I Cant Believe This Every Real American Can Spot The Second Egg You Actual Turnip

He has a mouth, doesn't he?

Would you ever fuck Amerimochi

I think the real question is HOW would you fuck Amerimochi

...maybe

me irl

My girlfriend: *exists* Me: *gay noises of panic*

Spent a while on this, sorta proud tbh

@howaboutyoudont I've found my people in the mafia side of tumblr

If you have $1,000 in cash and spend 1 penny, that’s the equivalent of Jeff Bezos spending $1.5 million

Ivan's the interpreter between Alfred and the babushkas and that's why he can get away with crushing on Al openly cause Al will never know. The conversations are all like "You two are such a nice couple. When's the wedding?" "She said you're very friendly and you should visit more." "Oh, thanks! Tell her I think she's sweet." "He says the wedding will be soon. In Alaska." By the time Alfred tries to talk to the ladies himself they're supposedly married with 50 children, a cat and a fucking whale

THAT’S SO CUTE?? also god i can just imagine ivan and the babushkas talking behind al’s back like,

the babushkas when meeting alfred for the first time: [in russian] ivan! you never told me your boyfriend was so handsome!

ivan replying in russian: isn’t he? he’s got the prettiest blue eyes, his smile is dazzling, and when he laughs it makes my heart melt.

al, oblivious: haha what are we talking about?

ivan, immediately: i told them you drool in your sleep

reblog if you belong in the lgbtqia+ community, I wanna prove my mom how gay tumblr is

Giveaways that someone is American, as told by non-Americans.

Forgien Mother with Homosexual Tendencies

Literally this is my plan in life so

For anyone who’s ever wondered who they’d be in a 19th century novel, the wait is over: I put together a 19th Century Character Trope Generator!

If you’d like to reblog, put your character in the tags because I’m curious.

W

What?

Yo what the fuck