, remember? We're visiting the Vatican! Lots of great things to explore there! We might even see the pope!"

me, whenever there’s a conversation even remotely related to the subject:

if you puncture the lungs a body won’t float.