A Collection

Batfam's most suggested lunch spots

Dick: Bruce's office mini fridge after an important business outing

Jason: a Crime Alley dumpster where he once found a whole bag of gummy worms when he was ten

Tim: Jason's place after texting him from a burner number pretending to be Roy and Lian

Damian: Ivy's house—she makes vegan food with her worst-behaved plants

Duke: the only working vending machine at Gotham High, inside the teacher's lounge

Cullen: the Batburgers in the gay neighborhood with a secret Batwoman menu

Stephanie: the Waffle House where she was forced to out herself as Spoiler because robbers held it up in the middle of her meal, but to her surprise everyone in the restaurant agreed to keep her secret

Cassandra: the 24-hour convenience stores in Hong Kong where she can get an entire meal for the price of a bag of chips in America

Barbara: the GCPD break room—turns out tax dollars are paying for catering

Harper: everyone talks about Ma Kent's baking but not enough folks appreciate Pa's grilling

Carrie: a boardwalk vendor who combined pretzels and nachos

Kate: the Justice League cafeteria when it's Flash Fries Friday

Alfred: you would think he'd say his own cooking but it's actually the chicken shop near his old school

Selina: Arkham—she never wants to go back but she can't help but be nostalgic for her favorite mush

Bruce: he would say Alfred's cooking if Alfred hadn't flown back to England for chicken, so the next best is the steakhouse inside Wayne Enterprises

how crazy do you think the AO3 authours notes are in gotham?

"Joker killed my grandma with a reindeer whilst playing 'grandma got run over by a reindeer' and i don't think i can continue to write this JokerBat fic anymore guys sorry :/ it just feels disrespectful."

“Look, I get if Batman/Clark Kent isn’t your cup of tea, but the guy writes more about Batman than anyone else outside of Gotham. There’s got to be a reason, is all I’m saying.”

“And here I am, jumping on the Batman/Bruce Wayne train like the rest of our beloved hellhole. Anyway, if you’re not from Gotham you can keep your criticisms to yourself or I will not be held responsible for the bloodshed that will occur should you insult our beloved sunshine child and his goth sugar baby. You don’t know them like we do.”

“Hey, sorry I haven’t updated in awhile. I died and then got caught up in this whole my-father-didn’t-avenge-me angst thing. Which was completely justified in my opinion. Anyway…”

“Let’s be honest, this entire series is dedicated to the fact that Red Hood could crush any of us with his thighs and we’d say thank you.”

“I just read a fic shipping Nightwing/Superman and I mean, come on. The author is clearly not from Gotham but I can never unsee that and I think I should be entitled to financial compensation.”

“Sorry it’s been awhile, I just got a new job! With the Best Boss™️ (if you know, you know). Also, my boss said he’d give a hundred bucks if I wrote a Batman bashing fic? Thoughts? Ngl I don’t think it’d even be that hard.”

“‘WHy aRE yoU WriTIng ABouT FakE SupERheROes WHen THe rEAl oNEs aRE riGHt tHEre?’ Uh, because it’s Gotham and they’re all a disaster? And also because I don’t want to be haunted by the venegeful spirits of robins past idk. Thinking of doing a crossover though. Batman in the Avengers? Thoughts?”

“I just want my husband Nightwing to be happy, is that too much to ask?”

“I came across Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy on my way home from school today and will now be hyperfixating on that ship, thanks.”

“Leave me and my 235k word fic of Prince!Bruce/Knight!Batman alone you Metropolis and Superman-loving traitors. This is not for you.”

Hey there! So yeah more ideas I guess lol!

*In High School*

Dick: The pretty student council president who’s dating the hot captain of the track team.

Jason: The insanely hot ass bad boy who’s dating the even hotter captain of the archery club.

Tim: The introverted coffee addicted shy boy who’s dating the extroverted punk rock jock.

Damian: The walking definition of Satan’s spawn who’s dating the adorably bubbly country boy.

Barbara: The drop dead gorgeous genius who’s dating the schools newspaper’s editor in chief.

Stephanie: The bad ass cheerleader who can kick ass if she wants cuz she’s more then just a pretty face.

Cassandra: The rebel teachers fear her students wanna be her really she just vibing and gives no fucks.

Feel free to reblog/like!

i wanna talk about this shot

I like to imagine hosea and dutchs reunion in the afterlife is like marty and alex’s reunion in madagascar where they run to each other both seemingly excited but then dutch realises hosea looks kinda pissed and hosea just starts chasing him trying to beat the shit out of his stupid husband for what he did to their sons

Do you think Tim holds things over his brothers' heads whenever he wants something?

Dick- Aw, there's only one piece of pizza left

Tim- Mine

Dick- Or, we could split it

Tim- Or, it's mine

Dick- You know, sharing is caring, Tim

Tim- You know what else is caring?

Dick- Hm?

Tim- Not gaslighting your sibling into thinking he's insane

Dick- ...

Tim- Not taking Robin from him

Dick- O-okay

Tim- Trusting that he's been right about enough things in the past that maybe, just maybe, he's right about your father being alive-,

Dick- You can have the pizza, dude. Jeez

Yyyyy

Jason, seeing Tim laying across the entire sofa he wanted to read on- You can either move or be sat on, little man

Tim, not even looking up- Today is not the day. I fucking dare you to try me

Jason- Tim, move. I am bigger than you. I am stronger than you. I will crush you

Tim- Bigger, maybe.

Jason- Tim-,

Tim, locking eyes with Jason- How long did you last with Joker? Half hour?

Jason- Excuse me?

Tim, holding up three fingers- I dealt with Joker AND Harley. For three WEEKS. And survived

Jason- o.o???

Tim, getting cozy again- Get on my level, bitch

Yyyyy

Damian- You're delusional if you think you can beat me, Drake. I was trained by the best of the best!

Tim- The best of the best?

Damian- That's right!

Tim- When's the last time you checked on those 'best of the best' teachers of yours?

Damian- What are you talking about?

Tim- I'm talking about the fact that you might have been trained by them

Tim, leaning down to Damian's level- But I took them out

Damian- Wh-what??

Tim- Still want to spar?

1am in my modern au:

john is waiting to be bailed out of jail, dutch has seen the calls but decided to go to sleep instead. abigail is fast asleep while jack is watching markiplier fnaf gameplays on his crusty shoplifted ipad (he was watching peppa pig and got there by spam pressing recommended videos), hosea is all toasty warm snoozing in his bed without a worry, bill heard someone bought pringles and is tearing apart the kitchen trying to find them (tilly and karen ate them), arthur was aiming to arrive home at eight but some poor womans car broke down so he drove her back then someone asked him if he could help them find their cat and then someone-

mary-beth is reading fanfiction with full brightness on, tilly has been playing call of duty on her ps4 for the past 10 hours and has been threatened with homelessness at least 50 times for screeching, karen has just come home from the club and will be complaining non-stop about her hangover the next morning.

sean and lenny are deep in a bender and absolutely will eventually wake up still high and drunk in a bush or naked together in a hotel (its always been one or the other, they have never made it home) javier is playing just dance by himself, micah is playing law-breaker speed run (literally) and everyone else had the brains to go to bed at a reasonable time.

Arguing about who is Damian's favorite brother

Jason: Dickhead doesn't count! He's basically the brat's second dad!

Damian: Actually I already have a method in place to determine which one of you wastes of space is my favorite if I'm asked.

Jason: Oh? Don't keep us in suspense then.

Damian: It's simple really. Whoever has the highest kill count at the time is my alleged favorite.

Jason: HA! Suck it losers!

Dick: No fair! I killed the Joker!

Jason: What?

Damian: And while I would normally count that as at least 10, since Father revived him-

Jason: WHAT!?

Damian: Todd, we cannot stop to explain all of the family drama everytime you find yourself out of the loop. You will simply have to unblock us and rejoin the group chat.

Tim: Yeah Jason, get your family updates like the rest of us

Damian: As I was saying, since the Joker isn't dead despite your best efforts, I've decided that your count is at 5.

Jason: So I'm your favorite?

Damian: No. Your confirmed kills are between 20-40. Unfortunately, Drake is my favorite since his confirmed kill count is in the low hundreds.

Dick: I'm sorry. Can someone please explain how my Baby Bird has a kill count at all

Tim, trying to escape through the vents: YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL ASSHOLE!!!

Damian: You swore that you didn't touch my Taj Mahal Lego set. I guess we're both liars