Latest Posts by bruce-wayne-is-a-bottom - Page 4

Random BatFam (reference: Leverage, Season 3)

Riddler: The more you have of it, the less you see... what is-

Robin!Dick: Rice :D

Riddler: what

Robin!Dick: There's always more rice than you're anticipating in the bowl

Batman: *frantically trying to cut the ropes because he just realized his son is a dumbass*

ur nonverbal dick posts make me so happy🥺🥺💚💚💚 can u draw him w clark?

Poor Clark doesn’t know this is a compliment :(

Donnakory yuri you will always be famous

Selina: Things my stepkids have texted me.

Selina: "What's Alfred's actual name?"

Selina: "When does my Social Security Number expire?"

Selina: "My friends are almost here. Make sure Bruce stays in the Batcave."

Selina: "Happy Mother's Day! I Venmo'd you six dollars."

Selina: "I adopted a donkey in your name."

Selina: "Please don't send Bruce. I'm too tired to be embarrassed."

Selina: "Can you bring me my science homework and three hundred dollars?"

Selina: "Can I get lung cancer from smoked turkey?"

Selina: "What's my net worth?"

Selina: "Bruce accidentally posted a story on Instagram."

Selina: "Make sure no one drinks my Red Bull."

Selina: "Send me a pic of your signature. Don't ask questions please."

Selina: "All my friends are there. Tell Bruce to act normal."

Selina: "Will I get in trouble for driving with roller skates on?"

Selina: "I left a hot dog on the mantle. Can you put it in the fridge please?"

Selina: "Are you going to be near a Chipotle today or no?"

Superman is his favourite…

After Bruce took Dick under his care, he actually stopped wasting time on any casual relationships - it seemed inconceivable when a little traumatized boy with unrestrained aggression and a desire to commit a capital murder was waiting for him at home. But after a few years, he thought, to hell with it, he deserved one night of good old fun. So he went to this gala concert in his best outfit, having previously arranged with Alfred to take Dick out for a short hike so that the mansion would be free during the night. And when he started looking for his "victim", he came across this charming reporter, all screaming Mr. Awkward with the broadest shoulders known to a man, and hands as warm as his smile, and Bruce, of course, takes him home. And everything goes great, only Dick returns earlier than Bruce expected, and enters his bedroom as usual without knocking.

Dick: hey B look i collected a whole basket of mushro— SUPERMAN??

Bruce, still half asleep, barely covering himself with a blanket: what

Dick: WHY IS THERE SUPERMAN IN YOUR BED.

Clark, without his glasses, his hair is combed back from the position of his head on the pillow: um

Bruce, already embarrassed and feeling like he'd failed as a guardian by letting Dick catch him the morning after: Dick what are you talking about, it's just some—

Bruce, turning to face Clark:

Bruce, paling:

Dick: THIS IS THE SUPERMAN YOU DICKHEAD WHAT IS HE DOING IN YOUR BED WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM—

Bruce: i... i don't know how to answer that

Dick, almost crying: DID YOU MAKE LOVE TO HIM WITHOUT TELLING ME—

Cass keeps a family photo with her, that's so sweet 😭 ❤️

Batgirl (2024) #3

when Duke needs backup in a fight he uses his powers to blast bat-signal-esque signs into the sky to call for whatever sibling is best suited for the job. each sibling hates their calling sign, and even worse, they actually have to respond to it because Duke only uses them when he’s like three minutes away from dying so they literally have no choice, like if their symbol shows up they have to fucking BOLT over there regardless of the indignance or Duke will not make it

Jason: the middle finger emoji

Damian: a somehow detailed image of the Boss Baby

Dick: just the word ‘slut’ in bubble letters

Tim: the red robin restaurant logo, complete with ‘gourmet burgers and brews!’ underneath

Steph: a taco, in reference to a time when she was drunk one night and Tim got on video her chasing down a moving taco truck insistently only to face plant into the side of it when the driver finally stopped to let her buy one

Cass: her regular symbol, because shes the only one he respects completely and it drives the others insane to have one sibling un-harassed

Bruce doesn’t have one because he refuses to call for Bruce. Alfred has one, a shotgun, although it’s never been used, and it pisses Bruce off to no end.

🌻 comm for gee! thank you 💖

Batman/Superman: World's Finest #38 - "Superior Species" (2025)

written by Mark Waid art by Clayton Henry & Tamra Bonvillain

A compilation of snuggly Stephcass for all your snuggly Stephcass needs~

I just think that Joker would sidle up to Bruce Wayne at a urinal and be like 'pissing all by yourself handsome? ;)' and Bruce Wayne would be like 'we are in the bathroom of my heavily secured penthouse apartment. on the 101st floor. how the FUCK did you get up here'

but, crucially, he would not stop pissing

I’m reading Batman: Failsafe and I’m having FEELINGS

Bruce: Today I realised I'm old

Clark: What happened?

Bruce: I fell in the kitchen and instead of laughing, all my kids came running to see if I was ok

Clark:

Bruce: I saw fear in their eyes

when your love language is secretly physical touch, but any amount of affection overwhelms you 🙄

parents & pedigree [x] [x]

Superman tarot for assignment :3

Press, holding a microphone too close to Tim’s face at a gala: how are you settling in at the Wayne’s now you’re officially adopted?

Tim, with a confused face: What do you mean? I’m not adopted.

Press: ..What? No, you were adopted-

Tim: Bruce gave birth to me.

Bruce, behind Tim, nodding: Obviously.

I'd like to dedicate this one to the work I was procrastinating on this afternoon

I love the hc that Dick, when he was like 12, thought Bruce and Clark were together but kept it low-key. So he got really close to him compared to other jla members. Because he thought that was his step-dad. One day, he sees Bruce with a woman and gets so mad. He goes to metropolis and tells Clark what Bruce did because it was wrong. And Clark is so confused. So he just says "I'll talk to him, let me take you home"

And then he talks to Bruce, and they actually end up kissing. And Dick is angry and yells at both of them, saying cheating is wrong and Clark can't just forgive Bruce like that. And then they talk about why he thought they were dating. And he explains. He saw them look at each other like his parents looked at each other. And, of course, that meant they were in love. Bruce and Clark have their jaws on the floor.

my eyes are open

I don’t think we have appreciated this exchange enough

SOBBINGGG theyre so sweetttt

save a horse (the sequel) 🐎

Wiii Timkoooonnn 💖💖💖💖✨✨

Someone please shoot me in the head

Ok but what if Bruce and Clark are already married when Tim and Kon get together and Kon can’t stop making awful “oh step brother” porn jokes and Tim is seconds away from murdering him at all times but Kon has legit never laughed this hard in his life.

Clark absolutely plays it up when he meets little kids dressed like Batman in Metropolis, referring to them as his old friend and making them ecstatic. He also has a habit of helping any little Robins he finds do flips.

Batman runs into little Supermans in Gotham and sends Clark photos of them from his lenses captioned with things like, "On the job for six years and already better than you" or answering questions about Supes like "Yes I am his boss."