No Fuckin Way

I loved the quiz! and the result is quite flattering haha

Well…

Looks like I made a uquiz

Try it here

27 IV 2022

neglected this place very much, would like to start posting again

may I start with what's new

the last semester was pretty much a failure, I passed everything but my grades were trash. had me seriously doubting my abilities

turns out studying comes easier when I am medicated correctly. I was diagnosed with adhd and asd, so now that I have proper meds and understand my brain a little bit better, things come easier

I fell deeply in love with algebraic topology. there was a notion of excitement about the whole concept of homotopy a few months ago, but now I am fiercely invested in making algebraic topo my field of choice

psychologically I am working on focusing more on the process than the results. it means that my goal is not "to be good at math" but rather to complete this homework, pass that test, etc., in hopes of reducing some of the stress coming from the fear of failure

my current semester is quite boring. ODEs are trivial, yet I have to sit on my ass for a few hours and learn how to solve them. analysis is difficult as always although differential forms are interesting. probability theory is just not my thing. only topology is the light in the tunnel

I don't have any specific plans for the next few days nor do I have any goals. maybe I want to study covering spaces and solve some problems concerning the fundamental group. other than that I need to complete my analysis homework and study de Rham cohomology

here are my category theory notes

If you want to rizz up a mathematician, just tell them that they "proved love at first sight exists by giving an explicite example".

Visualization of the Rubik's cube

7 XI 2022

I think I found an advisor and a topic for the bsc thesis! or rather they found me

one of the teachers that prepares us for writing our theses approached me and started asking about homology I mentioned during our presentation, he wanted to know what courses I took and how familiar I am with that stuff. I told him that I know a bit about homology only from self-study but I enjoyed everything from algebraic topo so far and I would be happy to write about something from that. "ok then I'll find the right topic for you" was his response. then he suggested I read Groups of Homotopy Spheres by Milnor and Kervaire and write about surgery theory. I was sold the moment I heard that name, it's almost as funny as writing about the hairy ball

so there she is, very high level, very complicated. I barely skimmed the first half of that 34-page paper, it's gonna take a lot of work before I learn the basics necessary to even comprehend what is going on. it feels good to be noticed tho, I'm so happy to start writing asap

other than that my mood hasn't been in a great place, because commutative algebra is super hard and I am struggling to find the right resources to study. the last thing we did was tensor product and I've been procrastinating actually studying it by making pretty notes lol

I found a textbook that seems decent. the theory is very thoroughly explained here and there are plenty of exercises ranging from easy to difficult ones

recently I've been trying a new method of tracking, which is instead of writing to-do lists, I write down what I did each day, here is what it looks like for now:

I find it much less anxiety-inducing than the to-do approach because I know damn well what I need to do and writing down what I actually completed feels much better than crossing things off of the list

this week I hope to study the tensor product, representable functors (yoneda is still not done with me) and probably start the complex analysis homework. if I have time I will study the prerequisites for the Milnor's paper

the human experience is so crazy. at any time i want, for free, i can comprehend the beauty and the horror of my own fragile existence, the cosmic insigificance and personal significance of my experiences, the impossibly vast yet laughably tiny boundaries of my own consciousness, and feel sick to my stomach with anticipation for everything i have yet to understand and grief for everything i have yet to lose.

15 V 2022

I have a topology test this friday, not gonna lie I'm kinda stressed. this is my favourite subject and I am dedicating a great deal of time to learn it so if I get a low grade it undermines the efficiency of my work. everyone thinks I'm an "expert", but internally I feel like I lied to them. it's ridiculous, because I can solve all the theoretical problems fairly well but the moment I have to calculate something for a specific example of a space I am clueless. and it's about applying theory to problems, right? so what is it worth

other than that tomorrow is a participation round in the integral competition at my university. I am participating. I don't have any high hopes for this, because it's been a while since I practiced integration and I am not motivated to do so because it's not an important skill – wolfram exists. either way could be fun, that's why I decided to go there

I am dreading the fact that I'll have to sit down and learn all the material from the probability theory until the exams. I've been ignoring it completely so far, because it's boring and complicated. the last homework broke me, it's high time to get my shit together

doing (basic) algebraic topology in this context feels like going to that jungle and saying you know what bring this thing down we are building a city here. everything is a CW complex, everything is euclidean, and compact or paracompact if it must, all of this so that we can forget about sidestepping around topology and do algebra in peace lmao

Measure theory and topology both have this great flavor where you give the most minimal possible definition for the thing you want and then you get all the nice properties, except no, your definition is soft enough to allow crazy nonsense counterexamples hiding behind everything that you have to carefully sidestep around. It's like doing math in a jungle

I got 55 and it seems to me that the majority of my answers were heavily influenced by asd

I took a test on like where you are on the ‘nonverbal intimacy scale’ and the average female score is 102 and male is 93.8 and I got 56 lolololol

here it is if ya want (reblog/reply w/ what you get!!)

Iconic Things My Coding Professors Have Said (and it’s only day one)

“that sounds very hacky, but smart”

“i’m not sure where i’m going with this… its quite similiar to my life”

*Entire class and prof spends fifteen minutes trying to solve a problem before eventually giving up* “great work guys, that was some good debugging”

“is this a super big issue?” *longggg dramatic sigh* “… yes”.

Professor 1: “it’s still not working? um… okay, maybe you should… turn off your wifi and turn it back on again?“   Professor 2: "40 years of experience in networking and computing at its finest”

“whenever i’m doing my taxes, i never use the calculator app on my phone, i always just open up a notebook and use python and i think thats very brave of me”

“your life quality with improve when you use python 3 instead of python 2. your skin will improve and you’ll even sleep better”

“so this compiler doesn’t recognise cases, so if you’re really perverse, you could do Apple, aPple, apPle, appLe, applE, but if you do that then i’m going to kick you out”

“so, let’s give an example: "True = False”. Asides from causing the end of the world, much like dividing by 0, this will also cause an error”

“if you want to see my cat, i’ll show her. if you DON’T want to see my cat, too bad, cause I’m going to show you her anyway”

“today we will use three keywords: `if`, `else`, and their weird cousin `elif`.”

“if you want to type something else, like… uh, goodbye world? maybe? is that too dark? i think its too dark, so lets save that for later on in the year… by the way, have you been told about your exams yet?”

Professor : “is everything clear so far? shall i go faster?”   Literally EVERYONE: “no! slower!“   Professor: "Slower?! you can go slow when you’re dead, you won’t need python then!”

“you can’t use functions as your variable names. for example, you can’t call this number "if”. i mean i don’t know why you’d use that as your variable name to begin with, but i’m not here to question your life, i’m here to teach you python”

“it’s probably not the most efficient but its just what came out of me so we’re running with it”

Part 1 | Part 2