Oh My God. The Tears In Luke’s Eyes When Percy Says The Betrayal Line. The Desperate Pleading For Them

taking a behavioral pharmacology class for my psych degree? no. taking a behavioral pharmacology class to write a scientifically accurate matt engarde overdose.

will aa tumblr take my matt engarde fanart

posted this earlier but it didn't came up so now I'm re posting it again 💔💔

was experimenting a diff brush than I usually use so dk if I dig it

(also new blog theme wowowwo)

talking with bestie about whether matt or juan would propose and i have reasoning for both. Here It Is.

Juan: He's been engaged once before. Clearly that did not work out. Unrest in pieces, bitch, I hate you Inpax. He's determined to get it right this time, because he's with the right person this time. Matt has always been the man he was meant to be with. They will always find their way back to each other, and Juan wants to ensure that there's no way he could ever lose him again. He's also a hopeless romantic as we know and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think he has a scrapbook laying around of different proposal ideas. He knows the shit that Matt has gone through, and probably not even the worst parts of it. That's a terrifying thought, and he wants to put as much of that pain in the past as he can. He wants to move forward with their lives, he wants to promise himself to Matt forever. He wants to promise Matt a soft forever, a delicate one, free of hurt and anguish. He's going to do it right.

Matt: Honestly, he needs a sense of control in his love life. So much of his relationships haven't had any of his input, and while of course Juan is nothing like that, the fear remains. Trauma does that to a guy. Again, fuck you Inpax. He likes the comfort and security of being agentic, making decisions. And he knows that Juan is the type to provide the grand romantic gestures instead of receiving them. Matt wants to change that. When his life went to shit, he lost control, he wasn't there for Juan, he couldn't provide comfort and love and care. He's back on the right track now. He can make up for lost time. He can get down on one knee and in spite of all his flaws, all his mistakes, the sins of his past that nearly cost his beloved his life, he can pledge to love this man forever. He already does. But Juan likes this cheesy shit (and Matt is learning to, though the process is slow). He wants to make Juan feel loved, he wants this proposal to be everything he's ever dreamed of. Everything he couldn't get the first time. It would be grandiose. Sentimental. Multifaceted. Intimate. A perfect whirlwind combination of what's in Juan's scrapbook and that charismatic clumsiness, maybe the heat of something A Little Too Personal, that is undeniably Matt Engarde.

okay yeah and these are my ramblings. enrida/juangarde i love you. The them. The sillies.

Drunk doodling I did yesterday

kurosagi yayyyyyyy

Waterparks Songs That Make Me Think Of Matt Engarde because I Said So.

Hawaii (Stay Awake) — "A hurricane lives in my bedroom, it keeps me up and awake for round two. And I just wanna sleep but that's all too much."

Stupid For You — "I'll be your new favorite tune, I'll be your black cloud by June, but only when you miss the rain like I miss you. Just double-dare me and I promise now that I'll stay. It's not like you're married but I still got carried away."

Royal — "I fall in love with everything that wants nothing to do with me. I know that there's no dealing with the way I'm feeling, I'm so out of touch with everyone and everything's a blur to me."

Dizzy — "I wanna pour my feelings down the drain, but I just take another sip until my eyes drip, 'Stay the same.'"

It Follows — "Kiss me like nobody would when I was fifteen, I'm tired of the waiting and the wondering. If I could find my something to burn out these feelings, I'd cut them out completely and I'd stop this reeling."

Plum Island — "It's harder than it should be for me to be straightforward. Like even when I did, I couldn't tell her I adored her, which I know is messed up, and I know I messed up, but at least I 'fessed up, now of course it's too late—"

Blonde — "I never wanted to be thinking this loud, I never asked about the when, why, or how. I wanted privacy, routine, and everything between while they're just finding me out. I never wanted to be thinking this loud. At least it's all about you."

Not Warriors — "There's nothing in my system so I'm feeling what I feel for you. There's nothing left to miss except the shots I take and phone calls with you, and I just need you to feel it too."

Sleep Alone — "I distract myself awake but in my dreams you're playing a song. I'll tell my friends we made amends tying up loose ends in the sand. But if you want it, you can have it, you can have me in full."

American History — "We are expected, but only in the best way, to live a small time—a year: expired. We are supposed to fall into exposure, we have the biggest sparkling eyes."

Turbulent — "So fuck yourself and fuck your feelings. I believe, but not in you and me, so I'd unfuck you if I could, I'd unlove you like I should have, months before I did in the months before I split."

War Crimes — "Behind my forehead's an assortment of things I'd like to forget. I wear a smile that's about a mile wide, I'd like to sport it. It's my fault I miss my friends, I'm lonely every day."

Worst — "It was me or whiskey, now you're pissed I wasn't bluffing. Fuck it, took a couple shots, don't you dare fucking miss me. Miss Unfaithful hit the backboard breaking bed springs, so delete us from your phone and never look back, fuck you and your friends and LA."

Snow Globe — "In the daytime I get to debate myself and quiet all the evil things I say, like 'Everybody hates you, people miss the old you, they hate everything that they all changed you into.'"

Magnetic — "But you said it, I'm magnetic to the things I hate the most. I spent today insubordinate, yeah I'm fucking up, I'm recording it. I'm projecting big through a tiny screen where I'm stacking up my reality."

Real Super Dark — "I'm out of the cage and I'm on the stage, I'm dying to give you a show. I'm alienated, way overrated, here are a few of the notes: my fans are the best, they'd love me more dead."

Self-Sabotage — "What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm on my way to you, but I self-sabatoge, so I might drive my car and crash into your garage. To get away from you, I'll self-sabatoge."

Ritual — "My inner child needs a bulletproof vest and a phone that can't text and 20 years rest. Build a bomb shelter, bite a belt for the stress, never know what's next. Sleeping with my clothes on in case—goes wrong."

Fuck About It — "We can fuck about it later if you want, because we never fix the problems that we got, baby, you don't seem to like it when we talk. I guess I'll see you later."

A Night Out On Earth — "I wear my red flags like a cape, it gets so fuckin' hot under all this shade. Everywhere I walk's a toxic parade, the glove don't fit but I wear it anyway."

Raichi would be so pretty if he just stopped trying to look like a gremlin every waking moment.

Like look at this pretty bitch,

please teach me your eyeliner ways

Oh, and then there's,

Such a ✨PRINCESS✨

But no:) He wakes up every morning and decides to,

And my personal favourite,

Raichi, bro, are you okay?? Velociraptor looking fucking headass

please don't ever change i still love you

オートロさん。

ace attorney clue idea that i thought of forever ago and never finished until now 🔎

franziska coming around on phoenix as she grows older and finally admits her harshness was never his fault but instead her jealousy that he could stand next to edgeworth, who always felt so far out of her reach and would never return her love (not romantic just deep admiration and respect) the way he clearly did phoenix's

she finally "concedes defeat" and treats phoenix with kindness and without any expectation of reciprocation because doing so is the most pure act of love she can do for miles. and since she's finally accepted that love should be given without expecting anything in return, that it be unconditional, she is also finally able to open up to receive love in ways she never expected and realized she needed. 

phoenix, being who he is, forgives like everything is a fresh start, and his warmth completely knocks her off her feet and everything is suddenly clear to her. "ah. this is why he loves him. this is why i could never do what he did."

and suddenly, phoenix is her big brother. not little brother like miles but genuinely sincerely the figure in her life she should have had all along. her father had trauma bonded her to miles and she had no other guiding mentors, but now she has big brother phoenix.

miles has no idea when this happened. he doesn't understand at all how his little sister, who chided and harassed this man he loved, suddenly stopped looking down on him and began looking up to him. he's grateful, her approval of his partner means more than he'll ever be able to say, but he's lost. 

phoenix gets it. he does not tease her the way he does maya because he knows how prized and vulnerable and fragile and valuable the kindness of franziska von karma is, how it should be cherished as the priceless gemstone it is. 

they bicker. they have different tastes in music and art. they debate like two old men in the box seats of a theatre. but the barbs are a love language. the attacks lack their old spite and volatility. it is a choreographed dance rather than a spar. sometimes, people forget that miles was the one she had been raised with.

when phoenix and miles marry, franziska dances with each of them in lieu of the parent-child dance. she leads miles, but she lets phoenix lead her. 

he thanks her and promises he will take care of miles the way she had for so many years. she smiles and admits "i know."