Im Never Finishing This Comic So Woe. Blue Lock Rpf Be Upon Ye

DanandPhilCrafts + Fucked Up Queer Devotion + Christian Homophobia: An Essay

We’ve all been talking about the willingness of Dan and Phil to perform the ritual, we’ve all been talking about the intimacy of carving out your lover’s heart, but I have not heard anyone talk about the fucked up side of Dan and Phil’s (fictional) relationship with each other, and with Him, so here goes.

On the craft channel, Dan and Phil act overwhelmingly positive, like satanic children’s show hosts, but this is clearly a farce. We see them drop their smiles quite a few times during the crafting- most notably in Glitter Faces when Dan’s craft turns out wrong, and when Phil cuts Dan’s hand. “Don’t cry, craft” is directed towards the audience, but it seems Dan and Phil are following their own advice. Cults, after all, prey on vulnerable people. While they do seem scared of doing the ritual, and their involvement with Him, they are, however, definitely willing. In

The blood on Dan after he kills Phil is interesting; The handprint on his shirt isn’t a sign of a struggle, but rather Phil just grabbing his shirt- that’s pretty intimate, honestly. The blood on his face could’ve been caused by a bunch of things: blood splatter he wiped at? wiping at his face (eyes?) with a bloody hand? or Phil holding his face? (I like the third option) The blood on his nose might totally have been accidental, and just a thing that happened, but it could also be an allusion to the cat whiskers, in the spirit of bringing things back to the beginning and whatnot.

After the ritual is complete, there’s the obvious tarot symbolism. @freckliedan has a great post about this, but I’ve got more to add, so bear with me. Yes, Dan and Phil are framed as the lovers, but that’s not all. While the sexual deviance associated with the devil card has clear connections to queerness, it’s main association is usually unhealthy relationships and dependence. We also see Phil always giving Dan the directions, implying some kind of power unbalance. Applied to Dan and Phil’s (fictional) relationship, we’re told that it’s just not as healthy as their real relationship. These characters, while obviously in love and super devoted to each other, are not in a healthy relationship.

Furthering the unhealthy relationship idea is when Phil calls Dan “Sampson”. In the Bible or whatever (I’m not Christian sue me) Sampson topples these pillars, killing both himself and his enemies, which has a clear parallel to Dan’s stacked ingredients falling over, but the use of “folly” is interesting, and suggests a further connection. Sampson had married a prostitute, and she sold him out, basically, leading to his enslavement and later death. In this story, this is the clearest and most obvious act of folly by Sampson: marrying someone who he shouldn’t have, someone who it was taboo for him to be with. Connected to Dan and Phil, it suggests that their relationship is dangerous due to the social taboo, but it’s also implied that Phil will betray Dan.

Speaking of unhealthy relationships, that’s sure what they’ve got with Him! Leading up to the ritual, Dan and Phil are shown to be scared of Him, even though they call Him their friend. Dan’s head shake when Phil says “crafting has improved my life in numerous ways” is very telling. At the end, Dan’s shoulders tense at His first footstep, however, when He actually touches Dan, he doesn’t seem scared at all- forgive me for this next point, but from the way he kinda leans into the touch and tilts his head back, it seems more like he’s going for “turned on” rather than “scared”.

“Okay, cool” you say, “but what does it mean?” Well, Dan and Phil’s relationship in this series is not just about homoerotic undertones- this is an allegory for toxic queer sexual relationships. Why would they make something about toxic relationships when they’re in a healthy relationship? With the toxicity, and the power imbalances, and the satanism, Dan and Phil’s (fictional) relationship is a representation of Christian fears of queerness, and the supposed immoral/corrupting/anti-Christian effects of being in a queer relationship. The fear Dan and Phil show throughout the series is representative of internalized homophobia. They’re scared to align themselves with Him because it means accepting their own queerness. Dan shows more fear than Phil throughout the series (like after his glitter face turns out to be a pentacle) which parallels his real world internalized homophobia that he’s experienced. By holding hands with the devil (or baphomet?) standing behind them, Dan and Phil have embodied every conservative fear about queerness, but have come out on top. Through their YouTube channel, we get to do the same.

something something connecting matt to icarus. both of my loves whose stories and legacies have been bastardized by people who claim to know them. for different reasons of course but the sentiment still stands. i finished up my icarus poem, maybe i gotta write one about matt hm.

don’t you know ignorance is bliss?

Dragging myself out of inactivity to grossly overanalyse/scream about the chapter 213 Kunigiri stuff coz I’m so mentally unwell and it’s their fault.

First of all, I love how in order to get into the other stratums, players first have to submit a request form. Presumably they’d have to state a reason for going and I doubt “I want to see my friends” would be allowed because some people would end up using it as an excuse to slack off, so I wonder what Chigiri said to get his request accepted? Obviously he was actually coming just to see Kunigami but he probably needed to make up an excuse (either that or Ego/Anri let him through because BLTV really is just football Love Island atp).

Anyway, I love the intro panel for Chigiri in this chapter coz it says SO MUCH about him.

It’s the hair.

Chigiri barely ever wears his hair up, not even while playing football (and I’ve made my thoughts on that clear in the past so I’ll refrain from any ranting). On the field he’ll have that weird half-braid thing going on, and off the field he usually just wears it loose. One of the only other times we see him with a ponytail is in chapters 150-151, during the 2-week break post U-20 match. I think this shows that Chigiri is putting active effort into his appearance for his visit with Kunigami. He puts his hair up when he wants to make a good impression — in the Shibuya chapters he’s also wearing a rather nice outfit, so he was focussing on his appearance then too. This time around, he’s specifically doing it for Kunigami because he’s unsure about what Kunigami thinks of him after “ghosting” him during the MC match. This is Chigiri going all-out to impress through subtle gestures and small changes that are consciously made and will subconsciously be picked up on.

(There’s also Kunigami’s canonical thing for the napes of necks (egoist Bible) to take into account which… listen we have no proof that Chigiri is aware of it but we also don’t have any proof that he’s not. Who’s to say he didn’t choose this hairstyle specifically because he knows it shows off his nape, which is usually kept hidden under his hair? He’s already a bit of a flirt after that “such an insensitive hero” comment back during the Second Selection. It isn’t impossible.)

Next, the iconic “keep an eye on me” line.

First off, Nomura really decided to make Chigiri look that pretty when he said this. Boy looks absolutely gorgeous. I’m aroace but I would’ve folded. Kunigami is stronger than me.

Second off, I like how this shows Chigiri being attentive towards Kunigami. When they first reunited, it did come across a bit like Chigiri was being dismissive of what Kunigami went through in the Wildcard, saying that he’d treat Kunigami as exactly the same person he was before (although it’s arguably understandable since they’d only just met again and Chigiri has no idea what happened in the Wildcard). Now though, it’s clear he’s observed the change Kunigami went through and a) wants to make amends for his previous comments, and b) still wants to be with Kunigami. While there’s never a direct apology given, it’s clear he doesn’t think of Kunigami the same way he did before the Mc match and wants to make amends. Honestly, idk if a direct apology would’ve been a nice addition or would’ve just made Kunigami feel worse — Chigiri is a proud person and Kunigami doesn’t want pity, so this less direct approach was probably the best way to go about things.

Thirdly, when Chigiri says “from now on, I’m gonna be keeping an eye on you”, it’s not just a promise to acknowledge Kunigami’s skills as a footballer. It’s also a subtle way of saying “you’re not getting rid of me. I’m staying right here”. Adding to that the “so, you better keep an eye on me too, got it?”, it’s both a declaration that Kunigami shouldn’t underestimate Chigiri and a “you’re gonna be seeing a lot of me so get used to it”. (Side note: Isagi’s face on this page is so fucking funny to me he’s just like “yeaaaaaah, these bitches gay. Good for them” lmao.)

Last thing I’ll scream about is this:

FIRST NAME BASIS!!!

Obviously Chigiri is specifically using “Rensuke” as a little jab at Kunigami to get him riled up. Chigiri is just like that when it comes to teasing. Still, it’s nice to know that he feels comfortable enough around Kunigami to say something like this without Kunigami getting angry or making things awkward between them. We’ve seen Bachira do this with Isagi too during the Barcha match, so that’s nice little bachisagi parallel. At the very least, Chigiri is showing that he wants their friendship to continue and is going to continue to treat Kunigami as a close friend, no matter how much Kunigami might try to push him away.

Conclusion to my ramblings: Chigiri is putting in the work and I respect him for it. Kunigami is in a bad place rn and what he needs is someone as stubborn as Chigiri to see him through. Chigiri knows what it feels like to feel depressed and push everyone else away because it happened to him too. He thought for a time that everything was over for him. No doubt he’s recognising those things in Kunigami and wants to help him out, especially since the two of them had grown pretty close before being separated.

Kunigiri has my whole heart!!!

ouuughh… Highschool au where matt has shitty parents and Juan has the average suburban white life… ough…. OUGGGHH….

OKAY TIME FOR MY BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

so yknow that dentist radio edit ive mentioned? well, ive only found 3 digital recordings of it. one of them is crunchy, one isnt pitched correctly, and one is only the instrumental. for some odd reason, no one has made a clear digital recording of the actual song. and, well, i own 3 different record copies of this version...

BEHOLD!!!!!! a direct digital recording of the dentist radio edit, using my new fancy turntable and audacity!!! it still has some record crackling, but this is miles clearer than anything ive been able to find online!! and its in stereo, so theres some fun speaker-to-speaker action as well, which i didnt even know this version had!!!!! so cool!!!

this version of the song incredibly interesting, they added a lot of stuff to it. the song opens with thr sound of orin's motorcycle, theres a more prominent bassline (which i think sounds better), theres a whole new lyric that's unique to this version only, and the biggest change is the audio from the arthur denton scene interrupting the song, and then merging with it. bill murray is moaning throughout the last chorus and its great. im fairly confident that this version was for radio promotion, especially with the inclusion of the bill murray stuff. but i cant really find like, any info on it or its multiple record copies. man!

anyway. i hope this recording helps get people interested in this version of the song! i will work on getting a program to help clean up the record crackling, but thats for another day. please check it out, and thank you for reading!!!

PS: if you wanna download the MP3 file for yourself, send me a dm and i'll give you the link to download it! im having trouble sharing the link on posts, it only seems to work when i send it directly to people? who knows. sorry!

I actually like it when ships hurt each other in long lasting and unforgiveable ways. I like it when they leave vicious, glaring scars. I like when they leave traumas. I like when they stab each other and torture each other and ruin each other’s lives and violate every inch of each other’s values. and I like it when they fucking kill each other permanently dead. 

i wanna share some of my ace attorney spotify playlists so aaaaa !!! beware of some overlap on the Miles & NaruMitsu ones by reason of Obvious. They'll all get longer as time goes on.

Matt Engarde playlist, 5hrs

Miles Edgeworth playlist, 2.5 hrs

NaruMitsu playlist, 4 hrs

Phil IS the mean gay of this duo, dont let him fool you