Reblog If You're An Mtf Boy Who Wants People To Come Into Your DMs / Inbox And Tell You How Masculine

I took half my morning dose of hrt this morning, I guess with the intention of getting myself back on it? I haven’t taken my hrt for months. After taking it I quickly thought “How silly of me to think I could seriously commit to going back to being a girl.”

Fact is I can’t commit to either right now. I shaved my head 7 months ago and at this point my hair is kinda long… for a guy.

If I could commit to being a guy I’d go get a haircut and throw out my hrt, if I could commit to being a girl I’d take better care of myself and take my hrt everyday.

I’m doing neither. Genuinely could use someone throwing out my hrt and just shaving my head whether I like it or not.

Welp okay at least I have an explanation for things now.

I just had an appointment with my psychiatrist and he put two and two together that I actually have a rare condition that causes episodes of sleeping too much, hypersexuality, psychosis, and extremely impulsive behavior, among other things.

This is probably why every once in a while I have a stretch of a month where I’m constantly sleeping and when I am awake I can do nothing but goon in increasingly self-destructive ways.

Feels kinda nice to know I have a medical condition and I’m not just a loser.

The other cool thing about it is that in most people it goes away some point before they turn 30 meaning that I might actually have a functional life before long.

I have now filled my pillbox for the week aaaand… no hrt!

I have a bunch of left over progesterone from when I used to take progesterone and I’m curious if that would turn me back into a girl mentally.

Maybe that sounds crazy but I remember it making me feel a lot more feminine back when I took it.

I took half my morning dose of hrt this morning, I guess with the intention of getting myself back on it? I haven’t taken my hrt for months. After taking it I quickly thought “How silly of me to think I could seriously commit to going back to being a girl.”

Fact is I can’t commit to either right now. I shaved my head 7 months ago and at this point my hair is kinda long… for a guy.

If I could commit to being a guy I’d go get a haircut and throw out my hrt, if I could commit to being a girl I’d take better care of myself and take my hrt everyday.

I’m doing neither. Genuinely could use someone throwing out my hrt and just shaving my head whether I like it or not.

This was kind of a lie ig lol

I’m definitely a girl right now and I am actively sabotaging any possible boyification.

I can’t wait for your guy self to win. Do you think it’ll be long before it happens?

At the moment I’m the girl self so I can say something from kind of a different angle.

When I want to be a guy I take a lot of steps towards masculinization and try to sabotage my “girl self”

When I’m a girl I never really get more feminine. I never try to fix things. In fact I still engage in this detrans stuff.

It’s like… I’m just genuinely not in the mindset of BEING a girl ever anymore. A lot of the time I WANT to be a girl, like I used to be, but I’m just… not one. If I try to be all feminine it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m crossdressing. I want so badly to go back to feeling comfortable as a girl, I just can’t seem to anymore.

So to answer your question, I’m not sure it will be long.

I have been skipping my hrt most of this year. Even when I have doubts about detrans I still usually don’t take it. I haven’t really noticed many changes yet, besides it being easier to get an erection and developing a tiny bit more facial hair, but the reason I’m doing it is for my breeding kink :P

new development!!!

I tried thinking of myself as a “femboy” and… something clicked. I *liked* it. Not just in a kinky way that made me feel dysphoric in a horny way, no. It made me feel *good* about myself. Like, maybe I AM a femboy.

Okie sorry for going crazy, back to horny times

Gonna explore my potential identity as a boy through kink <3

still love this gif

me: Well at least my misogyny is just a silly kink, I do actually respect women after all

the truth: I spend all day everyday gooning to objectified pregnant women, feet, egirls, and a lot of SFW pics of women who probably had no idea their pictures would be used as jackoff material… and I can’t stop myself.

changed my username from cis-man-echo to boymoder-echo to better reflect my status as a cute boy that shouldn’t even bother trying to be a girl.