R E B L O G (i F)

Strade Endings Masterpost

So, time to post the Strade endings. All the endings have been posted, the list is numbered as going down the left column and then down the right!! Have fun with the Strade endings, some of these are pretty gruesome!!!

Strade was interesting to play through for sure!

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Imagine thinspo for myself, 14.2.20

it’s 9:00 and you don’t want to go to work.

you roll over in bed and reach for your phone, slender fingers quickly turning off your alarm. you sigh, stare at the ceiling, and wonder if there’s any way you could get out of it. until that time, though, you lazily sit up and put on your slippers. on the way to the bathroom, you pull your short hair back into a ponytail and yawn.

when you turn and look at yourself in the mirror, you feel confused for a moment... is that you? you see the girl in the mirror knit her brows together in confusion as she reaches a hand to touch her sharp jawline. her hand travels down her neck as she watches. moments later, she pulls the hair tie from her hair and watches her short, curly blonde hair fall in a chin-length bob, framing her slender cheeks wonderfully, accenting her brown doe eyes.

it’s you. truly, you have a hard time believing it. for months you lost yourself to the fact that you were to remain forever a chubby glutton, every time you looked in the mirror you saw the girl you were when ana came to you. now, for whatever reason, today you see who you became with her. a slender fae of a girl, sloping collarbones, petite build, big eyes and high cheekbones. you smile a little, a tiny sliver of white teeth peeking through your pink lips.

“hey,” you say quietly.

you think you can make it to work after all.

Just a Remind to Myself (TW)

If you hate being so ugly and fat, then why do you keep eating? Why do you keep doing things you promise yourself you’re not going to do? You’ve re-blogged it a million times, hungry hurts but starving works. Why cant you get that into your head?  It’s not that hard you know, stop eating. Make excuses. You have a weight loss foster family and you’re worried they’re going to notice your eating behaviors? You know they want you to lose weight. How they always mention your legs, the clothing they wear. How they describe you. It’s obvious they think you’re fat, oh wait, they know you’re fat. So, why cant you change it? For yourself and for them. It’s not that hard.  Stop eating.  Exercise. Stop eating. Exercise. Stop eating. Exercise. STOP EATING. Don’t you want to make people jealous, have them stare at you? You’ll only get there by hard work and motivation. So starve.  Just imagine how they’ll look at you when you come back from break skinny and dainty. The jealous glances, the snide comments, the looks. The Looks. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?  Your friends dont want to be seen with you, your family doesn’t want you, your mother knows you’re ugly. So change it before you cant.  Don’t you want to be your own thinspo? To be other peoples thinspo? SO FIX YOURSELF AND REPEAT AFTER ME I will be skinny before break ends I will be skinny before break ends I will be skinny before break ends I will be skinny before break ends I will be skinny before break ends I will be skinny before break ends I will be skinny before break ends I will be skinny before break ends I will be skinny before break ends I will be skinny before break ends I will be skinny before break ends I will be skinny before break ends  I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I wont be the fat friend anymore I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I will eat less I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I’ll stop craving food I will be the skinniest girl in my family I will be the skinniest girl in my family I will be the skinniest girl in my family I will be the skinniest girl in my family I will be the skinniest girl in my family I will be the skinniest girl in my family I will be the skinniest girl in my family I will be the skinniest girl in my family I will be the skinniest girl in my family I will be the skinniest girl in my family I will be the skinniest girl in my family I will be the skinniest girl in my family

oh my god this isn’t about recovery but haven’t we all thought this at some point

Eight Rainbows! WOW Lehigh Valley, PA [960 x 960]

Trying on old clothes is one of my fave motivations to keep going🤧

I need to get out of this binge mindset fast. I'm currently off school for the week and usually I use that as excuse to pig out because "I need to eat because my parents will get suspicious". Well, not this time. I've been regularly binging for most of February and I'm doing a hard reset to get out of it.

What that means;

No weighing myself for three days. Every time I do a hard reset I refuse to weigh myself because it only makes it worse. Whether those numbers are good or bad I will somehow find a way to use it as an excuse to binge so really it's easier to hold off.

No snacks. I'm gonna engage every coping mechanism I can and go cold turkey on snacks for this week.

No chocolate bars/ice cream/dessert. I've done this before and it went fine so I can do it again.

No eating at all unless I have to. If my parents are forcing me to stay down and have dinner with them then fine, but when I'm home alone and suddenly decide I should make a sandwich and brownies and whatever fucking else, I need to stop myself.

Slowly start exercising again. If I'm fasting a lot I don't have to do much but I need to get back into a sustainable routine, which means at least 10 minutes a day.

NO LIQUID CALORIES. That means coffee with sugar, hot chocolate and alcohol. If I do I'll be consuming liquid calories (since I know I'm going out to a party where there will be drinks and I refuse to be left out) I won't eat all morning and will have only light snacks at night to stop me from getting sick.

Stay busy!! I've been spending a lot of time lying on my bed watch It's always sunny on Netflix. Instead I'll put my tablet where I can see it or cast it to my TV and watch it while cleaning my room. It burns calories and stops me from thinking about food.

Set up some sort of skin care routine cause my acne hasn't been this bad since I was 14 and I need to get it under control. This one isn't really ed related but I think my acne is partially caused by all the shit I've been eating, plus self care helps me stay on track.

Set up my plan for March. Yeah every month I go "this is gonna be my month" and it never is but I really think March will be different because I'm gonna set up a concrete plan. Rather than just going "urgh I won't binge this month" or "I'll start exercising this month" I'm actively writing down safe food lists, coping mechanisms to stop me binging, my favourite quick workouts, motivational messages, ANYTHING I can that will help me. I'm gonna do that 30 day thinspo challenge. I'm gonna set reminders to update my journals. I'm gonna get myself back together. Around march time last year was when I first got into this mess and when I first started dropping weight. So this March, I'm getting back into it. I'm fixing this mess.

These are just my rules for the next 5-7 days while I try and get myself back together. Of course some stuff like my skin care and exercise will stick but once I get back to school the eating rules will have to change and of course I've gotta start weighing again eventually cause my body dismorphia means I can see NO progress by looking in a mirror so matter how many times my mum says my weight loss is obvious. But following these should help me fix myself up for the rest of February. And I don't expect March to go smoothly either; like I said, I think every month will be "my month" and it's not. But if March can be just a bit better than February and April can be a bit better than that, then in a couple months I'll be back to smooth sailing. By next year I'll have made real progress.

Reblog if you’ve binged within the last five days.

I want to show everyone that you aren’t alone; others do it, too. It happens, you aren’t a ‘failure’ for binging. 

I'm trying to buy groceries and this motion activated animatronic skeleton DJ just demanded that I "GET READY TO RATTLE THOSE BONES", played a bunch of airhorn noises, and laid down some sick beats.

Target hits it out of the Halloween park AGAIN this year, already