What Are The Weirdest Things Jason Stole From The Batcave?

thank you sans and reigen for creating the perfect energy for today to happen

drive with all the photos, and youtube version

If Clark is kidnapped, he knows without having to ask that Bruce is going to hunt him down with the help of the entire Justice League. They’ll find him! He’ll be fine!

If Bruce is kidnapped, he’ll just sit there — maybe getting lightly tortured — and dread the arrival of all 17 of his kids, one angry Kryptonian without his emotional support human, Alfred having a RED moment, the Batcow, and all of the active JL members who don’t hate him right now (Hal Jordan will probably still come with, but he will complain the entire time)

Soldier: Calling our allies by their legal names!

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Soldier: Hey, Farah

Farah: *turns and stares at him*

Farah: Do I know you?

Soldier: ... no

Farah: Oh good, I was afraid I had forgotten another name

Soldier: Oh-

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Soldier: hey Alex-

Alex: What?

Soldier:

Alex: ... you said my name like you had a question? What was it??

Soldier: I didn't have a question

Alex: ... wasting my time- *leaves*

Soldier: ... Hey Alex-

Alex, immediately: Yea?

Soldier: *snorts*

Alex: AHH-

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Soldier: Sup, Phil

Graves: Ex-fucking-cuse me?

Soldier: I-

Graves: Nah- You don't have that privilege

Shadow passing by: Hey Phil

Graves: Sup

Soldier:

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Soldier: Hey [redacted]

Soldier: *immediately tackled by Chimera soldiers*

Nik: ... they won't notice you're gone

Jason todd, but australian

if he studied in his years abroad in the outback and not Europe and Asia.

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Bruce: Jason, stay here, you aren’t cleared for patrol. Jason: You’re dreaming, mate. Give me a fair go. Bruce: You have a serious concussion. Jason: She’ll be right. Pop some panadol and fuck right out.

- Jason: Awww fuck, I’m fanging for a cuppa. Dick: Jason, I’m begging you.

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Jason after being punched: He’s built like a brick shithouse, I’ll tell ya that.

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Bomb about to explode Jason: GUN IT! Tim: DON’T SHOOT IT! Jason running away: BOLT, ASSHOLE, BOLT.

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Barbara: Hood, do you need backup?  Jason: Yeah nah. 

Humpty Dumpty slander

my pronouns are they/he/it/the/fucking/pentagon

Price doing those embarrassingly gritty, try-hard ThruDark adverts for a bit of extra cash, which is all fine because most of it is faceless with voice overs, and then he happens to do the Price Toe Bounce™ at the end of one, and Ghost is in his office the next morning after it appears on his Instagram feed.

He places his phone down before his captain, hands flat on the desk, staring at Price as he watches the advert. With the exclusion of Laswell and Nikolai, no other man alive would spot the flicker over Price's face as he realises he's been made. Ghost smirks beneath his bally when he sees it.

"What'll it take?" Price asks, opening negotiations.

"Bottle of bourbon, wearin' Man City colours next game day and first dibs on the next kit haul."

"Ask me for a sexual favour, be less humiliatin'."

"Well, I can always send this t' Johnny, whole base'll have it by evenin' debrief."

"Fine, terms agreed. Out."

Ghost picks up his phone and hesitates. "That sexual favour still on th--?"

"Get the fuck out my office, lieutenant."

"Sir."

Very few people get to hear genuine amusement in Simon's voice. Price is one of those few.

Dick: Hey Jay- wait… um… is that your death certificate as your computer background.

Jason: Yea, wait it gets better.

Jason: *flips to next background to a picture of him crouching next to his headstone*

I want to remind people how much of a genius Johnny is.

Might be overshadowed by how silly we hc him to be, but i like to think he acted that way because he was also socially smart.

He knew not to act like a know it all if he wanted to get along with people, so he took the role of the 'stupid' one, even though he's not. (Reminded me of markiplier-)

He got into the military very young, and is now a demolition expert, he is smart smart.

Not only he's gifted at that and being social, he was also obviously skilled in combat.

So we have this guy who's not only brain smart, but also people smart, and a gym rat.

But that's not all.

He's also gifted in creative field, we could see a glimpse of it from his drawings.

And with all of that, i headcanon him to have photographic memory.

He's literally too blessed fr fr, he got all that AND looking cute as well?

That's why we have to nerf him by making him not getting any bitches