What If I Rewrote And Posted The 9 Page Story I Wrote In 5th Grade

I just scrolled forever to find this because I've now found that posting consistently actually gets me interaction so here's this again

Stan says tax evasion (ft bill cipher)

stan and ford make up all kinds of horrifying bullshit that they want done with their bodies after they die

awful shit like being cremated and made into shotgun shells or fireworks or something

it changes all the time but eventually reaches a climax when ford decides "i want to be butchered and eaten after i die!" and just. doesn't change his mind. i hc that the stans are immortal shut up you probably do too and just dont know it so it's not like that'll ever be put to use

BUT

one day ford goes missing. its been three days since the kids have heard from him and while stan isnt that concerned dipper and mabel are MORTIFIED. on that third day they're eating dinner and it finally clicks

"..grunkle stan? what're we eating..?" dipper says as he slowly sets his fork down, mabel following suit as she catches on with eyes wide as the plates they're eating off of

"eh just whipped up--"

"IS THIS GRUNKLE FORD!?"

just then, ford walks into the room with eight new rips in his coat and singed hair "um, no, this is. sorry kids i was out fighting bigfoot did stan not tell you"

and when dipper and mabel glare at stan he's just "ah. i knew i was forgetting something"

ok this is kinda dumb but i got an idea and i have no self control so-

Psychoanalyzing you based on your favorite gravity falls guy!

All of this is said lovingly!🫶 And most of this is just pulled out of nowhere (or a self callout. mostly that actually) so don't take it too seriously lol! i'm just here to be silly and have fun!

only did these 5 because theyre the most popular guys in the fandom rn and coming up with stuff for these took literally all day. and if i did every single gravity falls character then i'd just be here forever im sorry ;w; (theres two flavors for bill because ive noticed theres two very different types of bill likers as opposed to the others)

tag urself or something ilu!

🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊

🫶Stan twins and their love lives,,,, much to think about🫶

💂🏼‍♂️🩰✧ .⊹ ࣪ ˖

Merry christmas everyone!! ☃️🤍

“Made ya look!”

Hello, tumblr user. Before you is a tumblr post asking you to name a female fictional character. You have unlimited time to tag a female character, NOT a male one.

Begin.

If I had a nickel for every time Joey Richter sang to Curt Mega menacingly from atop a staircase (about silicon) I'd have 2 nickels.

Adding onto that, if I had a nickel for every time Joey Richter was held at gunpoint by a lover I'd also have 2 nickels.

Finally, if I had a nickel for every time Joey Richter had a scene in a Starkid musical (specifically a hatchetfield musical) that was extremely similar to a scene he did in a TinCanBros musical (specifically Spies are Forever) I'd also have 2 nickels.

2 nickels isn't a lot but it's weird that these things have all happened twice.

Was at the paper store because my sister wanted a jelly cat and in line to buy the thing I was singing my sister my dance song because I wasn't sure if she'd know the song by name (it was honey honey from mamma mia- our parents aren't fans so I've only seen it once and I'm not sure she's seen it at all) and the cashier looked up and asked if I was a singer because "sounds like it" and I'll be riding that high for the next week thank you random cashier🙏