WLC 2.A: What's In The Box?

WLC 3.8: Children with Knives

J: Let's not forget whose story this is.

The training room is much larger than Jevoi had been expecting. Numerous training targets of various sizes stand around the spacious chamber. Along the walls, several weapons (swords, axes, polearms) are kept sorted in stands. A few grindstones sit next to shelves of materials and a small forge in the corner.

Jevoi's eyes dart across the room; scanning the weapons, she finds her target: knives, daggers. Little blades that can fit in little hands. Her hands. She rushes to them and begins testing their handles. Forward, backward, reverse-grip. She has to find one that fits.

"Oh, ya're into this," says Gank with a smile, "Anything clicking?"

Jevoi stops, holding one sleek dagger in her hand. "YES," she exhales, swinging the runic blade a few times, listening to it sing as it cuts through the air, "Perfect."

"D'ya think?" asks Gank, she points to a humanoid dummy, "Go on, then. Give it a whirl."

The little gecko walks around the dummy and slices at it. The blade cleanly cuts through its soft plant-like material. Jevoi coos at the damage, but the gasps in realization.

"Don't worry," says Gank, as the dummy stitches itself back together, "Nobody'll see nothing."

Jevoi licks her eyes and stabs the dummy as many times as she can, as fast as she can. She twists the blade and begins slashing wildly into it, desperate to outpace the regeneration.

"Okay, slow down," laughs Gank as she walks up to another one, "Let me ya how the big girls do it!" Gank unfurls her claws dramatically and swipes at the dummy in a practiced concert of blows. Her four arms tear, rip, and shred it that it flops about as if it were alive. She throws in a few twirling slashes and kicks as well.

"That's not fair," says Jevoi, "You've got four arms."

"Sorry," says Gank, her tongue hanging from her mouth, "But that's why I'm a warrior and ya're just a rogue."

"Oh yeah?" says Jevoi, running back to the daggers, "I'll show you." She grabs another and racing toward another dummy.

Gank's slit eyes widen. "Woah, kid, wait, no," she steps in front of Jevoi, "If ya get hurt, I'm getting in trouble. Put that one back."

"You don't get to call me a kid," says Jevoi, she looks at her weapons, then up at Gank, "Try and take them!"

L: Trouble from day one.

The developing rational part of Gank's brain attempts to conjure a means of handling this situation. Unfortunately, the emotional threat to her ego prevents the teenager from having any ideas more complicated than, 'Take them.' Some may also claim that her species, hard-wired for a short life of constant violence, may also be a factor in this spur-of-the-moment decision, but that hypothesis's largely irrelevant when faced with the far more accepted theory:

L: Kids are so f*****g stupid.

Gank suddenly lunges at Jevoi, who reflexively holds the blades in front of her. Gank grabs onto Jevoi's wrists, but the gecko squirms and the weapons come dangerously close to the charda's face.

"Let go!" yells Gank.

"Make me!" yells Jevoi. She kicks Gank in the groin. Both girls gasp in pain and Jevoi almost loses balance.

"Why would'ya do that?" says Gank, she then kicks Jevoi right back, "How d'ya like it?"

Jevoi emits a long squeak, but continues struggling to pull her hands out of Gank's claws. Blood begins dripping down both of their arms.

Gank bends her empty hands inward and uses the back of her wrists to slap Jevoi's face and punch her in the gut. "LET!" Hit. "GO!" Slap. "OF!" Knee. "THE!" Clunk. "KNIVES!" Punch.

"Noooo," squeals Jevoi weakly. One blade hits the floor, but she her grip on the other. She shoves her bloody hand into Gank's face, feebly slapping her. "Let me go."

The last thing Jevoi hears before passing out is Gank's desperate voice repeating, "Oh s***e!"

WLC 4.4: Slaughter-in-Law

"Quick, while she's not looking, try to kill me," says Ling.

"I'd love to," says Angustias, "Is this a game to you?"

"Not like your a threat to me." Ling shakes her head.

"What is that supposed to mean?" snarls Angustias.

"She won't kill me. Ya can't."

"Why did you stop running?" Angustias slides toward Ling.

Ling ignores her and sits on the bed. She pulls out her magic orb and flicks it. "I've been trying to save this world again, but ya idiots chasing me making that a helluva pain."

Angustias towers over Ling. "Then why not just walk in. We both know you could have."

Ling continues flicking the orb, scrolling the images on it. "Would either of ya have just let me in? If it weren't her idea?"

Angustias rages, unable to find words.

"Keep hissing, snake." Ling's eyes stay on the images in her orb, scrolling onward.

For a moment, Angustias' hand twitches, as if she intends to conjure her weapons once more, but she relents, glancing back to the bathroom door. "You will not drive my daughter from me."

"Yeah, I know how much that sucks," says Ling. Subtle laughter comes out of the other room, by pure coincidence.

"You're responsible for that yourself, gex," says Angustias, slithering away and positioning herself toward the door.

"No s***e, demon," says Ling, "Don't worry, ya'll have gobs of chances to f**k it up yourself."

"Do you not fear death?" asks Angustias, folding her arms.

"Hard to fear it," Ling continues scrolling though pictures, "When I know ex-act-ly where I'm going." She raises a hand and wiggles her claws. "Viva~ Los Vicios!" She laughs. "So, my daughter's trophy wife's not breaking my legs anytime soon."

Angustias grabs her own face. "What is taking them so long? IS SHE SEWING HER A DRESS?"

WLC 6.4: They're on a Path in the Woods

Adjusting the tie on her red hood, a young lycan, barely a gnome tall, looks down the trail into the woods. The birds are singing, bugs are buzzing, and sun shining through the canopy. She picks up her picnic basket.

"Do you really have to follow me?" she asks the dark-hooded figure behind her, "It's just my bunica's house; I go every week."

The masked figure nods. "It's not safe to go alone," she says.

"You're shorter than me," says the lycan, "I'll have to protect you if anything is actually out here."

"Not the poi~ent~," sings the masked figure.

"Don't do that." The lycan skips along the path and her shadow drags behind.

"Just keep your eyes open for any queer sights."

"Like a pond that wasn't there last week?"

"Right~io~," sings the shadow, "Wait, is that it?"

The two stop and cautiously approach the waterfront through the grass. Because of their tall boots, the two feel safe from ticks and other bugs.

The shadow skips a stone across the pond. "Seems like real water to me," she says, "But where's it from?"

"Oh, you two, right there," says a sweet voice from the lake, yet unimpeded by the water itself "You wouldn't have happened to drop a sword in here recently?"

"No?"

"Are you sure?" asks the voice, sounding closer to the girls, "There are a few down here; one is iron, one is steel, one is silver, and one is gold."

"Not ours, sorry," says the lycan.

"But the silver could be useful," says the shadow, "Can we borrow it? Just for today?"

A light shines from the lake as an elf-like woman emerges. Her skin shimmering silver, her hair gold. The water flowing around her as a shawl, barely concealing her dignity. She stares down at the children. She attempts to smile warmly to them, but it just creeps them out.

"Greetings, honest travelers," she says, extending out an open palm, "You may call me Argentalms Aurocor. May I have your names?"

"I'm using it," says the lycan, stepping back, "Sorry."

"Mine was a gift," says the shadow, stepping forward.

Ms. Aurocor rolls her beautiful pearlescent eyes. "Then what may I call you, travelers?"

"You can call us Loomy and Bacon," says the lycan, "It's nice to meet you, I guess."

"Really nice to meet you," says the shadow presumably called Bacon.

WLC 4.3: Queen of Swords

"We'll be right outside," says Jevoi to Dalini, "If you need me, just speak up." She exits the room and scowls at Ling.

"Sorry, I don't have fancy pipes," mocks Ling, "Apocalypse is happening."

"It's not about the toilet, Mum," snaps Jevoi, "You're a wizard; you have magic."

"Always thinking magic'll solve everything." Ling shakes her head. "Never thinking about the consequences."

"You don't think it's terrible conditions you were raising her in?" asks Jevoi.

Ling walks over to the little table and stares at the mock tea set. "Better conditions that Nana Ning had... minus the eternal freezing night. At least I've done a better job than Nana Ting."

"Ting?" Jevoi's caught off-guard. "You've never told me anything about Ting."

"How could I?" laughs Ling, "I never met her."

Suddenly, the door from the hall opens and six-armed elf-esque woman with a serpentine lower body slithers into the room. She's wearing a green sweater and, for the brief moment that she was entering the room, a smile. But then, she saw Ling. Now, the smile is gone; replaced with rage.

"YOU!?" yells the raven-haired demon, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!? I"LL KILL YOU!" She conjures six swords and advances toward the wizard. "I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"

Ling sighs in resignation. "Not expecting to be forgiven, demon."

Jevoi jumps in front of the swordswoman. "Calm down, Angustias, my queen."

"Why are you stopping me?" asks Angustias, her eyes still trained on the wizard, "Why did you bring her here?"

"You know why," says Jevoi, pushing the swords down, "I want her dead too, but do you want to explain to your daughter why Nana Ling had to die?" Jevoi grabs the bronzed amazon's face and forces their eyes to meet. "She doesn't even know you yet. Don't lose sight of what matters, my queen."

Angustias drops her weapons, which fade away, and picks up Jevoi in six-armed hug. "Of course, my empress." The demon's eye briefly twitches in pain and she makes a threatening gesture toward Ling with one hand.

"Mum!" yells Dalini from the bath, "What do I do now?"

Jevoi dismounts her wife and races to the door. She hops quickly in place, alternating legs. "Oh, I'm going to help my daughter get dressed for the first time!" she squeals before calmly walking the door.

"She's stoked about this mum s***e, isn't she?" asks Ling.

"Don't f*****g talk to me," says Angustias, trying to figure out how to pose her arms in loving, motherly way.

Wizard Lizard Chronicles 1.1: Prologue of the End

Under the blackened sun, in the half-buried remains of a town, walks a gecko in a regal military uniform. The gold trim of her dark suit matches the streak in the bangs of her long, straight black wig. A band of darkened scales sits across her face, pierced by her unyielding eyes.

"Back where we started," she mutters, as she approaches a the remains of an old stone alchemical store. Her boots kick up dirt as she marches, smashing through numerous magical barriers and wardings; her own power emanating from her (no fancy hand signs or magic words, just raw stubbornness) to clear her way.

She pushes open the battered door with a loud creak and steps in. The building is filthy, but not as abandoned as it appeared. Sitting in a chair of molded dirt in the dark is a figure in a robe and pointed hat. The wizard leans back to see under the brim of her hat and asks, "Came alone, did'ya?"

The intruder licks her eyes. "Yeah," she says, "Finally tired of running, Mum?"

Thinking about Writing

I don't know how many people are actually reading this dumb lizard story, but I'm having fun writing it, improv-ing it one day at a time. I already know the main beat of Chapter 3: How Li'l Jevoi Met the Shadow Queen.

WLC 5.C: Doom Service

As the sheriff and the naked gex stare down, Gank slips into the floor and rises outside. She knocks loudly on the door. "Ma'am, are you okay?" she yells, "You're using an excessive amount of water." The words flow with an odd twang, an errant emphasis, splashing their river.

Tanglepork and Jevoi keep eyes locked. The sheriff then motions with her eyes for Jevoi to answer and fades from sight, her gun still trained on the gex.

D: She could do that?

J: Gnomes are tricky, like short, chaotic elves.

L: They sure are.

J: Mind out of the gutter, Mum.

Jevoi slips back to the shower and quickly turns it off, then loudly rushes to the door. She opens it just a crack and leans to look through. "Sorry," she says to the tentacled cabin boy that she's surprised to see, "I didn't mean to offend, but it's been so long for me. It's so nice and warm."

"Not a problem, Ma'am," says the disguised Gank, "But we do have a sauna and a pool, if that is to your liking."

"I might- might look into that," says Jevoi, "Good-bye."

"By the way," says Gank the cabin boy, preventing the door from closing, "Captain found a bag last night. Might it be yours?"

Jevoi groans slightly in confusion and looks back at the mess Tanglepork made.

"Black leather, likely bigger on the inside?" asks cabin-Gank, "Would you have been on the deck last night?"

"That might be mine..." answers Jevoi slowly, "I'll-"

"It's been placed in the storage vault," interrupts cabin-Gank, "Feel free to retrieve it when it would suit you. Just ask the clerk on staff to assist you." The cabin boy bows and and exits stage left, fading into the floor to return to Jevoi.

"Well, isn't that nice of them, " says the invisible gnome, "You stay here; I'll get that for you."

L: Good thinking, Gank.

G: Thank ya, thank ya. I try my best to keep my house alive.

Gank watches the less-invisible-then-she-thinks gnome leave. When the door closes, she thinks, 'No trick, she actually bought it.'

Jevoi returns to the shower to get dressed. Still under her piled clothes is the bag. And still in the bag are bottles. And still in those bottles is dust. "I need to get this to Loom," she says to no one really, "Then the sheriff is her problem."

Vanessa, Goddess of Love

This is my attempt at drawing her. Those are supposed to be wings coming off of each eye and a psychedelic glow spiraling behind her main eye. The eyelashes are heavenly flames.

Was not expecting someone to draw a creature close to my heart as a heart.

🫀🦑

WLC 6.A: The Real "Disarm Traps" Spell

Ling looks upon the runic circle and scans the area. As she expected, the big trap is filled with various smaller traps, some more cleverly hidden than others.

"Bl'ell," says Ling, "Only one way to deal with this."

Ling conjures a herd of false deer. She directs the biologically accurate meat puppets to charge through the field while she hides a magic shield-tree. The traps and curses detonate with explosions of various flavors of energy. Flaming chunks of meat fly into the air.

When the cacophony ends, Ling peers out onto a wizardly warzone. Stone and ice statues stand over struggling half-sunken beasts, all coated in viscera amid the burnt field and corrosive pools. Several deer suffer from various disfigurations: extra limbs and openings (like Ling's own spell "Unwanted Orifices"), inside out (Sir Kenra's "Bodily Inversion"), and a torrent of diseases - both natural and magical.

"Guess I have a fan," mutters Ling.

A: You created that spell? Wouldn't have expected you to craft such a horrifying transfiguration. L: It only lasts a few seconds. J: Enough time to cause mental damage, sensory discordance, and intense physical pain. L: Yeah, that's how suddenly gaining and losing fully functioning body parts works.

The meat and deer dissipate, causing the crumbling of the now hollow statues. Holes remain where they had been trapped.

Ling still keeps her attention focused for more hazards as she approaches the broken windmill, carefully stepping around the lingering hazards.