This Is Going To Be Difficult -> I Am Capable Of Doing Difficult Things -> I Have Done Everything Prior

i'm conducting an experiment on how to study the theory effectively

there are i guess two main ways:

(1) read and take notes simultaneously

(2) read first, then take notes

so for the first one, there is the risk of going passive with the note-taking, writing down the symbols without focusing on their meaning. for the second one there is the risk of zoning out and just reading the symbols, again, losing their meaning

the problem seems to be that the processing of sheer symbols and processing their meanings might be disjoint and their natural tendency seems to be so

from my recent actions i noticed that (1) doesn't work for me as effectively as (2)

it might be that when i don't plan to write something down right away, i am more inclined to remember these things short-term as "i won't be able to check it later so remember it now in order to understand what comes next", and when i'm taking notes simultaneously it's "i have it written down anyway so i can take a peek anytime"

so now i'm testing the strategy of

read → try to understand the idea and memorize the elements → why all the elements are important → understand the construction in more detail and write it down

this is how i imagine my mind working:

it means that at first i start to remember the elements as points of its own but simultaneously my brain builds its idea on how they interact and then i notice the inner structure of how the elements are connected with each other in less obvious ways

this idea is cool to visualize how i imagine my thinking, because it shows how learning the topic reduces possible permutations and paths. i have this problem that when i start learning something new i see so many possibilities of what can happen to the elements that i can't discern between crucial and additional stuff. in order to use the knowledge i need to provide some structure

thus the main goal of optimized learning is to take the leap from "i memorized the elements" to "i understand their structure" as fast as possible

and so the strategy (2) might be more effective as it forces the memorization of the elements first and then it is easier to provide structure for them, where i would be defining order on something that's already in my mind. whereas (1) strikes at memorization and structuring simultaneously, it is too difficult for me to see at first in which direction the topic is going, i must know the next point

in a few days i will focus on how "the point" can be defined in this and how to characterize the connections

honestly tho this is some sorta pseudo graph theory and pseudo topology and i don't believe this could be as straightforward. otherwise nobody would ever post any study tips and we would have a field of study called "learning optimazation", this would be too big to go unnoticed. i wish it was so easy to just know how brain works and be able to build such an algorithm that would optimize the desired processes lmao

i wish i was a σ-field or something

side not is, i love this kind of thinking and i love to analyze how the thinking works, especially when it can me algorithmized or structured in some ways. the moment i see something is structured or algorithmic it becomes interesting to me

parents got a new cat they named lord montague and this morning i heard my dad in the other room say "i would have to advise against that decision, my lord" followed by a crashing sound

you really can't

wha?

please explain what this message means or else the curiosioty will kill me

I have a possibly unusual question. since I left high school and was no longer being forced to read I completely stopped looking at fiction and other books that are not math textbooks. this is partly because I fucking hated reading as an activity – I have adhd and asd, so not only my attention regulation causes a lot of problems, I also struggle with visualizing what's happening and imagining/undestanding the intentions and mindsets of the characters. now, I am properly medicated so attention isn't as much of an issue anymore and I remember enjoying some of the books I've been forced to go through. I miss reading, overall it had a positive impact on my thinking process, I miss analyzing the human experience, so to speak

I liked Dostoyevsky, Vonnegut, Philip K. Dick, Huxley, Kafka and some other "philosophified" authors. I also enjoyed war-themed books in general such as all quiet on the western front, and everything related to the soviet union

finally, my question is, what would you recommend for someone with this taste, who also likes math¹, has a hard time with visual imagination and people but enjoys analyzing human experience, who would possibly like to see a represenation of themselves in the characters of the novel? I would love to rebuild my reading habits, but I am lost as to where to start so I don't get discouraged

¹ I included math in here because maybe there is a book about what it's like to be a mathematician (or a scientist of some kind) that give some existentialist vibes or something, if it exists I want to read it lol

I want to follow all of you!

13 III 2023

I remember putting it in my bio a while ago that I dream of doing actual research one day. well this is already happening, as I mentioned in some post, my advisor found an open question for me to write my thesis about

the progress for now is that I'm done with most of the reading I need to do to tackle it and I'm slowly moving forward with thinking of ideas for the solution (or at least a partial one)

this is what I want to do for the rest of my life: reading papers and trying to write my own ones

ofc I don't know if I manage to solve the problem or achieve anything at all with it but the process itself is fun

other than that I've been catching up with homeworks and assignments from work. fortunately I found an MIT lecture recordings for statistics so hopefully I might not die from boredom

watching probability and stats lectures from MIT has been my relationship's idea of netflix and chill for a while now, gotta cultivate the tradition

the algtop professor asked us to write down a full detailed solution for an exercises we did in class, because the person presenting was unable to explain it so I sent him mine

I don't know yet if it's correct but I'm pretty sure it is. I wrote this down partly because who doesn't want extra points and partly because I didn't have a chance to present it, the person who did was faster

I like how my life is right now, I want to keep it that way

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

no fuckin way

7 III 2023

it's the second week of the semester and I must say that it's easier than I predicted

statistical data analysis is boring but easy, algebra 2 is easy but probably interesting, so is differential geometry

algebraic topology was funny because ⅓ of the group completed the algebraic methods course, so at first we told the professor to skip half of the lecture (we all know the required part of category theory) and then with every new piece of information he would say "ok maybe this will be the first thing today that you don't know", to which we would reply "naaah we've seen this" lmao. but the course overall will be fun and maybe it's even better that the level of difficulty won't be as high as I though, that would leave more time for my other stuff

the tutorial part of number theory was scary, because the professor wanted us to work in pairs. my autistic ass hates working in groups and the noise in the room was unbearable (everyone was talking about the exercises we were given to solve), so I was on the verge of a meltdown after 30 minutes of this despite ANC headphones. next time I will work by myself from the start. maybe without the requirement of communication it won't be as bad. the course itself will be easy, when it comes to the material. I know nothing about number theory, so the novelty will make it more enjoyable. a few people said that they would prefer the tutorial in the standard form, maybe I won't have to worry about surviving it if there are enough people who want to change it

my birthday is tomorrow and as a gift my parents gave me enough money to buy an ipad, I was saving for it since november. for a few days now I've been testing different apps for note taking, pdf readers and other tools useful for studying. I must say, this is a game changer, I absolutely love it

taking notes itself is less comfortable than on an e-ink tablet, which gives very paperlike experience, but it's better than traditional ones. the upside is that I can use different colors and the whole process is less rigid than on an e-ink

two apps that seem the best for now are MarginNote 3 and GoodNotes

the first one is good for studying something from multiple sources. the app allows to open many pdfs, take pieces from them and then arrange them in a mindmap. it's possible to add handwritten notes, typed notes, photos and probably more that I don't know yet. all of this seems to be particularly useful when studying for exams or in other situations when it's necessary to review a huge chunk of material

the second app is for regular handwritten notes. it doesn't have any special advantages other than I just like the interface lol what I like about taking notes on ipad is that I can take photos and insert them directly into the notebook, which I can't do on the e-ink. it's great for lectures and classes because I don't usually write everything down (otherwise I can't listen, too busy with writing) and even if I do, I don't trust myself with it so I take photos anyway. being able to merge the photos with notes reduces chaos

oh god this is going to be a long post! other news from life is that yesterday I had a meeting with my thesis advisor and we finally picked a topic. some time ago he sent me a paper to try and said, very mysteriously, to let him know if it's not too hard before he reveals more details about his idea. the paper is about symmetric bilinear forms on finite abelian groups, pure algebra, and I was supposed to write about algebraic topology, so I tried to search where this topics comes up, but didn't find anything. it turns out that it's used to define some knot invariant, which I would use to write about the classification of singularities of algebraic curves. in the meantime my advisor had another idea, which is an open problem in knot theory. we decided to try the second one, because there is less theory to learn before I could start writing the paper

to summarize what I'm about to do: there is a knot invariant called Jones polynomial, which then inspires a construction of a certain R-module on tangles and the question asks whether that module is free, if so, what is its rank. now I'm reading the book he gave me to learn the basics and I can't wait till I start working on the problem

Here’s a long but important comic for you <3

Accepting ourselves the way we are means we allow ourselves the things we need to make life a little easier. You don’t have to fight it, it’s ok have different needs to others. You are worthy of kindness, so be kind to you <3

love from the sad ghost club <3

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