How Crazy Do You Think The AO3 Authours Notes Are In Gotham?

I like to imagine hosea and dutchs reunion in the afterlife is like marty and alex’s reunion in madagascar where they run to each other both seemingly excited but then dutch realises hosea looks kinda pissed and hosea just starts chasing him trying to beat the shit out of his stupid husband for what he did to their sons

Who is gonna tell him?

john and jack if he hadn't run away for a whole year lmao (my art, i have a different username literally everywhere else)

What are the weirdest things Jason stole from the Batcave?

Kryptonite

The bat-plane's landing gear

The Discowing suit

A 5-foot-tall painting of Titus as a revolutionary hero

The Batcomputer's hard drive

Duke's sandwich

50 gallons of kerosene

Roy's trick arrows that Bruce confiscated

The dinosaur

The giant penny

An industrial sandblaster

The Batmobile's tires

Cass's pre-workout snacks

The ice cream Bernard left in the fridge for Tim

The bat-canoe

Black Mask's full criminal record

His own autopsy report

Bat-Cow

If you could live in one DC city, which one would you choose? Star City? Central City? Metropolis? Gotham? Or a different one?

All of them have their pros and cons

Star City

- Pros: the Arrowfam

- Cons: Ollie's chili

Central City/Keystone

- Pros: more mentally stable Rogues gallery

- Cons: the Midwest

Metropolis

- Pros: not Gotham

- Cons: gotta buy a new car every week the way they get thrown through your office

Smallville

- Pros: Kon

- Cons: corn

Gotham

- Pros: grunge vibes

- Cons: Gotham

AITA for not telling my brother that I lost my spleen?

Okay, so I don't think I'm wrong here, but he's been really upset (not mad, but he gives me these really sad looks that make me want to apologize over and over again).

Background:

I (m17) lost my father a year ago. My brother (N, m24) focused on my new little brother (R, m11, we just found out about him, mom not in the picture) because he thought I would handle myself. R and I didn't get along initially because we were jealous of each other and he took every opportunity to antagonize me. N took away something very important to me and gave it to R without telling me, and I found out when I walked in on R gloating. N's defense was that he knew I wouldn't take it well so he planned to tell me later, and that R needed it more. We argued and both said some things we wish we could take back.

(I don't blame him for any of this anymore, it was a very hard time for all of us and he was thrust into our father's shoes while grieving. We've talked, and I know he did what he thought was best for me and R, because he believed placing me as an equal to him would show that he trusted me. But he apologized for not understanding how much taking it away would hurt me and that I still wanted to be a kid, not an adult, and I apologized for not being more understanding of his position. We've moved on and are working on our relationship.)

Anyway, the main conflict was that I believed our father was still alive and nobody else did. My other older brother (RH, m21) was the exception, but he's estranged and didn't want to get involved.

(Side note: my siblings except for R are all adopted by our father, but I got emancipated after his supposed death)

N said I was going crazy due to grief and insinuated that I should be locked up in Arkham (an asylum in my city for the criminally insane). I chose to leave to find proof that my father was alive.

Fast forward six months and I found proof, but in the midst of it, I had to have an emergency splenectomy. When I came back and gave them proof to bring my father back, relationships were still strained so I didn't tell anyone. We reconciled in time, but I still didn't see the need to tell them as it wasn't important to them.

The issue:

A week ago, R caught a nasty flu. N wanted me to give him his medicine, I declined. N, frustrated because he thought I was just being difficult, told me to just be nice to R when he’s sick and that it won't cost me anything. I snapped back that it may cost me my life, not that he would care.

Something in N's expression shattered, and he let out a little, "what?" I remembered too late that I didn't tell him I lost my spleen. I tried to backtrack, but he kept pushing until I finally admitted I lost my spleen and under what circumstances. He was devastated, and I felt really bad for not telling him because he looked like he was on the verge of tears (he's really emotional, and that year took a toll on us and is still a sensitive topic). N asked whether it's because I didn't trust him, and I said I didn't know.

Ever since then, N has been hovering over me and bugging me about my health and diet and sleeping and working habits. He told the rest of the family and they've been overbearing as well.

N, however, still feels very guilty about the whole situation. I feel bad for making him upset, but I still stand by the fact that I did nothing wrong by not telling him. I think it was just unfortunate circumstances and that neither of us are to blame. R vehemently says that I'm the AH for never saying anything because my family and I engage in an activity that gets us injured frequently. He said I endangered myself and others by not telling them (he's worried about me and that's how he shows it, and probably also feels responsible about how I lost my spleen because his maternal grandfather was involved and he's got trauma surrounding him)

So, AITA?

Kate: Okay everyone, I am assigning all of us to our most difficult mission yet, possibly our whole careers

Price: We’re the core members of 141 Kate, we can handle any-

Kate: We all have to act heterosexual…

Price: KATHLEEN LASWELL! THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

Ghost: I DONT WANT TO GO BACK IN THE CLOSET MOTHER! PLEASE DONT MAKE ME!

Soap: MAMMA PLEASE NO! I DE NOT WANT TO GET A DIVORCE WITH MA HUSBAND AND BE HETEROSEXUAL!

Gaz: IT TOOK ME YEARS TO DISCOVER MY SEXUALITY MOTHER! I DONT WANT TO BE CONFUSED AGAIN!

Farah: I KNOW IM WITH A MAN BUT I DONT WANT TO BE STRAIGHT! PLEASE DONT MAKE ME! WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DISAPPOINTED YOU AND GET OUR SEXUALITY PRIVATE TAKEN AWAY MOM!

Alex: AFTER THE YEARS OF PRACTICE IT TOOK ME TO PREFECT SAYING I DONT KNOW MY SEXUALITY AND NOW I HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO SAY IM STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN!

Price: YOU ARE PUTTING THE CHILDREN IN DESTRESS KATHLEEN ! YOU HAVE BROKEN THIS FAMILY APART!

Nik, on a zoom call because he wasn’t on base and only needed to know the entry and exit plan: GO PACK YOUR BAGS CHILDREN, I AM TAKING YOU OUT OF THAT ABUSE FILLED HOME!

When you become a speedster it's just inevitable that everything you own will become part of the group for casual use because distance means nothing and you're in one communal unit.

So when Wally finally takes the plunge to a buy an airfryer everyone is quick to remind him that it's really...

Tim Drake Headcanon Time!

Ok but listen

Tim Drake drunk

I literally can’t stop thinking about this. Like, how chaotic does this boy get. I just imagine him being just like his sleep deprived and ‘I’m 3,000% caffeine’ self but wobbly and the Batfam has to monitor him constantly because:

He keeps completely missing his mouth when eating. One of them tries to feed him, but he just says some whack shit like “no, no, it has to be an airplane”

He will become an inch worm on a mission if he stubbles onto the ground and wants to go somewhere

This boy will try to drink sauce because he ‘thought it was juice’

If you look away for a sec, he’s gone quicker than Batman

Slurred “I’m gonna ddos Lex, again”

Distant feverish shouting of “TIM NO!-” heard throughout the manor

One of them found him on a floaty in the pool before

Moonwalks into glass doors

He’s been spotted on the fucking roof

Cabinets? He’s probably in one

Very slurred quotations of memes

“GUYS HELP!! HE SNUCK INTO THE CAVE!”

Jason just deals with the fact Tim has delegated him for piggybacking. Dick still tries to pry Tim off of Jason because, it’s Jason, he’s drunk too

Please, this is giving me too much happiness