You Said That I Looked Different

When is the last time

That i thought

For myself?

My mechanical brain

Made of gears and gold

Robotic and cold

I do what im told

And nothing exceeding

What was programed

In my bones

I'm curious why you don't use images in your posts?

It is my greatest hope that my writing is vivid enough that the mental picture it conjures would suffice (also I never thought about it)

The screen on the back porch tore last night

When the weather was so bad

My apathetic cat curled up beside me to ride out the storm.

You hated that cat but I called it mine

Long before I was yours.

We built the screen together "like a real couple"

The only project I ever talked you into.

I dreamed that we would sip our coffee in the morning air

Watching sunrise together, the two of us

With the cat purring in my lap.

We never used it once and you called it useless

And I didn't see the point in going out

If we didn't do it together.

But now the screen is ripped, the metal prongs pointed angrily at your chair.

It ripped

And you aren't here to fix it.

Staring here at the hole, sipping my coffee alone with that damn cat pawing at the mosquito that's breached containment

and I can't help but wish it all meant something

In the end.

-

Day 4/14

Everyone loves the fall, it seems

But nobody ever thinks

About the tragedy befalls

Every fallen leaf

Their blood has been sucked out of them

Like a vampire with it's prey

And their bodies tumble helplessly

Like rain on a chilly day

And that crunching noise you love so much

When you tread upon the leaves?

You're stomping on their skeletons

And crushing skulls beneath your feet.

I didn't want to be in love

You caught me by surprise

But I'm a coward, so in fear

I smothered you with lies

Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

There was so much more

That i should have said

So i look at the sky

And scream to the stars

The words that would've

Made you stay

Thoughts on Love #10

And with a single word, our love flickered to life. It started small, like a burning ember in a furnace, but soon it grew into a roaring fire. Every time you say my name, it burns brighter. My heart is on fire with love for you- and I know that no power on this earth could extinguish it.

I took a train to Amsterdam

To see something that's new

The lull of life had gotten to me

So I got away from you.