You Know How The Word "feline" Refers To Cats, And "canine" Refers To Dogs? There Are A Whole Bunch More

me: *eating a yummy sandwich*

my shoulder devil: behemoth is a big muscled beast that erupts violently from the earth because he represents eidolon's repressed homosexuality and deep-seated fear of phallic imagery

me: stop

shoulder devil: *points at my phone* post that

me: stoppppp

shoulder angel: actually the simurgh is like glados for trans women who want to get dommed

me: glados is already for trans women who want to get dommed

shoulder angel (nodding): so true so true

shoulder devil: post that

me: shut uppppp

being 5'7" is so fucked. AND i'm a top. i suffer more than you could ever know.

shawty got them evil bottom jeans

i don’t know how to politely put this but i’m not gonna read the ~3 million words and counting web serial

Verona watching her sobbing pathetic father:

the more that i think about it, the more i feel like the undersiders are a really good litmus test for ability to understand/be sympathetic towards neurodivergency w/o reacting w/ hatred when it’s unpalatable. like, yes. they do in fact do a lot of violent and terrible things. but they’re from “trauma viscerally literalized as superpowers which are taken to extreme usages to better represent how devastating and emotionally total being traumatized feels” the book–it makes sense that every character is messy, it makes sense that every character does and thinks shit that extremely fucking sucks. trauma extremely fucking sucks! bitch literally tearing a man’s arm off because she’s been taught her entire life that people will always mock and hurt her for who she is and has learned to use aggression as pre-emptive defense feels significantly more relatable to what i was like when i was an autistic teenager than any quirky-funny representation of autism out there, and she’s not even explicitly autistic. 

like, yeah, taylor has a paranoid and irrational worldview. lisa is hypervigilant and secretive and manipulative. brian can barely function & still refuses to be vulnerable. aisha acts out and it being for attention doesn’t make the behavior any less grating. rachel is aggressive and stubborn and violent. alec doesn’t understand ethical or social boundaries. those are all things i’ve seen people complaining about, saying they hated those characters for it, saying that it was fucking irritating to read about. which is like…Yeah, That’s How Traumatized Teenagers Act! 

taylor had any ability to be “rational” about social interactions eroded from the years of irrational cruelty she faced. lisa micromanages her loved ones’ wellbeing because the last time she didn’t, her brother died. brian genuinely doesn’t know how to function at all if he’s not trying to be strong because it’s the only coping mechanism he’s been taught. aisha, chronically abused and neglected, is trying to assert autonomy & gain attention in the only way she knows how. rachel has learned that the only way she’ll be afforded any respect is if she takes it by force. alec says & does wildly inappropriate things because 13 years of grooming taught him it was normal. 

& yeah, all of those things suck to deal with, but that is in fact because trauma sucks to deal with. litmus test for ability to realize that and be reasonably generous about the fact instead of shitting on the involved teenagers for having a hard time being perfect people after experiencing things built to make them feel less than human.

Panacea: nice frontal lobe :)

Panacea: *stirs it like a latte*

Khepri: UYEVFyWHfrbgkeshrgYTb75wse

Panacea: the procedure was a success

regarding the mark and alec weed discussion

The thing that absolutely kills me about Ianthe being a main character is that nobody fucking invited her. She’s not involved in this shit beyond her forcing herself into it. Harrow is connected to the soul of a murdered goddess who she’s also in love with, and Gideon’s the daughter of the man who murdered a planet to become god, and Ianthe is…? Here? I guess???

Ianthe has no connection to this plot, she’s got nothing to do with any of it, she’s just so FUCKING desperate for the spotlight to finally be on her that she’ll do anything for it.

Notes I’ve taken on arc four of Pale:

I think this was my favourite arc so far and that last chapter was my favourite chapter so far. Now that the characters and their relationships are all well established, I feel like, it can really focus on the emotions of the characters and play with their relationships. Which I absolutely love and which I think is the authors biggest strength.

So about the arc: It is cut into two pieces, with the first four chapters being set (mostly) in Kennet and focusing on the party. This part was absolutely great and I really like the dynamics the trio has with their classmates, Melissa and Jeremy in particular. (Same is also true about their new „classmates“ at the BHI.) The second half, set in the BHI, was really exciting in terms of worldbuilding and magic and almost tricked me into thinking school is useful or fun. What I liked most about this part was seeing the different attitudes of the Practitioners towards Others, others and morals in general.

I was about to say that Avery is my new favourite because of her character development with the forest ribbon trail, snowdrop and her relationship with her family, but the last chapter where the girls create echos of themselves really cemented Verona as the best. I really appreciate having a good person protagonist who has problems feeling emotions like other people.

Also I am not quite sure whether Verona wanting to become an Other is allegorical for dysphoria, suicidal thoughts or not an allegory at all. Either way she continues to be the most relatable character and I love her.