Saw Wicked On Broadway For The First Time This Weekend And Can I Just Say No Good Deed Is So So So Matt

I don't even know if you're still in the Matt Engarde hype but oh my fucking god. holy fucking shit. I am obsessed with the thought that this man would rather create a whole persona as an amalgamation of the traits he doesn't see as "acceptable", one who can carry the blow of Celeste's suicide because he's bad and independent and dettached and everything he was never allowed to be, one who can carry the anger he bottled up for the sake of images; the anger rooted so deep, burning him inside out at every ounce fear and the self-hatred and the neglect and the betrayal of being left behind he encounter. I'm going insane.

He sees "growing up" as something bad, as if being a fully separated entity from who nurtured you is shameful, and how this somated with the grayness of Celeste's relationship with him (and the fact all the people in canon she was in a relationship with, romantic or not, borderline or straight-up codependent) heavily implies that she, consciously or not, made him fully rely on her for everything and fed into the image that things should be like that forever: that he would never be someone if not "part" of her. And not to be an Engarde apologist or anything but the knowledge that this is a common strategy for abusers, especially parents and caretakers; to "mesh" with their targets to a point they don't know who they are without them, and how this causes long-lasting identity and self-image issues, much like that dude Matt?? It's driving me nuts.

Just. The littlest, tiniest voice in my head saying that Engarde would rather destroy the already poor image he had of himself as a person and wear the "evil" label like an armor than to acknowledge he might have been a victim won't shut up and i'm very sorry for the lenght of this but i've been running up my walls all day brainstorming about this and i need to sleep. I know this may be far-fetched, so feel free to add any divergences from my biased conclusions if you'd like!

i am always and forever in matt engarde hype anon....thank you so much for this ask that has been on my mind since i got it. your point about his relationship with celeste being part of his urge to "mesh" and stay childlike is really fucking me up. i love it so much it makes different aspects of the whole puzzle click in my head. also "would rather be evil than a victim" i think describes engarde deeply. anyway i just love all of this thank you so much for sharing<333

Not a commission just an aaaask can u draw Matt engarde >_<

HIII thank u for asking !! here he is !!!! i want to throw him in a meat grinder

drew this with Smooth Operator in mind

guys the biggest letdown in blue lock is the fact that kira got killed off (he is not dead he's just gone and I'm mourning)

LIKE THATS THE POTENTIAL MAN OF BLUE LOCK FR. HES OUR MEGUMI

I actually miss him so much he was such a cutie

honestly I'm calling it right now once the NEL finishes and they go to the U-20 world cup, they're gonna play against a country like portugal or argentina and kira is gonna be on that team seeking revenge for what isagi did to him (its literally not even his fault)

MARK MY WORDS THIS WILL HAPPEN. I USED MY META VISION TO FORSEE THE FUTURE OF THIS MANGA, AND THIS IS WHAT I'VE CONCLUDED

this makes sm sense in my head like why else would they kill off what could have been a main character. and since I'm pretty sure the whole not being able to play for the national team is strictly limited to Japan, kira may have got an offer from a really good club and could just have been training ever since and we would never know bc there's no exposure to media in blue lock.

he's so pretty I might cry

In another universe kainess are just king julien and mort.

!! ace attorney 2-4 spoilers !!

Okay so like . Yes I have my fix-it fic alternative timeline where the assassination never happens. But thinking about canon. Matt going to jail probably for life with no chance of parole with the shit he pulled. And just what happens in that prison. Because there's no way he lasts more than a few years. I have it actually fully fleshed out in my head what happens and would definitely write about it if the three Matt Engarde enjoyers would be interested. He definitely takes himself out. Gets someone to do it for him in a tragic full-circle ordering-a-hit moment.

With how much Farwell, My Turnabout is centered around suicide, the fact that Matt canonically self harmed ( re; scratching his face up during his breakdown) and how it's implied his initial scar may have been self-inflicted is rarely brought up in discussion drives me bonkers. It seems like such an important facet of his character and is so thematically relevant, like I know how generally hated Matt is but him being the culprit doesn't negate any of this, in fact in my opinion it only strengthens it.

I'm playing justice for all rn and this is how it feels waiting for him

I like to think that after the comic ends, jack and kent make an effort to sit down like adults and talk their history through and apologise to each other. and maybe afterwards they strike up a tentative friendship, especially after jack receives a little package for his birthday containing a pair of bi pride shoelace locks for his running shoes. jack is delighted (bitty is both a little touched and a little furious because somehow the fluorescent neon yellow sneakers are even more of an optical assault when mixed with pink and purple)

and maybe later, kent receives a belated birthday present in the form of a snapback with a rainbow floral pattern, and maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable wearing it in public just yet but it still makes him smile every time he sees it