9/10 Body

Oh? You’re worried about me? Didn’t you read the label on the tin?

Abnormal

Psychology

Case

Study

This goes so much deeper than detrans kink. This goes so so so much deeper.

Identity is like a mask to be worn. I’m someone without a face. I need those masks or I am no one and nothing. I am not a person, I am just the mist, the entity between lives.

You don’t know who I am, because I don’t exist, and I never have.

This mask hurts me. That is the whole point. This mask hurts me because the pain feels good. You’re judging me for that??? Masks have a purpose. I just want to feel better okay???

Someday I’ll leave behind a lifelong schizo ARG and only in the 22nd century will people understand the art in my madness.

Please just stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop st

I’ve been more clearheaded lately. I’ve been entertaining the idea that perhaps, actually, I am just a guy and I should actually detrans, not for kink but actually. My reasoning is that I only transitioned in the first place out of a desire to become a different person sort of, so being a girl is just kind of me pretending to be someone else. Am I genuinely a pretty feminine person? Yeah I guess so. Does that mean I am this trans girl I’ve been for the past few years? Not necessarily. I find that if I fall into who I am naturally… I honestly do seem to just be kind of a male sex pest, sooo maybe that’s what I am. Maybe that’s all I need to be.

me: Well at least my misogyny is just a silly kink, I do actually respect women after all

the truth: I spend all day everyday gooning to objectified pregnant women, feet, egirls, and a lot of SFW pics of women who probably had no idea their pictures would be used as jackoff material… and I can’t stop myself.

How do you feel about being forcefemmed into giving up any silly little notions of ever making it as a man?

honestly rn i’m begging for someone to forcefem me. Maybe that sounds crazy based on my blog but like genuinely if I had a 1 on 1 dynamic with someone very interested in making me in particular into a very feminine girl I’d be all over it. Please please please someone come into my dms and offer to turn me into a girly girl.

Went through a whole arc about my facial hair today but in the end it is now gone :)

how femininely did you use to dress, like what did your wardrobe/style look like?

At risk of identifying myself I wore a lot of striped tops and had short cut bangs with my hair often dyed orange, I usually had an egirl makeup style with winged eyeliner and lots of blush. I was cute. Sometimes I jack off to old pictures of myself.

not really my place to judge, but i find it interesting that you frame detransition as "getting worse," inherently degrading and something you'd need to be forced into. it makes this kink seem like an elaborate form of self-harm.

not that i can judge, i browse these kinds of blogs because they make me feel miserable by proxy!

Yep.

lol yep.

You hit the nail on the head.

What can I say, self harm is really hot :P

Cutting my arms doesn’t do it for me, it has to be deeply psychological.

I guess I’m sorry for a while now this blog has been less detrans kink and more detrans self-exploration. That’s maybe not what you’re here for. I think most likely I am gender fluid but I don’t know if maybe that’s just a step on a larger path towards being 100% male. After all I used to be very binary female and now I’m kinda 50/50 so it’s clearly trending in a male direction. I don’t think I *like* that exactly. I kind of detest the idea of becoming male. I’ve toyed with the idea of listening to sissy or bimbo hypnosis to reinforce my girliness.

This is pretty specific but if anyone knows of any hypnosis intended to turn you into an obnoxious manic egirl send it my way 😘

I might change the name of this blog to reflect my uncertainty.

Even when I was a girl this was the kind of girl I tried to be lol

I have reached another milestone in my detrans notes game! Because I hit 75 Notes I now have to go out in public as a guy sometimes. I had a specific meaning for this in mind but it was a little wordy to put in the notes game. Basically anytime I go somewhere alone, without friends or family, running an errand or just getting out of the house, I will put on a deep voice and let everyone see my short hair. I'll use the men's restroom and no one will think I was ever a girl.