Thank You To Everyone Who Participated In My Study. For Your Troubles, I Can Offer You Two Tylenol, And

Not by blood, but by spirit

I am the funniest bitch at the gynecologist

Breaking news! Talking about your feelings actually helps you feel better! Follow for more shocking developments

Nothing like the horror of realizing your middle school writing is forever on the internet. Anywho. Moving right along.

Please, just one more year. Give me one more year

It is a luxury to have a parent whom you will one day mourn

Few things match the horror of when you google something and the first thing that comes up is "Scholarly articles for..."

Like babe I'm just trying to study for my organic exam, you gotta give me the baby version

I hope you know how much I love you.

Keep all your writing. Keep that bad fanfic you wrote when you were 12. Keep that essay you wrote junior year of high school. Keep those poems you wrote for her. Keep it all. Keep it all.

Not to be a choosing beggar but why do gameshows only seem to be giving out money nowadays? What happened to kitchen appliance sets and cruises? Don't give me the burden of choice