Genie: I Will Grant You Three Wishes.

I cant believe this every real American can spot the second egg you actual turnip

Ivan's the interpreter between Alfred and the babushkas and that's why he can get away with crushing on Al openly cause Al will never know. The conversations are all like "You two are such a nice couple. When's the wedding?" "She said you're very friendly and you should visit more." "Oh, thanks! Tell her I think she's sweet." "He says the wedding will be soon. In Alaska." By the time Alfred tries to talk to the ladies himself they're supposedly married with 50 children, a cat and a fucking whale

THAT’S SO CUTE?? also god i can just imagine ivan and the babushkas talking behind al’s back like,

the babushkas when meeting alfred for the first time: [in russian] ivan! you never told me your boyfriend was so handsome!

ivan replying in russian: isn’t he? he’s got the prettiest blue eyes, his smile is dazzling, and when he laughs it makes my heart melt.

al, oblivious: haha what are we talking about?

ivan, immediately: i told them you drool in your sleep

Ayyy just an ace girl I drew

Alfred: let's play 21 questions you start

Ivan: uhh what's your favorite color

Alfred: triangle, do you like men

@howaboutyoudont oh no it's happening oh God oh n-

bro you better shut the fuck up before i look at you one day and feel warm and realize i’ve fallen in love with you bro. im serious quit it dude

Hey guys I wrote another fanfic this time it's Spamano please check it out

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21065774

How do you portray the emotion "I'm too scared to instigate anything but like I totally want you to kiss me"

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

H2Omies

Hey quick question: What if I enjoy both soda and water about the same?

Gotta cut out on the soda hommie.

Your blood will thank you