Cunfuzzled - Alfred Is A Chaotic Mess

Note to vacationing non-Americans: while it’s true that America doesn’t always have the best food culture, the food in our restaurants is really not representative of what most of us eat at home.  The portions at Cheesecake Factory or IHOP are meant to be indulgent, not just “what Americans are used to.”

If you eat at a regular American household, during a regular meal where they’re not going out of their way to impress guests, you probably will not be served twelve pounds of chocolate-covered cream cheese.  Please bear this in mind before writing yet another “omg I can’t believe American food” post.

Jesus fucking christ I was on some emo shit

This life is a monotonous cycle of suffering. I arise each morning exhausted to spend the day with unpleasant company doing unpleasant work. I return home only to suffer through more numbing work, and it matters not whether I have the time to enjoy myself, for I am too tired to do much more. It repeats day after day, week after week, with only a small pause, a brief reprieve, to give me a taste of what I cannot have. A taunting, teasing, reprieve. Not long enough to offer me the salvation I long for, only just enough to keep me going. Keeping me trapped in the cycle, keeping me conscious through the punishment.

Political activist on the streets, depressed bitch in the sheets

Gremlins Don't Make Pancakes

Mkay I'm done sorry about that burst of teenage angst

School is actually hell like why tf do I wake up at 5 every morning just to go and sit alone all through my classes and at lunch too surrounded by people i hate

Romano: Hey Spain....

Spain: Yes, Roma?

Romano: Do you get erections?

Spain: Yes, sometimes :)

Romano:

Spain:

Romano, whispering: The conversation died, what do I do?

Italy: THAT WASN'T EVEN WHAT I TOLD YOU TO SAY

Okay I drew a quick sketch of Nyo Molossia bc honestly what a babey

Ivan's the interpreter between Alfred and the babushkas and that's why he can get away with crushing on Al openly cause Al will never know. The conversations are all like "You two are such a nice couple. When's the wedding?" "She said you're very friendly and you should visit more." "Oh, thanks! Tell her I think she's sweet." "He says the wedding will be soon. In Alaska." By the time Alfred tries to talk to the ladies himself they're supposedly married with 50 children, a cat and a fucking whale

THAT’S SO CUTE?? also god i can just imagine ivan and the babushkas talking behind al’s back like,

the babushkas when meeting alfred for the first time: [in russian] ivan! you never told me your boyfriend was so handsome!

ivan replying in russian: isn’t he? he’s got the prettiest blue eyes, his smile is dazzling, and when he laughs it makes my heart melt.

al, oblivious: haha what are we talking about?

ivan, immediately: i told them you drool in your sleep

hOLY SHIT GRANDMA DIANE IS THAT YOU???

[i can’t tell what makes this so weird ]