Beskarbuir​ // Din Djarin

@pilotheart // Zay Versio

*

Zay was standing in her corner, her breathing slow, letting people pass by. Being on duty tonight had been useful until now - guests only came to talk when they really needed to, and it was always a quick chat. Every time she was alone Zay scanned the room, her eyes searching for answers. The altered desserts had to be an accident. She didn’t see anyone from her time that could be responsible for it. What she saw, however, made her sigh. “How many drinks did you have, Sabine? You’re acting weird.”

Light flickered from above and around, filtered through the mass of people surrounding Sabine. It played on the walls and across all of the hues of stone and silk, and some of it had even made its way into their veins, carrying the Mandalorian over to a face that filled her stomach with a strange floating feeling. Their friend looked radiant even stone-still and sober, and she noticed their approach. What’s more, she greeted her. Sabine tried not to let a blush creep into her voice, instead shifting their distant gaze to the vaulted ceilings above.

“I—uh. Heh. Hey, Zay.” They glanced down at her toes bashfully. Something in their brain was turning into static, a molasses slowing her thoughts and words. “What d’ya mean? Isn’t this always how I act around a person as pretty as you?”

mandalorians lost // a selfpara in which sabine finds paz among the chaos

cw: mention of injuries/bleeding

There wasn’t much time left to lose. The Mandalorian’s one ally (could they even call Hux that?) since this whole mess had started was no doubt rooms away by now, and she had little hope they’d see him again. But that was okay. It had to be, because there was no other choice. Because now they knelt in front of another who bore the same beskar, a faceless stranger she couldn’t hope to recognize.

He was injured, that much she could tell. At first, they saw nothing worse than the regular scrapes and cuts she’d sustained themself. But he wasn’t moving. They reached toward his neck to feel for a pulse, but to her horror, Sabine’s hand came back slick with blood. No, no, no. This couldn’t happen. She’d lost too much to watch him die, too. They had no clue who he was, but it couldn’t happen. They wouldn’t let it happen.

With a gentle touch, she removed the helm that was supposed to protect him from harm, supposed to help him carry on the legacy she’d nearly destroyed. Instead, they found a man (barely a decade older than herself), bleeding heavily on his right side. But, miracle of miracles, he was breathing. There was still a chance. Though, with this thought, something in the floor shook and careened, and they gritted their teeth in frustration. It wasn’t safe here. Tired though she was, Sabine grabbed the other Mandalorian and dragged him into a nearby corridor. They clung to the conviction of hope like a lifeline, like a snare.

Working quickly, they tore off pieces from the ruined train of her dress, folding fabric and holding it against the wound on his temple. What they wouldn’t fucking give for proper medical supplies right now. But, as her family had taught Sabine since birth, a Mandalorian made do. For moments, maybe hours (there was no accounting for the passage of time anymore), Sabine sat at this stranger’s side, pressing into the wound (even after it had slowed and stopped its bleeding) and praying to the unseen Ka’ra above. Thank the Force, or the Manda or whatever the fuck was keeping them alive, but the injury didn’t look deep enough to warrant serious attention. 

Just as they noticed a flutter in his eyelids Sabine heard the heavy footsteps of another approaching, and they had no way of telling if it was friend or foe. In a moment of clarity, the young Mandalorian knew what they had to do. Kneeling over his bloodied frame, Sabine muttered a quick prayer to their ancestors (a litany long used for children of Mandalore seeking a path to peace and safety). She left in his hands a long, jagged shard of glass they’d found among the ruins, and took into her own the remains of some twisted metal sculpture. There was no more she could do for this vod than lead the fire away from him. 

Some moments later, Paz Vizsla awoke for the first time in his life, fully vulnerable, his helmet lost among the burning rubble around him.

galaxywon​ // Hera Syndulla

Hera  had  been  able  to  rely  on  Sabine  when  their  life  had  been,  even  if  they  didn’t  want  to  admit  it,  in  ruins.  They  were  an  amazing  role  model  for  Jacen,  someone  he  could  both  rely  on  for  guidance  and  adore  due  to  their  fun  and  loving  nature.  It  was  hard  for  her  to  rely  any  of  that  to  the  Mandalorian,  even  after  years  of  being  together.  Affection  hadn’t  come  naturally  to  her.  Even  though  she  wished  it  did  sometimes.  “  I  don’t  know.  He’s  got  Ezra’s  trouble  making  tendencies.  “  she  smiled  affectionately,  going  to  stand  next  to  her,  watching  the  emotions  crossing  her  face  as  she  saw  the  designs  that  had  accumulated  since  her  last  visit.  “  He  wants  to  be  just  like  you.  “  they  informed,  her  arm  wrapping  around  their  shoulders,  chuckling.  “  If  he  asks  use  to  borrow  your  jetpack,  say  no.  “  

They  fixed  a  pointed  glare  towards  Sabine,  though  there  was  no  actual  anger  in  it.  It  had  been  one  of  her  hopes,  for  their  son  to  grow  up  with  values  of  all  of  their  family.  She  saw  small  pieces  them  all  in  him.  “  He’s  been  talking  with  Luke  Skywalker,  trying  to  control  some  of  his  abilities.  “  If  only  Ezra  had  been  there  to  teach  him.  He  would  be  remarkable  at  it,  just  like  Kanan  was  once  he  got  his  head  into  it.  She  was  against  sending  him  to  the  Jedi  Temple,  and  thankfully  Luke  had  respected  their  choice.  Family  mattered  much  more  than  becoming  a  fighting  for  the  New  Republic.  

.

Sabine ran their fingers across the art, old and new, and gave the faintest smile. Hearing her parent talk about Ezra...it brought something of ache to the forefront of their chest, and she knew Hera shared the sentiment. With it, though, was joy (and, even still, a little hope).

“Shit, if he wants to be like me and Ezra, no wonder you’ve got your hands full. But, uh, I don’t know about the jet-pack. I’m sure I was much more reckless at his age.” 

They took a seat at the well-worn Dejarik table and rubbed her hand across their neck, taking a moment to reflect on the other’s musings. 

“Can’t say I know much more about the Jedi than whatever Kanan and Ezra were up to during our time as a crew, but I trust your judgement. I don’t know anything about Skywalker other than the legends, but I know Kanan. If you’re right about Jacen taking after Ezra, he’ll turn out alright.” 

She met the tired eyes of her buir and held their gaze for a moment. They didn’t know how to convey the emotions that were conflicting inside her. Sadness mingled with nostalgia and guilt. It was almost familiar, this cocktail of feelings. Instead, they decided to ask about the unusual silence.

“Speaking of trouble-makers, where’s Chopper? I miss that old war criminal.”

❛  i wish it wasn’t true .  ❜ –– from trilla

“Yeah, um.” They gently kicked up some of the dirt that coated the ground, tracing a pattern of anxiety into the earth. “Me too. Maybe in a better galaxy somewhere, this wouldn’t have happened, but, uh. But we’ve gotta play with the cards we’re dealt, huh?” They asked, albeit halfheartedly. Still, if she had to pick someone to go through this with, Trilla wasn’t a bad choice.

@cravked 

@inspiringgreatness​ // ahsoka tano

ahsoka doesn’t need to reach through the force to be able to see the pain sabine is in. she can feel it of course, it’s something she’s always sensitive too even as a child, before she knew about the force outside of that of a togruta’s connection to it, to nature. she can see it on sabine’s face, however the woman might be trying to hide it, to stay strong and keep it all together. ahsoka can see it in the way she holds out her arm, the invitation for contact - something ahsoka’s become more comfortable with over the past couple of years.

she takes sabine’s hand for a moment, watching the young mandalorian with concern, before stepping in to engulf her in what she hopes is a comforting hug. “thank you for reaching out to me to begin with.” she says gently. knowing exactly what sabine’s feeling, ahsoka can only imagine how hard it was for her to do so. she’s just glad sabine isn’t set on suffering through this alone.

after holding her for a few moments ahsoka steps back, letting out a soft sigh as she watches sabine. “we should.. go somewhere quiet to talk, i think.”

When their friend wraps her arms around Sabine, they stiffen, then allow themself to melt into the embrace. It has been...so long since anyone has comforted her in such a way as this. It floods them with memories, of a cold and distant mother, and then a family that took her place. They remembered the way Zeb would lift her onto his shoulders after a particularly successful mission. How Hera would wrap her arms gently around Sabine when she was just a kid, scared and confused about the war she was fighting. Kanan wasn’t big on hugging, but on the rare occasion he did, you would feel as though you were truly safe in his arms. And Ezra...their affection was different. Instead, the two would fight just like siblings do, tackling each other and putting each other into headlocks and noogies just for the fun of it. To be vulnerable like that again...it was terrifying. But Sabine trusted Ahsoka more than most. When they broke away, she held her friend’s gaze for only a moment, sensing the same hurt in those cobalt-blue eyes.

“Yeah, I think that would probably be a good idea.” Sabine paused, considering the buildings in the area. “There’s a cantina nearby-- not too much business these days.”

Ahsoka had this unique ability, Sabine thought as they started their walk. The Togruta woman could see them for who they were-- past all lies and promises of being okay. That was rare, and perhaps one of the reasons she trusted Ahsoka so much. She could call them on their bluffs and help them when they denied needing help. When sending that message, she had thought maybe Ahsoka was going through similar emotions and experiences. She only hoped to be able to help her friend a little bit, too.

cravked​ // trilla suduri

there was a natural spark of curiosity that arose as a result of their statement. asking would have been inviting in more conversation, given the other room to ask perhaps more personal questions about herself, which was truthfully what trilla was trying to avoid. there was no reason for her to have anything against them, even if relatively minor judgments naturally slipped in here and there. but at least thus far, they have proved capable of deterring anything unwanted.

“what kind of information are you looking for? i might be able to point you in the right direction.” that was very unlikely. trilla hadn’t been on the planet long and did not intend to stay on it for much longer, only knew enough to keep herself blending in and without drawing undue attention. still, the curiosity was there, and there was no reason for sabine to know otherwise. lying was something that there were too good at.

the offer was unexpected, although trilla had already given them a ride to an extent. a few minutes to town wasn’t exactly equivocal to somewhere off world, especially in terms of time spent together. “i have a ship of my own,” she answered with a simple shrug of her left shoulder. “that’s not really an offer you should go around making.” the words are harsh by themself, a beat passing before they added, “given your apparent lack of direction.”

.

And here was the fork in the road, the other shoe dropped. Sabine bit the inside of their cheek, the question of whether or not to reveal true alliances a weight on her tongue. She wondered about the biases Trilla held about her-- of course, the armor and its heritage carried assumptions (and they weren’t always positive; more than one scar could attest to that). Sabine resolved that the truth may as well will out this one. If there was going to be a fight, the Mandalorian trusted their instinct. Knew her skills.

“I’ve been tracking the remains of old Imperial intelligence units-- hard to pin them down, but worth a great reward to the New Republic.” Okay, so it wasn’t the full truth. It wasn’t for bounty that she worked, but for something else. For redemption. No, it was loyalty to a shared vision created by the sacrifices they and so many others had made. For the Spectres. For Mandalore. But the admittance answered enough in its words alone.

Then, at the half-insult--

“Hey, you just caught me on an off day. I knew where I was going, I just got a shit bike rental. Happens to the best of us.” Again, the Mando suspected that the person sitting across from her didn’t seem like the type to ask for assistance, but hey, they’d been wrong before. And it never hurt to return politeness to strangers, especially if there was any chance she’d run into them in the galaxy again. “If that ever changes-- if you decide you want or need help-- I’d be grateful to fulfill the debt.”

Sabine awaited their reaction in its totality, watched the direction hands travelled and eyes wandered. The next move was Trilla’s to make. Sabine felt no need to reach for the blasters or hidden vibroblades yet, but that could easily change. 

@cravked​ // trilla suduri

whatever it was that had led this woman out here, it must have been awfully important –– she couldn’t imagine what exactly it was, given that there didn’t seem to be anything of any kind of significance in the immediate vicinity. trilla stood up as the other seemed to give up on her task at hand, straightening back up once more and letting their hands clasp behind their back, a tall, militaristic posture though the situation was rather casual. even as a jedi, she’d still been trained to fight, to be an army. so much for being peacekeepers. she’d never rid herself of old habits completely.

“if you’ve got enough credits to pay for a decent meal on this place, then i can get you there.” it wouldn’t entirely be out of the kindness of her heart, after all. she could use the extra credits with how far out of society she’d been for a while. she had some catching up to do.

but the mandalorian’s words make her want to laugh, well aware of the reputation that they had. them and jedi were ancient enemies, but she wasn’t a jedi anymore. “well, if you try to kill me, then i will kill you,” trilla answered simply. “i can take care of myself, even against someone like you. you’re not a threat to me, even if you want to be.”

Sabine grinned at the other’s invitation. She didn’t even know who this stranger was, nor what they wanted, but they seemed to have a sense of humor, at the very least.

“A meal, huh? Well, you drive a hard bargain, Trilla.” They started packing up all of the supplies the two had been using. “But, I think I can manage to scrape something up for the two of us. This is a rather...unusual circumstance, after all.”

Sabine hummed quietly to themself while cleaning the makeshift camp. It had been a long while since they had had playful banter with someone else, and even longer since she had genuinely smiled.

“And, hey, I could be a threat if I wanted to! Even if you could kill me, I think it would be quite the fight. I suspect we would be pretty evenly matched.”

The Mandalorian shouldered their pack once again and nodded at the visitor.

“Well, come on, then, burc’ya. Time to learn more about the mysterious stranger who I’ll be dining with this evening.”

xspectre-1​ // Kanan Jarrus

as she warmed to his embrace he sighed some, holding her close. it had taken sometime for them to connect like this, but having her accept his comfort, having this relationship with her? he hadn’t realized how much he wanted sabine to feel like a part of his family until she finally had– he hadn’t expected to ever fill a father role– but how grateful he was of the opportunity. 

but unfortunately, that wasn’t at the front of his mind. it was hard to ignore the amount of confusion he was still feeling, despite his want to be able to be there for them. “it’s me sabine, it’s me, i’m here for you,” but he needed answers, and her response wasn’t the easiest to process. 

seven years. the thought of that loss of time– it hadn’t helped his jumbled mind. he blinked under his mask, having no words as they pulled his hand closer. until– “we won?” he questioned softly, as if not believing it. it was hard to– knowing how much they had lost. his hand met hers, squeezing it in his own, “kriff– we did?”

“Kanan, I-- I’m not sure how to ex-explain. I,” their breath caught in her throat, something in her lungs hitching and spiking. Pressure mounted in their chest and her hands trembled in anxiety. “Okay, uh,” her voice cracked. She didn’t have enough strength to do this...But the warmth of their father’s hand in her own was something to focus on. Something real.

“I-in my time, the Empire fell a few years ago, and...and something happened in the Force. I don’t--I don’t know how, exactly, but time got messed up. Some people were brought f-forward from the past, and some. Some back from the future. Some people that had died--” They shook their head violently, remembering every nightmare and flashback of--no! That wasn’t him! He was here. This wasn’t a dream. “Kanan, I thought you were... Hera, Zeb, Ezra, we...we thought you were gone.”

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

As  much  as  this  would  have  shocked  his  former  self,  Kallus  genuinely  cared  about  each  of  the  Spectres.  He  knew  his  friendship  with  Zeb  helped  with  that.  He  cared  about  the  Lasat,  so  of  course  he  would  care  for  Zeb’s  family.  It  wasn’t  all  that  however.  They  hadn’t  treated  him  horribly  after  his  defection,  something  that  he  still  thought  he  deserved.  They  were  dedicated  rebels,  accomplished  strategists,  caring  people.  He  was  lucky  to  have  friends  like  them,  especially  now,  when  everything  felt  like  it  was  falling  apart.  He  knew  that  Sabine  could  relate  to  that.  They  all  could  now.  

He  was  being  protective.  It  wasn’t  necessary,  not  with  Sabine.  They  cared  for  Zeb  as  much  as  he  did  if  not  more.  It  was  an  interesting  relationship,  theirs  was.  Maybe  it  was  because  he’s  never  had  anything  like  that  before.  “  I’m  sorry.  “  he  expels  a  breath,  focusing  in  on  the  way  they  chipped  the  dirt  off  of  their  armor.  “  I  know  you  mean  well.  Zeb  is  lucky  to  have  such  caring  friends.  I  just….  “  he  trailed  off,  running  a  hand  through  his  beard.  Having  friends  was  sometimes  much  harder  than  not  having  them.  “  We  were  happy  on  Lira  San.  “  he  admitted,  quieter  than  before.  “  We  were  happy.  “  It  felt  like  so  long  ago,  before  they  had  heard  of  Ezra’s  death  and  before  he  had  decided  to  leave.  It  felt  like  a  long  time  ago,  but  it  hadn’t  been  a  great  length  of  time.

“  I  just  want  him  to  continue  to  be  happy.  “  Kallus  confided,  sucking  in  another  breath.  It  was  only  tactful  to  ignore  the  tears  that  Sabine  was  letting  out,  just  as  she  was  ignoring  the  ones  threatening  to  fall  from  his  eyes.  He  hadn’t  truly  cried  in  a  long  time.  He  started  towards  his  back,  quietly.  He  thought  about  Sabine’s  words.  They  were  both  Imperial  defectors,  though  she  was  much  better  than  he.  It  took  him  almost  two  decades  to  figure  out  what  they  had  before  they  even  graduated  the  Academy.  “  I  wouldn’t  go  comparing  yourself  to  the  likes  of  me.  “  he  said,  hoping  his  tone  sounded  as  light  as  he  wanted  it  to.  His  eyes  met  theirs  and  he  nodded.  That  was  one  thing  they  could  agree  on  at  least.  “  Would  it  be  quite  childish  of  me  to  suggest  a  race?  “  he  grinned,  already  mounting  his  speeder,  hoping  that  maybe  they  could  ignore  the  despair  they  both  felt  for  just  a  bit.  

As  he  rode  through  the  desert  his  hair  whipped  around  him.  He  should  have  tied  it  up  before  starting  this  journey.  It  had  grown  much  longer.  The  Empire  would  never  have  stood  for  that.  It  made  him  grin  to  himself  at  the  thought.  The  more  he  changed,  the  more  he  rebelled  against  what  the  Empire  instilled  in  him,  the  more  he  felt  like  he  was  finally  becoming  who  he  meant  to  be.  

“It would only be childish if you lost!” Sabine shouted as they mounted the speeder bike, already racing over the terrain with a wide smile. The wind did nothing for the silent tears hidden beneath her visor. Fuck. She hated crying, but found herself doing it so much lately...Instead, they redirected attention to the passing foliage, the colors that blended and swirled around her. 

Kallus was no stranger to a speeder, it was obvious, but she was sure she had more practical experience. He might have studied at the Academy, but Sabine had been riding since they were a child, since the occupation of the Empire on Mandalore. How he saw in that nest of hair, they couldn’t imagine, but somehow he actually caught an edge on her, turned a corner with more agility and speed than they thought possible.

“Oh, no you don’t!”

They took a risk, cutting through the underbrush, hoping it would help close the gap, but--

“Second place? Dank farrik, Kallus. I’ve got to hand it to you, you know your way around a speeder bike, old man.” They taunted with a sly upturn of the lip. “C’mon, first round’s on me.”

l  closed starter  l  @mvchinery​

The library was more expansive than they’d imagined. Shelves towering high with data, information to borrow and return. Most things were stored electronically, but others were actual physical copies. There were whole sections devoted to the Clone Wars, the rise and fall of the Empire. Another just on the history of the Old Republic. It was a wonder to wander; a feat that almost rivaled the archives of Sundari on their home planet of Mandalore. So enthralled in the grand design of this house of knowledge was Sabine that they felt the collision before they saw it.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to--” She scrambled to pick up any fallen materials before meeting the stranger’s gaze. Something in her demeanor caught their attention, but they couldn’t quite place what. It was just recognizable to prompt the question, but not enough to draw a name. “I’m sorry, but you look familiar. Do I know you?”