Just Say It

just say it

Just Say It

summary: you think mark has fallen out of love. he insists he did not.

notes: swearing, was listening to sza's special oh gosh i just remembered mark liked this song from sos omg?????? will proofread some other time it's literally 2 in the morning here night night

genre: angst because i never write fluff! | word count: 1k -

“mark?” you called the boy who was humming the chorus of coldplay’s yellow. he was sitting in the living room after a cold, quiet dinner you both shared. he seemed to not notice it,

but you know he was doing it on purpose.

“mark.” you repeated his name again, in hopes to finish what is meant to be finished a long time ago. he didn’t budge. his eyes were fixed on the dried tulips that you used to take care of when you come to his apartment. you always scold mark for not watering them often, then now, here we are—they are far from being saved.

just like this one.

“i’m really tired, mark…”

mark suddenly tilted his head at your direction and said, “i’ll fix the bed, baby.”

“no”, you grabbed his wrist by the time he was already walking towards the bedroom. “mark-”

but he swatted your hand away and opened the lights instead. the room still feels the same. it smells like him—his perfume lingered across the room. the bed looks inviting but seemed cold. there sat his green hoodie—your favorite hoodie—on the mattress; almost wrinkled, dryly wrung.

mark opened his closet and brought out two extra pillows. he placed them on the top of the bed. “we always share the duvet, right?”

“stop this, mark.” you tried to protest but he kept crouching to fix the bed. he was smoothing it with his hands, trying to perfect any loose edges and all. he patted the pillows that you used to lay your head onto.

“mark!”

he stopped in his tracks and finally looked at you.

he was already crying.

“i…” you stammered but you cleared your throat to continue. “i know that you feel it, too.”

“bed’s ready, baby.”

“we’re no longer the same, mark.”

“do you want me to turn on the heater?”

there is no way mark is having this conversation, he thought it himself. but good god, you have to.

it was so difficult to witness how the bright smiles turned into faltering ones. the hugs he gives, they seemed like a chore. his eyes spark whenever he goes on a trip with his friends, and never to the plans you ought to make. him coming home and you felt honesty finally left between the two of you. he never smelled sex or an unfamiliar perfume, but these are just the little things that added to the pining, gradual changes, that turned so fucking bittersweet, it felt like it was twisting your guts every single day.

and you have already thought of it: mark has fallen out of love.

“i need to hear it from you so i don’t have to think what i’ve done wrong and whatnot—because i’m so tired; tired of whatever the fuck this is.” you were begging at this point. you heard him sniffling while wiping his tears away. “just say it.”

you reached for his damp hands and squeezed them so firmly. mark looked at you; so helpless, so naive, so vulnerable. he made you like this, mark thought. and he could never forgive himself for ruining you.

“please help me, mark… i just need you to say it.”

“i…” mark started to speak.

you squeezed his hands again, hoping something would finally come out; so desperate, so needy, such pleading, pleading, and endless pleading.

mark looked at you so dearly, with worry on his face; and the sight softened your features. it looked exactly the same when you visited his apartment looking all soaked from the rain. he scolded you for not bringing any umbrella with you. you smiled at the memory and almost nonchalantly, you said:

“help me to help you let me go, mark.”

but mark could not let you go.

every time you tell him that you love him, mark flinches. your love story is nowhere near the perfect fairytale, and uncertainties of the future have consumed mark to convince himself this is not going to last. but every time he pushes you away, you always come back.

why do you always come back? mark seeks answers from god, holding back his cries as he continuously and involuntarily steers himself away from you. what have i done wrong to deserve you; so good, so delicate, so dearly to me? he prays to god as he punishes himself, until the day you waved the white flag finally arrived.

but it would be too cruel, too insufferable, too immensely painful to watch you walk out the door. it would be too painful to feel your scent fading from his green hoodie he always embraces to sleep just because he could not do what his heart wants. the dried tulips, he tried watering them as much as he could, but they were you—so beautiful, so fragile who he wrecked.

so mark pulled you into a kiss; so intense, so desperate, so lovely, and so so apologetic. confusion and yearning consumed you as you deep dive in, but somehow, it spoke volumes—he has set himself free from the demons whispering in his sleep, the nightmares depicting him losing you in a crowd, and the intricate shackles imprisoning his heart.

“i’m sorry for all and for this but i can’t”, mark said as he now stared at your plump lips and back to your searching eyes. “god, i really can’t let you go. i’d be a fucking fool to let you go—not today, not tomorrow, and not in this lifetime or the next.”

you nodded. you understood. and that’s why you kept coming back because there was always your mark that remains despite the despites.

“i love you so much.” he kissed the tips of your fingers and rested your palm on his cheeks, leaning into your touch like a once lost child; so endearing, so passionate, so lovingly.

and you submit to him entirely because you know he's worth it, all of it.

“never ever let me go.”

More Posts from Butterflytaeil and Others

2 years ago

Hello! Can i request prompt no 57 with seokjin please? Thank you!! ☺☺☺

“There is enough room for both of us.”

seokjin x reader (oc) genre: fluff word count: 400+

Hello! Can I Request Prompt No 57 With Seokjin Please? Thank You!! ☺☺☺

Searching the back of the car, you pulled your eyebrows together in thought. “Jin,” you called out, the man humming in response as he searched through his tackle box, perusing his lures. “Did you unload the other sleeping bag?”

“What do you mean?” He questioned, still pushing around the various lures as you looked from him, back to the car, to the bag with the tent, and the single sleeping bag sitting next to it.

“Did we only pack one sleeping bag?” You asked, the question finally getting Jin’s full attention as he looked up to see you staring at him curiously.

“Huh? No, I thought I grabbed them both.” Getting up to check the car again before looking over the camp spot, he pulled a face of immediate guilt. “Uh,” he let out a breathy chuckle.

“Jin,” you whined, leaning your head back in frustration.

“I’m sorry, Poopsie, I really thought I grabbed it,” he apologized, reaching for your waist and pulling you against his frame, you looking at him with a pout.

As you sighed, he let the smile he had been holding back break through, you groaning at the sight. “It’s not funny,” you warned.

“It is a little funny,” he insisted, you glaring at him as he chuckled a bit.

“We’re here for two nights and we have one sleeping bag,” you pointed out. “But thank god you packed three different fishing poles,” you complained, Jin laughing even more at the comment.

“We’re camping, Poopsie, I want to catch a fish,” he defended. “Hey, at least I packed the tent,” he pointed out, the comment causing a smile to break through your stern expression. “I’m sorry,” he told you sincerely.

Leaning your forehead against his chest, you draped your arms around his body. “It’s ok,” you forgave, hiding a smile against his shirt as you did so.

“You know,” he started, piquing your interest. “There is enough room for both of us,” he told you, “you know, in the one sleeping bag.” Well, that really was your only option at that point.

However, the tone of his voice and the quickness of his solution alerted you to a certain purposefulness to his indiscretion. “Did you do this on purpose?” You asked, lifting your head to meet his gaze.

“What?” He let out a huff of air as if offended by your question. “Of course not.”

“Oh, ok,” you accepted his answer easily. “I was just thinking it would be kind of romantic if you did,” you shrugged, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Oh?” He questioned in surprise, you humming in response as you continued to kiss along his face and jaw. A few moments of silence went by, you trailing the kisses down his neck, the man’s arms tightening around you.

“Well actually, you know, maybe I did plan-”

“Jin!”

2 years ago

#. 𝐕𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧 | 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

image

‹3 gif originally posted by nctsworld

[ ; M.List including other Neos! ]

─ Synopsis: Unexpectedly, your own demons had crept up on you without any warning. Being all too familiar with this feeling of anxiety, doubt, and insecurity - you have broken down into tears in front of your boyfriend.  No matter how many tears have been shed, Johnny Suh is your vitamin willing to fight off every plague affecting your mind.

─ Pairing: Idol!Johnny Suh x Gender-Neutral Reader

─ Genre: One-Shot, Angst w. Comfort, Fluff/Wholesome

─ Concepts: Idol!Johnny Suh, established relationship, johnny comforting reader basically, cuddling with johnny <3, reader being insecure / feeling like a burden, implications of reader suffering with depression / depressive episodes, some johnny humor because it makes my heart ache less when writing it, this hitting too close to home why tf did i write this at 2 am

─ Count of Words: 3.2k

─ Inspiration of the work: Godspeed by Frank Ocean + “Girl, you gotta take it all baby and i’ll be your therapist for the day, that’s okay.” (Vitamin by NCT 127) 

❒ a/n: this is self-indulgent, but please take care of yourself. i really do hope yall are doing alright <3 just a reminder: you guys arent alone! and it’s okay to have bad days. stay safe ෆ

Something felt wrong today.

It was one of those days where you returned back home from work, the long hours taking a toll on your drained body and your mind weighing heavily with unexpected burdens. Though today was no different from your usual schedule, you suddenly reached a limit of your own mentality; however, what could have triggered it? You cannot find one explanation or one reason why it would happen so suddenly.

To you, it was simply one of those days where you begin to crumble without much real reason; fingertips gripping onto the surface tightly yet begging to loosen, as though you didn’t mind the idea of falling.

Standing in front of the counter with a heavy chest, you came to a pause with what you were doing; the cup of ramen steaming in front of you, a cloud of heat rising and causing your own vision to become hazy. Tiredly, you look down at the softened noodles, the packets of spices sitting near your frozen hands. Slowly turning to the time displayed on the microwave with green, glowing numbers; you read the late numbers of the night, knowing your boyfriend will be coming home in a few minutes.

Knowingly, Johnny Suh would be returning with his own tiredness cursing his tensed body. But, you could vividly imagine him returning home with a smile appearing on his face upon seeing you; his whole body led to you, as though he had a set course every time he sees you - he is always navigating his way to you, no matter how heavy his body feels. No matter how his feet drags, he is approaching you with a warm smile and eyes flickering like a steady flame of a candle.

Keep reading

2 years ago
butterflytaeil - waffle penguin
butterflytaeil - waffle penguin

jaemin in a tank top 😳

2 years ago

morning with haechan *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Morning With Haechan *ੈ✩‧₊˚
Morning With Haechan *ੈ✩‧₊˚
Morning With Haechan *ੈ✩‧₊˚
Morning With Haechan *ੈ✩‧₊˚
Morning With Haechan *ੈ✩‧₊˚

🌻✨🌙🌿☁

pairing : idol haechan x f reader.

genre : tooth rutting fluff, domestic, established relationship.

summary : to be very straightforward, this was inspired by his ig live in hongkong.

word count : 1648 words.

warnings : reader has period cramps, make-out session, suggestive.

a/n : i wrote this mainly for myself 😔 i love haechan so much 😭

masterlist

buy me a coffee 🥹🫶🏼

Morning With Haechan *ੈ✩‧₊˚

if there is a way you could translate the perfect morning, it’d be the way haechan always wraps his arms securely around your body, holding you close to him. it would translate into the way he nuzzles his cute nose into the deepest crook of your neck and breathe in your scent calmly before he opens his eyes. it would be the way he hums softly as his hair tickles your nape and his eyes would notice the goosebumps that would prickle your skin.

but this time, your perfect morning doesn’t seem so perfect anymore when you wake up with atrocious cramps eating out at your lower belly. you can’t open your eyes as you try to control your breathing, your frail fingers catching on haechan’s to ease the pain, or barely try to as it gets stronger.

you curse inside your head and prepare yourself mentally for the hell of a week that’s ahead of you. before an accident would occur, you gently peel yourself away from haechan’s strong grip and hurry to the bathroom. with a deep sigh, you quickly put on a pad and go back to the warmth of the bed.

haechan’s eyes are still closed as he senses you back beside him and without wasting a second, he fumbles around the sheets to wrap his arms around you again, squeezing you into a hug and stretching his body at the same time. you instantly snuggle into his neck before guiding your lips to the mole sitting just below his neck and kissing it gently.

“good morning,” he softly whispers, voice gruff and still dripping with sleep. his morning voice never ceasing to give you butterflies deep inside your tummy.

you hum in response when his fingers start dancing around your lower back, gently massaging your achy muscles. you feel comfortable beside him and your body always seems to feel lighter whenever he’s cuddling into you.

“do you have practice this morning?” you ask with your eyes closed. haechan smiles down at you, a hand still massaging your back while the other slithers inside your hair. his fingers deliver the most tender touches around your ear, the gestures helping you relax even more and melt into him like a burning candle.

you secretly wish he’d have a late start of the day today, just so you can stay glued to him all morning.

“do you want me to stay longer with you?” haechan smiles, his eyes squeezing shut in the process.

your response is just you snuggling closer to his body, your legs wrapping around his.

“hm, clingy girl?” he chuckles as he ruffles your hair, waiting for a verbal answer this time.

you deeply breathe his scent that’s drifting to your nose with every movement of his body. placing another gentle kiss to his neck, you hum. “yes, i want you to stay longer. don’t want you to leave me just yet.”

“okay baby, anything for you,” his thumb dances on your face, the pad kneading around your forehead, temple and the space between your ear and cheek.

“you’re gonna cancel practice?” you pop your eyes open, lifting your face to come closer to his.

“you know i can’t do that, baby,” he pouts, kissing the bridge of your nose before kissing your lips. “but it won’t hurt if i go a bit late.”

you can’t hide your disappointment but you also can’t be greedy while dating an idol. you try to wipe the pout off your face and end up smiling up at him. a stubble has started to from on his chin, giving him a vary sexy look and his lips are beautifully puffy and so kissable, hypnotizing you into pushing your arm up from the sheets and placing your fingers on his pillow-like lips. on instinct, he pressed the tip of his tongue on the corner of his mouth before biting his lower lip and giggling at your sweet actions.

with the pad of his finger still caressing your cheek and yours running through his lower lip, you couldn’t believe that this is true. how he’s here by your side and he loves you way too much for his his own good. and you…your whole existence now has meaning with his name written all over the corners of your body and mind, with touches and kisses and words and hugs imprinted on the map of your skin that he knows oh so well.

you’re not afraid of being an open book to him because he’s so gentle and generous with you. he knows you so well and you don’t mind it one bit. and the same goes for him. he’s never afraid to be vulnerable with you and to unveil his deepest thoughts and feelings because he knows that you’d always have his back, and would love him the way he deserves.

“i’m so in love with you, i can physically feel it.” you confess, taking haechan by surprise.

“yeah?” he whispers, the corners of his lips stretching into a wide smile. with his thumb traveling down to caress your lips, his face gets closer to yours before he places the tenderest, most gently powerful kiss on your lips. your heart skips two beats at a time as he seems to take you into a place far from reality with only his lips dancing around yours.

his soft lips push into yours and mold together to create the perfect pace. your fingers grip his waist, legs pulling him closer into you as if it’s possible to merge into one. your body exudes warmth that can burn his bones down to ashes down your feet, but you would bring him to life over and over again with just one pinch of your fingers. haechan’s heart drums crazily over the curves of his ribcage as his fingers take their usual path to lodge into the swell of your hips, and going down to strongly grip on your butt.

the smallest yet most sinful whine escapes the back of your throat as you arch your back into him, your chest pressing into his, nipples hotly poking his naked chest and igniting a speedy rush of blood to pump angrily down his bundle of nerves. haechan’s breathing quickens and he latches on your lips as if it’s his last mission.

he makes you feel good with everything he does, from his passionate kisses to his sensual touches, he’s got your small heart full of him. and with one last bite on your lower lip, he gently pulls away with it still between his teeth, before it bounces back to its place, a visible thread of saliva stretching between your mouths.

“can you feel it now?” he breathes, hard on top of you. “how much i love you?”

your hazy eyes gaze at each other as if you guys were up in the clouds, your chests rise and fall through a crazy rhythm with fingers still gripping into each other because you can’t get enough.

“more.” you whisper.

“more?” haechan chuckles, pecking your lips softly. “more what, baby?” he tilts his head to the side, his childish side quickly making an appearance after he has just managed to swipe you off your feet, not quite literally since you guys were laying down on the bed.

“i can feel it more now,” you guide his hand to place it on top of your trembling heart, and he smiles proudly at that. “and i always want more of you, haechan. always, always, always.”

“i’m always yours baby, and you can take whatever you want from me, i’m all yours.” his arms wrap around you, giving you the warmest hug before softly pulling away.

“i’ll be back in a sec.” he quickly retreats from your embrace before getting back to bed with a tissue in his hand. you look at him confused before he starts wiping the droplets of sweat that have gathered on top of your cupid’s bow and all around your neck.

your heart swells at his actions and you can’t help the smile from reaching your lips as you notice the pout forming on his mouth from concentrating on wiping your sweat away from your skin.

“are you having bad cramps?” haechan asks, worrisome visible on his face. “you’re sweating so much…” he trails off, voice softening towards the end.

“yes,” you answer, only now realizing the state you’re in. “but you made me forget about them,” you smile tenderly at him.

“i love you so much,” he wraps both his hands around your face, before kissing your forehead. “my strong girl. let me go grab some painkillers for you, hm?” he kisses your forehead again.

you nod your head at him with a smile on your face. you see his silhouette disappear behind the door of the bedroom before you turn to lie on your back. the butterflies inside your tummy getting wilder by the second, with every kind touch and word coming from haechan, you seem to only drown in his love even deeper, especially when he knows what’s wrong with you without you saying anything to him.

you deeply inhale from your nose, when you see him enter the room again, a cup of water and painkillers in hand.

“here,” he helps you sit up, pulling your body up with a hand gently placed on the back of your neck. he then grabs the cup of water and guides it to your lips, smiling at you until you take a sip. “there you go.”

“thank you.”

“anything for my baby,” he smiles before turning his attention to the window behind you. “it seems like it’s gonna rain this morning, how about we put on a movie of your choice?”

“sounds like a perfect morning then.”

and with that, period cramps are long forgotten, and your perfect morning is back again.

back and better.

Morning With Haechan *ੈ✩‧₊˚

a/n : this was supposed to be a small haechan drabble…i got carried away SO MUCH!! but blame haechan, don’t blame me 😔 i hope you enjoyed what i wrote, please reblog if you did🫶🏼 my heart is still beating so fast!!🤭

Morning With Haechan *ੈ✩‧₊˚
3 years ago

“Choose yourself this time.”

2 years ago

“That’s the only thing that matters, honey, for someone to see more in you than you thought there was to see.”

— Arthur Japin, In Lucia’s Eyes

3 years ago

when’s my turnnnn god

warm and fuzzy and a little confused - haechan scenario

ofcourse how could i start this year without a cute scenario with my favorite fullsun🥺💛 hope you like it! as always i appreciate all your support! leave a like/comment here if you have any questions or suggestions!

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2022 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

Warm And Fuzzy And A Little Confused - Haechan Scenario

If someone asked you years ago if you’ll ever feel this kind of happiness, you’d probably say no. Heartaches after heartbreak, you’ve long given up on searching for love. 

Keep reading

2 years ago

bodo this was intenseeee

four seven eight

image

pairing: jungkook x reader

wordcount: 12k

glimpse: you’re secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you aren’t so secure about is his first love — someone who isn’t you.

alternatively, jungkook’s married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.

[ part one + intermission + part two + intermission 02 + finale ]

[ major angst (pls take a break when necessary!!), no cheating happens here btw, some rlly cute moments i swear, jk’s a cold lover, emotional constipation + breakdowns, allusions to anxiety + anxiety attacks, self-deprication n loathing, miscommunication, based on the moral dilemma of whether or not it’s okay to be friends with ur ex, eventual redemption in the next parts :) ]

notes: it’s finally out and i can’t wait for you to read!! this piece is my baby, the rightful successor to heartburn <3 i’m aware that the last time i wrote a mini-series it was rlly heavy, but please trust me when i say that this would be lighter <3

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :) | series masterlist

Keep reading

3 years ago

to build a home. ljn

image

8.6k words | lee jeno’s one shot [to build a home]

genre ➛ romance, photographer! au, tooth-rotting fluff, established relantioship! au, domestic! au. 

he was exactly what you longed for: the safety of a pair of arms around you, the scent of freshly baked bread, a feather-like kiss on your forehead, the one breath of devotion in your lungs as his tongue found yours, that same breath that made God himself turn and toss in his bed as you had stolen from him, his most beloved angel.

— disclaimer ➛ This is a work of fiction. I do not own famous character(s) such as idols and my writings are in no way meant to show these people’s real nature and/or offend them in any way. You can not copy or translate my writings without my permission.

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butterflytaeil - waffle penguin
waffle penguin

waddling my way thru life

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